Meet Marian Kao

We recently connected with Marian Kao and have shared our conversation below.

Marian, so great to have you with us today. There are so many topics we want to ask you about, but perhaps the one we can start with is burnout. How have you overcome or avoided burnout?

I experienced a major burnout during my sophomore year. At the time, I was sent back  home due to the pandemic. Thanks to the online classes, I had more time to work on my  own projects and handle school work at the same time. This led me to participate in some  art fairs in my country, marking my first entry into such events. I underestimated the  pressure and amount of work required for these events, which resulted in an overload of  tasks. I thought drawing itself could never be a torches to me, turns out that when you are  been force to do it without giving yourself a breathe, you are going to hate your favorite  thing at the end of the day.

While the art fairs were incredibly enjoyable and memorable, a part of my soul felt like it  was slowly vanishing. The burnout from the fairs wasn’t the worst part; as I completed  those accomplishments, the reality of pending finals loomed. Without stopping or taking  breaks, I immediately returned to work. I found myself staring at an endless to-do list,  eventually reaching a point where all I did was move my hands to create, as my  exhausted brain entered a blank space because I was too tired to think.

Only after everything was over I finally get a chance to sit back and hit the pause. I  realized that perhaps I didn’t want to draw for a while. Drawing had always been  instinctual and natural to me, so to some point it actually felt odd not to pick up my pen.  Yet, here I was, completely devoid of motivation, wishing I could run away from drawing. I  took a roughly two-month break without creating a single piece. During this time, I spent  more time with family and friends, going out, reading, watching shows, or simply doing  nothing and relishing the peace that I deserved.

As I slowly recharged from these life-enriching experiences, my motivation and creative  drive began to return. If you think the following part of the story will be about how I  suddenly regained everything I had lost, I must say that real life is brutal. Despite being  very accustomed to drawing because of my dedication to it, it’s undeniable that one can  become rusty without practice, and that is my consequences after a two-month break  without touching pen to paper.

While I was happy to return to a phase of desiring creation, it was also disheartening to  witness a significant decline in my drawing skills. Every event seemed connected, a chain  reaction of sorts. I had already pushed myself too far, leading to a subsequent struggle as  I realized I couldn’t perform as well as before. I realized that the extreme ups and downs

were exhausting me, causing a pendulum effect that pulled me down entirely and  decreased my motivation.

I started to establish a better cycle for myself to prevent re-entering that phase. I adjusted  my drawing routine to a more mild and consistent pattern, avoiding excessive drawing in  one go but ensuring I worked on a small portion each day to maintain the feel in my hand.  During times when my main obligation are creating pieces under an assigned topic, I  made sure to sneak in some pieces that were purely for myself and fun. This routine  remains my approach, helping me evade burnout and sustain motivation even while  working on my college thesis or living a life with a nine-to-six job.

I still remember the soul-crushing feeling of realizing I needed to invest more time to  regain my former skills and the fear of not being able to do so. However, I now view it as a  crucial experience in my journey as an artist. It helped me figure out the best way to  overcome such situations and equipped me with the knowledge of how to handle this in  the future. I don’t believe any time in life can be labeled as wasted, or any paths we’ve  chosen are useless. In every moment, we must believe it so hard that we are making the  right decision for ourselves and focusing on enjoying the time before it passes on to the  next second, without thinking about what it will cost at the end. We own the courage to  give and risk, the embrace when facing flaws and mistakes. So, why see it as a loss?

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
Hi! I’m Marian Kao, an artist focusing on illustration and animation from Taiwan. Anime, cartoons, and manga have been a huge inspiration for me since I was young. Witnessing those vibrant scenes and characters brought to life by numerous incredible artists, I vividly remember making a wish to become one of them. When it comes to creating, I’m passionate about crafting narrative scenes, working with characters, playing with color, and experimenting with the combination of 2D and 3D. Recently, I’ve been crafting smaller illustration pieces while practicing my skills in directing through making animatics. In the future, my aspirations involve working on animating music videos, directing, and engaging in character design within the animation field.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The first piece of advice I consider important is to create things that make you happy. I always believe that the most unbeatable people are those who enjoy the most. When people are creating things they’re excited and satisfied with, I’m sure others are able to sense that passion, which elevates everything. It’s impossible to make everyone happy with your work, but if you can find joy in what you’ve created, you will be able to go further through the drive you’ve given to yourself and connect with the audience that shares the same vision as you.

Second, always enjoy the process and reflect. In most situations, people tend to value the result more because that is the main part that gets shown to the world. But when the show is over, I think it is always very helpful to rethink what happened during the process of creation, keeping an eye on the problems you encountered, and the solutions you pursued. Perhaps you will think of a better way afterward or realize a new path that leads to more possibilities. If we count the result as one outcome of the journey, why not take the others that you’ve gathered from the process?

Lastly, be a doer, not just a dreamer, and things don’t have to be perfect. We are still on the path of learning, and we will never feel ready. Once you have the idea, try to put them together in your own way, even if they’re just baby steps, and let those small accomplishments make you believe you can eventually do it. As long as you push yourself for the first step, the goal of finishing the piece won’t be too far away.

To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?
As I mentioned, my creation was greatly inspired by the anime, cartoons, and manga I consumed since my childhood. If we dive deeper into this conversation, I must highlight the important role my father played in this. One of my father’s primary hobbies is toy collecting, particularly focusing on the retro anime he enjoyed in his childhood, such as Gundam, Science Ninja Team Gatchaman, and Space Pirate Captain Harlock. By the way, his new interest is Lego.

I vividly recall how, upon finishing the assembly of a new toy, he would show it to me and recount the characters’ stories while showing me the details. My father mentioned that when he was my age, imported toys were very expensive, and though a wealthier friend shared his toys, my father had to handle them delicately because it anyway doesn’t belong to him. Now, as an adult with the means to afford these collectibles, this is how he collects his childhood memories. Whenever guests visit our house, I proudly display my father’s collection covering a wall, each cherished item well taken care of, shining and standing straight behind glass.

With a father like mine, I had an unforgettable and enjoyable childhood. He was the one who watched anime with me and my brother, and he even bought me toy magic wands that I’d seen on the shows. As I grew older and started school, he would record the episodes I missed, and catch up with us on weekends. I’ve always believed my father introduced me to this realm, and that I might have a chance to be a part of that world. My very first step into art was an attempt to draw those characters we watched and shared. To this day, his influence remains strong in my art style and in the field I’ve chosen to focus on. I never regret believing magic could be real, and I am very grateful for how I began my journey of art.

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