Meet Maria Rei

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Maria Rei. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Maria, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Developing my confidence and self-esteem has been a lifelong struggle for me, starting from my earliest memories when I was a little girl going to school everyday feeling like I looked different from other girls in my class.

They were all blond, I was a brunette.
They all had beautiful porcelain skin, I was this weird khaki color (which I now know as olive).
They had beautiful light colored eyes, which actually I also had.

Except unlike their eyes, mine were framed with a thick black unibrow above and dark circles below.

As I grew older and ventured into relationships, I found myself repeatedly drawn to toxic, emotionally unavailable partners—a direct reflection of my own insecurities. To overcome this, I attempted to mold and transform myself to please them so much that I completely lost sight of who I was. This unhealthy pattern not only worsened my confidence and self esteem, but it also fast tracked me to a self-worth crisis several years ago, where my confidence and self-esteem were now at an all time low. Then, over the course of seven transformative years, I dedicated myself to undoing these destructive patters and rebuilding from the ground up. The most impactful steps in this process have been:

Practicing Self-Love and Acceptance:
Learning to embrace and accept every part of myself, especially the parts of myself that I didn’t like and that I was deeply rejecting, was pivotal. This journey involved cultivating a deep sense of compassion and understanding for who I truly am.

Showing Up Authentically:
I challenged myself consistently to show up authentically in every aspect and in every relationship in my life. By shedding layers of pretense and embracing vulnerability, I discovered a newfound sense of freedom and authenticity.

The Use of Positive Self Affirmations:
I began nurturing and celebrating the qualities I genuinely appreciated about myself. This act of self-affirmation became a cornerstone in restoring my self-esteem.

Prioritizing My Well-being:
Central to my journey was prioritizing my emotional, mental, and physical well-being. By honoring my needs unapologetically, I ensured that I was always bringing my best self to every situation.

Commitment To Continuous Evolution:
Above all, this process has been about ongoing growth and evolution. It’s not a one-time fix but a commitment to perpetual self-discovery and improvement.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

Born with a deep-rooted fear of abandonment and rejection, my early years were clouded by the fear of being left behind or unaccepted. This fear blossomed into codependency, creating a perfect storm of people-pleasing tendencies that only fueled my anxious attachment style.

My journey was chaotic: I faced abandonment and rejection repeatedly, often from those I trusted most. This painful cycle led me to toxic and emotionally abusive relationships. I became a codependent, people-pleasing hot mess, losing sight of who I was and allowing my emotional state to hinge on how others treated me.

This looked like:
Doing everything I thought everyone wanted me to do, in order to be liked.
Feeling on top of the world when people around me were happy and content, because that obviously meant I had done something right.
Assuming that every time someone looked unhappy or disappointed, that it was obviously something I had done wrong.
Mentally obsessing over how I could correct said wrong, so that they could be happy with me again.
Hiding who I really was and how I really felt, and pretending to be happy when I wasn’t, for fear that if I was honest, people would reject, judge and abandon me.

All of which made me a magnet for toxic and emotionally unavailable relationships.

That all changed as I lay crying over another Mr. Wrong, staring at my phone for a reply that never came, I hit a breaking point. I vowed to transform my life and become a magnet for healthy love before even thinking about another relationship.

My transformation began with a 7-year relationship hiatus. During this time, I confronted and healed my codependency, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment. I allowed myself to feel the uncomfortable emotions I had long avoided—anger, rage, hurt, sadness, grief, and regret—and cultivated the feelings I had sought in others: happiness, joy, love, peace, and worthiness.

Codependency is an addiction, much like any other. We rely on others to feel what we cannot or to avoid feelings we dread. In my 7 years of healing, I broke this addiction. I learned to feel what I needed and cultivate my own happiness, joy, and worthiness.

Now, I want to help other women do the same.

When we break free from this addiction and start embracing our own emotions, we no longer need others to fill that void. That’s when the right people show up—the partners, friends, clients, and opportunities we’ve been longing for.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The Art of Self-Love:
Learning to love myself deeply has been transformative. How we love ourselves sets the tone for how others and life itself respond to us. When we truly embrace our worth, we become unstoppable.

The Power of Emotions:
Feeling and processing my emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, has been revolutionary. This practice birthed Emotional Energetics in my life—a profound act of self-love and a gateway to healing.

Trusting My Inner Voice:
Amidst the constant barrage of societal expectations and external influences, learning to trust my own instincts and truth has been crucial. Returning to my authentic self allowed me to make meaningful impacts in my life and the lives of others.

Advice for Beginners: For those starting their journey:
Begin with Self-Love: Invest in understanding and accepting yourself fully. This forms the bedrock for all personal growth.
Honoring Emotions: Allow yourself to feel without judgment. Emotions are powerful guides on our journey to healing and self-discovery.
Trust Yourself: Tune out the noise of external expectations and reconnect with your inner wisdom. Your authenticity is your superpower; trust it to lead you forward.

Tell us what your ideal client would be like?

My ideal client is a woman who is tired of the cycle of toxic or emotionally unavailable relationships and is ready to break free. She is determined to love herself fully and unapologetically, recognizing that self-love is the key to breaking these patterns and attracting healthy, fulfilling relationships. She understands that true love starts from within; it’s not about finding someone to complete her but about becoming whole and empowered on her own journey. By prioritizing her own emotional healing and growth, she aims to become a magnet for genuine, healthy love that aligns with her worth and values.

Characteristics of an ideal client for me include:
Desire for Growth: She is motivated to heal and grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, breaking free from toxic relationship cycles.
Commitment to Self-Love: She values self-love as a foundational practice and is willing to invest in nurturing and celebrating her authentic self.
Readiness for Empowerment: She seeks empowerment to transform her relationship dynamics and enhance her overall well-being.
Openness to Change: She is open to exploring new perspectives and strategies to cultivate healthy, loving relationships.
Alignment with Emotional Energetics: She resonates with the concept of Emotional Energetics, understanding its potential to facilitate profound emotional healing and personal growth.
My ideal client embodies resilience, courage, and a commitment to reclaiming her worth and creating a life filled with love and authenticity.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://thefemmecast.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefemmecast/