Meet Mark Hayes

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Mark Hayes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Mark below.

Mark, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
Finding my purpose was not as easy as some may think. I know many people add inspiration for as long as they can remember, but for me, it was almost thrust upon me. In the last couple of years of my television career, I believed that I was doing more harm than good for the community at large, by not voicing my opinion strongly enough over the previous 25 years. As an African-American male in a television newsroom, I began to look at the entirety of my work, and I realized that I had not fulfilled the promise I made to myself when I first began my career as a journalist. I always believed I could make a difference, and be the voice for the voiceless. As it turned out, I was virtually powerless because of the system that allows us to perform, but not offer much else when it comes to sharing the authentic African-American experience. And then the 2016 election hit and race was thrust into the forefront of almost every conversation involving politics in the presidential election. I like many others lost friends and saw many relationships fractured, because of where people fell politically. It was heartbreaking. It was in direct opposition to everything my parents taught me about race. My parents grew up in the segregated South, and never focused on race or made excuses because of their skin color. And they always reminded me that people are people, and you should Judge each person on the content of their character and not on their physical appearance.
In the midst of the presidential turmoil, my family was hit with news that would change our lives forever. Our oldest son, a Howard University graduate, a member of the US Navy, and what we remembered as an absolutely delightful young man was charged and convicted on 16 felony counts in the state of Georgia.
He was subsequently sentenced to 20 years in prison, and I cried like a baby on that dreary February afternoon. I’ll never forget, standing in front of the judge, begging him not to throw my child away, and the enormous feeling of helplessness that had overtaken every inch of my body. From that point on, I promised myself, if I could not help my own family when they needed me most, I would at least try to help others and keep them from finding themselves in the same horrific position of begging for a judge’s mercy. And on that February day 2017, my purpose was born.
I decided to create a way to help parents and their children communicate more effectively. When I took a good hard look at my relationship with my son, I decided that communication was the issue. I was far too much, a dictator, and not a good listener, and one of my biggest issues was a lack of presence. And after that stark realization, I decided I wouldn’t just sit idly by and beat myself up over it. I would do something to move forward and to make a difference. That’s when I decided to create my platform to help parents go from being stuck and frustrated in their communication with their children to confident, well-connected parents of children. They enjoy supporting and remaining close to.
I have to add, that doing this work has brought me more joy and fulfillment than any other work I’ve ever done. It has meaning, it has focus, and it is transformational for those who really want to create a deeper, more meaningful relationship with their children. And what relationship is more important than the relationship between you and each of your children?

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

Varsity Connects is all about creating dynamic connections through communication and it is my passion project that also provides incredible value to families that are needing to learn better communication strategies. As an award winning journalist, I spent nearly three decades bringing news viewers in major cities across the country their news and information of the day including Dallas, Denver, Detroit and Baltimore. When I decided to leave television news, after nearly 30 years, it was an easy transition to teach families the secrets to creating connections that allow people to open up and share their stories with you. That is the same concept, and approach that we take at Varsity Connects to help families come together through dynamic communication. There is nothing more invigorating than helping parents breakthrough in their connections, seeing them connect more deeply on a more intimate level when it comes to communicating. Many people just don’t like to share their innermost thoughts but through meaningful communication, your relationships are enhanced and those relationships develop so much more meaning. And in today’s society fueled by social media And reality television, it’s important to stay connected with our children so they can understand what is, and isn’t reality. They need context to help them sort out the many negative images that they are exposed to on a daily basis.

This work allows me to share my story for good. I can’t tell you the number of times people have said, “Thank you!”, after speaking at various engagements. Obviously, keeping up appearances on television is easy to do, and people never realize that you go through the same struggles that everyone else does. I believe sharing my story empowers those who hold television news journalists in high regard. But even more than that, people understand that the profession does provide a nice standard of living, but yet the scourge of drugs, social media, and negative influence knows no boundaries. I’m always willing to share the fact that the pain that my wife and my younger son endured was just like any other family that’s been through a crisis. It hurts just the same. We cried like any other family watching a loved one struggle, and we’ve never forgotten that feeling of helplessness.

This new career direction allows me to share stories that matter the most to me and families like mine and yours. Just being vulnerable and allowing people inside my story gives many people the motivation they need to take the next step. I couldn’t be more excited about helping others and being able to make a living at the same time doing it. I wake up, excited each and every day looking for new stories to share with the community that I am creating, and to help them reconnect, and in some instances mend honesty in what look like broken relationships through communication.

I conduct regular webinars, sharing secrets of communication and I get a chance to talk to people about their strategies, communicating with their children, and sharing them with others. The village really is incredibly powerful, especially when we all work together toward a common goal. The community gives families a chance to share what works, and what specific issues they are dealing with, in turn helping others. The goal is to head off trouble before it starts with your children. Then, help them avoid the many pitfalls that are waiting for them each and every day from negative influences and influencers. As every parent knows, you can’t address issues you don’t know about and the only way to find out about them is to get your children to open up to you, which is never easy. You can keep up with us at varsityconnects.com nad follow us on social media.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

If you are early in your journey toward a premier in journalism or communications, the three most important skills you must acquire are quite simple.

First, you must be well read and knowledgeable and always willing to continue the learning process. As a journalist, writer, or influencer, as they are called these days, you must stay up on top of the latest news pertaining to your specific subject area. You must Stay on top of all relevant trends and you must have context for the subjects on which you are writing about or advising about. In short, never stop learning! It takes time to become a great writer, and a great storyteller, so the more repetitions you have the more you learn how to tell amazing stories.

Secondly, relationships, relationships, relationships. You probably all heard the phrase, “It ain’t what you know, it’s who you know!” In the broadcast industry that adage has never been more true or more relevant. The industry is so small and so transient that you will see many of the same names and faces more than once throughout the course of your career.
Maintaining and respecting your relationships will help you find new jobs and opportunities and around the community will help you during the course of conducting business. Great sources begin with great relationships. So respect them and protect them always. One of the best things I did during the course of my career, created relationships, that for a long lasting beyond my years in television.

And last, but not least, don’t get into journalism for the money. Typically your entry-level positions pay on a pretty low scale. But those jobs are vital because you need to develop a foundation and understand how to connect with the audience and what good storytelling really looks like. You must also understand the ethical boundaries to which all good journalists will ascribe to. Understanding those tenets only comes with time and experience. There is no substitute for experience, especially in journalism. Although the business has changed greatly over the last decade, the truth will always prevail, and should always be the number one goal of each and every journalist or influencer serving their audience. And while the money is not very good, at the start of your career, the experience you are gaining is invaluable and will serve you throughout the rest of your career. Once you have a solid foundation, success and financial reward will follow.

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

The book that has played the most important role in my development as an entrepreneur, and as a purpose-driven, father, grandfather, and husband is without question, The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. This book was transformational in my development as an entrepreneur. It all began at a Super Bowl event here in Atlanta back in 2018. I was hosting an event that Thursday before the game and was having a bad day, thinking about my eldest son, and almost turned around and decided not to go. But I ended up meeting Mr. Canfield and sharing my story with him. I told him about my son, and that he was recently sentenced to prison. He gave me the book, The Success Principles, and told me that it would change his life. Just send him the book he said. Well, I sent the book to my son and decided to use it to change my life.

First, I lost 50 pounds by picking up some of the transformational tips in his book. I began to meditate and utilize affirmations and prayer like I never have in my lifetime and I just watched the results take hold. Another of the most powerful “principles” for me is the concept of taking 100% responsibility for your success and the quality of life you live. This principle requires you to take full responsibility in every aspect of your life, from physical fitness to your financial success to your emotional well-being. It seems like a simple concept, and it is until you become aware and begin to remove the roadblocks and self-imposed impediments to your success. In other words, get rid of all the excuses holding you back.

I’ve shared the book with many of the people that I love. Everyone raves about the progress they see in their own lives. It is chock-full of simple and easy-to-understand concepts that we can all embrace, especially if we feel like we are in a rut, or looking for purpose and direction.

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