Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to DR. Marie Alicia Kramer-Baran, M.D.. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Dr. Kramer-Baran , so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?
I think my empathy began its formation with the example of my parents.
My mother and father were very educated and well off but always seemed to root for the under dog.
They would never hesitate to give to a homeless person.
I also saw my mother struggle in certain aspects in her life that made be empathetic.
Honestly as I write this I think hearing stories about my grandfather who was the top surgeon in DC had some part in this too.
As the stories go he never charged those who couldn’t pay, any clergy of any religion, firemen or police and kept his charges quite low.
I knew I wanted to be generous like him.
His son, my uncle, John Lyons, was a mentor too.
As a surgeon at Dartmouth, he took medical students to Guatemala to provide care.
He also did endless outreach in his community and to other counties in Central America.
I think as a person matures, how can they not develop empathy?
So many people struggle on many levels, whether it be mentally or financially.
The adage “that we need to pick ourselves up from our boot straps” only can be applied to certain cases.
The better phrase is “try walking in someone’s shoes” before you judge.
I see many children and parents who have so much to overcome and they do it often with such grace.
To my own four children, I often say, do not be too proud of your accomplishments for you had so much more than so many.
The birth lottery I think we call it.
I’m still proud, of course, but mostly for the kind people they are !
Lastly and probably most importantly I will ascribe my development of empathy to Jesus Christ,
Now here is someone who teaches nothing but compassion.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m most interested in giving the best medical care to my little patients but just as importantly, support to parents of my patients.
I like encouraging them and telling them funny stories about raising my kids.
I am told I am very honest lol
Often when parents come and are worried about a certain behavior one of their children is exhibiting, I will reply with a story of my own.
I can see them relaxing before my eyes and thinking maybe , “wow, poor Dr Kramer,” lol
One of my passions and exhortations to my parents is to keep their kids off tablets and phones.
Even at the newborn visits, I will bring this up.
To the parents of toddlers, I will tell them when the kids are driving you crazy, opening drawers, climbing on things, this is when neuronal activity is at its zenith.
When kids are vapidly looking at the phone, this is when their brains are not growing.
Take the tablets and phones away from your children please and strongly consider no cell phone until 16!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I think the three most important qualities are resilience, sense of humor, and optimism.
Keeping your eye on the ball and believing if you do, you can make a difference in the lives of those who really need it.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
I think the most impactful thing my parents did was inculcate in their children a lack of snobbery and that we are all the same.
Despite their education and wealth they never looked down on anyone.
They didn’t want us going to elite schools or belonging to country clubs.
They didn’t care what people thought was great too!
They had intellectual curiosity and cared about things of meaning and substance.
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