Meet Marla Grant

We recently connected with Marla Grant and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Marla, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

How Did You Find Your Purpose

Bringing souls into this world was destined to be traumatic, but it was only the beginning of an amazing – and excruciating – journey that brought me to my ultimate purpose.

Let’s start at the beginning when at the age of 22 I’m receiving last rites during the end of a pregnancy that was about to go very wrong. I was living abroad with my husband, 5 weeks out from delivery of our first child. I’d had regular checkups but suddenly developed a severe back ache that persisted and soon blossomed into something more ominous.

I had the most severe headache of my life, as if the top of my skull was going to explode. And then I began to lose my sight, lights flashing like tiny stars in my eyes. Back in 1975, living in Australia, we did not have a handy home blood pressure cuff and were so poor, I probably couldn’t have afforded one anyway. If I had, I would have known that my blood pressure had skyrocketed and put me very close to the end of the road. A fast, death-defying race from Manly Beach, across Sydney Harbor and into the capable arms of the teaching hospital staff at Crown Street Women’s Hospital where they immediately went into crisis mode, having recognized a full-blown case of pre-eclampsia.

The last thing I remember before lights out was hearing the doctor say, “This medication will make you feel better” and then the sensation of my head being on fire. Blessed relief after that until two days later I awoke to be told that I had been given last rites and, by the way, you’ve had a C-Section and have a little son weighing a little over 4 pounds.

When I got home, so grateful to be alive with my son, I stood on the balcony of our home, silently appreciating the hill below and a gorgeous view of the Pacific Ocean off in the distance.

I suddenly became aware that everything I could see was shining brightly, like a diamond sparkling with a reflective brilliant light – rocks, the grass, buildings, trees – everything! It was amazing to see, and although I didn’t fully understand what my eyes were taking in, I took this to be a sign that life inhabits everything we observe and that all would be well. This inspiration would contribute to my ability to deal with the challenge that followed within the next year.

In 1976, pregnant with our second child, I warily approached my delivery date, knowing that I was going to try for a natural delivery. The prevailing wisdom at the time was that having one C-section did not necessarily preclude subsequent natural childbirth. However, my baby was in breech position and additional unforeseen complications during the delivery resulted in a catastrophic outcome.

I was in a much smaller, private hospital that did not have robust emergency alternatives and I was forced to endure a very difficult delivery. My perfectly healthy son, deprived of oxygen for too long while trapped in the birth canal, sadly did not survive.
In addition to having had a physically brutal and emotionally traumatic birth, fully aware that my little Baby Shane’s tiny body was not receiving life-giving oxygen and was actively dying, he and I were deprived of the tenderness of touch we both so desperately needed. His tiny body – without my even seeing him – was whisked away. I was sedated and for the next few months, I felt as lifeless as my little son. This was the initiation into what would eventually become my life’s most important work.
After Baby Shane’s death, I felt utterly and completely empty; a cavernous void replacing what should have been the transcendent joy of holding my child. All happy anticipation had been completely swept away in the agonizing hour-long delivery.

Miraculously, just twelve weeks after he was laid to rest, I learned the happy news that I was pregnant again. Exactly one year and one week after my second son had come briefly into this world and gone, I welcomed my third child with open arms, a cherished boy we also named Shane. The intense bond we had was so strong that I was certain he was the same little soul who had tried to be here with me just months before.

This belief became a deep knowing as I watched my son grow into adulthood.

The final confirmation came 37 years after Shane’s birth when I sat for a reading with the highly respected and internationally renowned evidence-based medium, Suzanne Gieseman. She had already channeled two of my children on the other side with undeniable proof they were present when she suddenly asked, “Is there a twin?” She had known no details about my children, so when I divulged information about the infant Shane who had died during delivery, she said, “That’s why I can’t read him on the other side. He’s here!”

As life continued, I began to see that I could remain burdened by a focus on sadness and loss, or I could choose to feel joy and gratitude for the positive aspects of my life.

Four years after my second Shane was born, my fourth child arrived. As I began to emerge from the foggy haze of anesthesia, I was told I had delivered a baby girl. I was giddy with gratitude – finally, a little girl!

From the beginning, Nicole charmed everyone she met. Her light, effervescent personality was a joy to experience and is reflected in the many photos I have of her as a young girl. Over the course of my life, I learned so much from her, even after she passed.

A few months after her seventh birthday, we were shocked to learn that what we thought was possibly stomach flu ultimately turned out to be chronic myelogenous leukemia, an adult leukemia rarely seen in children.

Under the care of her excellent pediatric cancer team, it was determined that her only chance for survival was a bone marrow transplant. Testing of immediate family members soon followed, and Shane was determined to be a perfect match – a near-miracle since there is only a 25% chance of finding a family member who is a match.

Nicole’s treatment was arduous but throughout she remained upbeat and courageous, and after her transplant and a year of post-recovery therapy, she settled into a normal and active life. For six years she was the picture of health until suddenly, just months before her 14th birthday, we got the devastating news that she had relapsed. A few short months later, she died in my arms with her loving family surrounding us.

Her short life in the world of form was over, but her passing served to escalate my spiritual learning, even as I still had many moments of despair, a sense of deep emptiness and the feeling that my heart was a painful open wound.

Nicole had said to me once in a moment of quiet reflection, “Mom, I think the reason we are all here on earth is to help each other.” She certainly did that for me and for many others who came into contact with her. The ways in which she helped me to cope with her passing and gain peace and understanding about the nature of life and the false notion of “death” began before my little girl ever left her body.

I had many amazing metaphysical experiences after she passed, an early introduction to a massive amount of learning about the afterlife. It was just a matter of me being willing to access the part of my mind that was open to the field of possibilities.
But no, life was not finished devising more challenges for me, which brings me to the most recent, unanticipated transition of my youngest son in 2014.

Ryan, just 16 months younger than his sister, Nicole, was like her shadow. Inseparable as little ones, her death was very difficult for him. He was a spiritual, though non-dogmatic, person who often told me how he could feel energy and move it between his hands and could often see orbs of light.

I would later come to believe that he had come into this life too soon, unprepared for its challenges. This proved to be true, for even though Ryan had recently become a father to a little girl he adored, life’s demands and what he perceived as his inadequacies collided, and he ended his earthbound life just a few months before his 32nd birthday.

Ryan’s death was no less painful and devastating than the loss of baby Shane and Nicole, but I experienced it much differently. Because I had worked hard at learning spiritual principles about life and our true nature, I was able to recover more quickly, separating the loss of his physical form from what I knew to be his eternal spirit self.

The questions that came up for me from loss number one to loss number three looked something like this: What is happening?? Why is this happening to me again?? OK, I’m paying attention – this doesn’t happen three times without a reason. I think I know what this is for.

Even though I had studied counseling strategies in college, the death of a child and how to navigate grief are just academic exercises until it’s a lived experience. That knowing was just begging to be shared with others in pain from any kind of grief.
I stopped looking at these events as “my losses” and began to see them almost as gifts for my soul, preparing me. They were the training ground for the work I was here to do.

I left the corporate world and am now spending what I call the final third of my life fulfilling what I know is my life’s purpose. As an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist, I work with parents who have experienced child loss as well as others who have experienced any kind of grief event in their life. I also teach Mental Fitness Mastery as a Certified Positive Intelligence Coach to help others infuse their world with more kindness and empathy and less judgment and stress.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

YOUR GUIDE FROM HEARTACHE TO HEALING
Such a rush! Could there be anything more rewarding and soul-inspiring than seeing someone who has been in deep grief suddenly turn the corner, dropping their allegiance to a broken heart? It often gives me chills because, amazing as it sounds, I can actually see the light of hope replace the shadow of despair in my clients’ faces, even though we work virtually.
Not only do my grief clients feel a positive shift in their perspective and their emotional state, but their friends and family notice it too.

As an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist certified by the Grief Recovery Institute, I work virtually, one-on-one with clients, teaching them the Grief Recovery Method, an evidence based, step-by-step 7-week program that has been taught around the world for more than 40 years. It is not therapy or counseling but absolutely has documented therapeutic benefits. It is effective whether the loss is a loved one, one’s health, a professional career loss, pet loss, divorce or any other event that has left you with a broken heart.

As a mother who has experienced the loss of three of my five children, all from different causes and at different ages, I have an uncommon depth of practical experience that brings credibility and the ability to identify with people dealing with loss. I know how to get past grief, and I know how to help others achieve healing that they may previously have thought was impossible.
It’s important to know that healing from a loss and taking one’s life in a new, more hopeful direction, does not mean that we forget or leave our loved ones behind. It also does not mean that we will never have another sad moment. This is part of life, but it doesn’t have to be at the exclusion of joy, aliveness and quality of life.

MENTAL FITNESS MASTERY

I have been doing grief work since 2016 and two years ago began offering a Mental Fitness Mastery bonus training based on the brilliant Positive Intelligence PQ™ program. It teaches how to quiet the behaviors that sabotage our lives (for instance, think of the ever-present Judge, as well as the Controller, Pleaser and Hyper-Achiever) and enhance our mind’s ability to tap into clear laser-focused thinking, empathy, creativity – all the things that enhance our human interactions and make life worth living.
This program is taught in a group of 5 participants called “pods” to help achieve maximum benefit from collaborating with others who share similar challenges.

My clients consistently confirm that it enhances the grief work we’ve done, because once they realize they don’t have to be committed to sorrow from the past, a big energetic space opens up for them and they can then learn to live a life of ease and flow. As one of my clients said;

“I can’t say enough about how amazing Marla was in guiding me through the Mental Fitness Mastery with PQ™ course. This was an INCREDIBLE class!!!

I came to this program with some prerequisite knowledge in this space. I had built a 30+ year career as a seasoned executive coach, a change leader, and a corporate facilitator. During the course of my career, I attended multitudes of workshops, seminars, conferences, etc., led by some of the top educators and inspirational speakers in the world. Out of all of these educational and developmental opportunities, I can honestly say that Marla and this course were right at the top! I HIGHLY recommend this course to anyone and everyone. It was truly a gamechanger that will enhance practically every element of one’s life.”

Most importantly, I believe that true healing happens at the intersection of spiritual concepts and the world of form. A spiritual orientation can inspire us and give us hope but may be very personal. To some it means awe when contemplating the vastness of the Universe, to others it’s traditional religious beliefs, and still others may simply acknowledge a higher power in themselves. Regardless, we still must do the human work here in the world of form. I have never had a client for which this was not true.
The first step in healing is being heard. I offer a free 30-minute Discovery Consultation so we can get to know each other. It’s easy to book an appointment by clicking this link:

https://InspiredGriefRecoveryConsultationRequest.as.me/DiscoveryConsultation

Another program close to my heart, Helping Children with Loss, is becoming more and more important for children in our care, whether for teachers, parents, school counselors, coaches – virtually anyone who has children in their care. It’s a class for adults that reinforces that grief is emotional and not logical. It’s so important to understand the nature of grief and know how to listen with an open mind. We must encourage children to express their emotions, acknowledge that their feelings are valid and create an atmosphere of openness. Suicide rates, drug addiction and stress are higher than ever among young children. This program was developed to combat this heartbreaking trend.

Typically taught virtually in groups of up to eight, you are invited to learn about upcoming classes by clicking here:

https://InspiredGriefRecoveryConsultationRequest.as.me/HelpingChildrenwithLoss

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

This journey to my life’s purpose has been all about three things:

Personal responsibility, acceptance and willingness.

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY: I had to learn early in my adult life that if I wanted positive change to happen – whether it was healing from loss or growing emotionally and spiritually, I knew I had to take responsibility for making it happen. No one can do these things for us. Life and other people may create challenge for us, but we never have to be victims.
Along with this is my firm belief that we all have the answers and guidance within us. Sometimes we need a guide to help lead us there, but the responsibility for success is ours alone.

ACCEPTANCE: Life in human form is difficult and rare is the person who gets to the end without experiencing turmoil, sadness and loss. Everything changed for me when I learned to stop asking “why”, as in why did this happen, and started asking “what” – what am I meant to learn from this? I accept that life is happening, like scenes from a play, and I’m here to learn from it. Acceptance does not mean condoning troublesome or damaging behavior in others or forgetting loved ones who have passed. It means putting it in perspective, forgiving if necessary and honoring those we love.

WILLINGNESS: Events come and they go, and when we get stuck in the story of these events from the past, insisting that things “should” be a certain way, it’s impossible to move forward. Being willing to not let life events embitter me or continuously focusing on the future I envisioned with my children allowed me to create a different kind of relationship with them. This has been such a blessing as it’s been made very clear to me that they are always near when I need them – and sometimes when I least expect it!

It also allowed me to continue to engage the things in life that give me joy; a lifelong passion for dance, time with my beloved sons and volunteer work as a volunteer medical courier for NMDP.

One of my favorite quotes reflects this:

“Who are you if your story begins to change?
Do not be so loyal to your suffering that
your healing doesn’t stand a chance.”
– Vienna Pharaon

What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?

This question makes me giggle a little bit. Let me explain.

Beginning about six months ago, I started getting serious about being more public with the wisdom I’ve gained from life. I know that my story could inspire a lot of people, but the most important part of what I teach is ultimately the importance of putting kindness, non-judgment and compassion into the world. My work is infused with this message even when I’m teaching clients about grief or mental fitness.

You’d think at the age of 71 I’d have the confidence and commitment to put myself out there and teach these things, and for the most part I do. But a few weeks ago I had a crisis of confidence and even had a coaching session from a colleague which I titled “Do I need to be less of me?” I sometimes think maybe I can’t say EVERYTHING I believe to be true or maybe should not sound so enthusiastic and uncompromising about my message.

I also decided to go into meditation and ask this question. The clear answer I got from my guidance was so instantaneous it was amusing. “How many more children do you need to lose before you get this is what you’re supposed to do?” OK, OK, I get it!

So, I’ve been working with some wonderful conscious marketing coaches to develop my social media presence, blog guest appearances, email marketing, etc. They are world class experts and while they want us to have financial success, they understand the motivation of coaches who do the kind of work I do. Their approach is perfect for me and I’m making progress.

It’s important to invest in the right coaches who are in sync with one’s philosophy. I appreciate being able to pay my bills, but I’m not trying to go viral on TiTok and get a bazillion followers. I just want to help others live an easier, more inspired life, unimpeded by grief or our personal saboteur behaviors that make life difficult for themselves and others. The world needs more people like that.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.inspiredgriefrecovery.com/
• Instagram: @inspiredgriefrecovery
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspiredGriefRecovery/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marlagrant/

Image Credits

Geoffrey Baris Photography