Meet Marsha Aizumi

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Marsha Aizumi. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Marsha, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

When I was about 12 years old, I watched a movie called Sweet November. It was about a young woman who coached men to see the joy in life. I thought that is the kind of job I would love to have. I dreamed of being someone who could help people find fulfillment and joy. As a mother of two adopted children I also dreamed of writing about all I learned, but was told I didn’t have the professional credentials that any publisher would take a chance on. A short time later, magically, a friend, asked me to be on a charter school board . . . I thought, “credentials!” Then the charter school asked me to run a department to help at risk youth graduate from high school while finding their dream. More credentials, but even more important, I found a way to help young people find joy in their lives by pursuing their dreams. Even though I now had more credentials, writing a book faded in the background as I was a working mother with two young children.

A decade later, my oldest child came out as lesbian and then as transgender. I was heartbroken. My child was struggling in school and I felt I couldn’t help him. What a cruel joke that I was a director of a program to help at risk youth graduate and my own child was wanting to drop out of school, because he didn’t feel safe and suffered from severe anxiety from being bullied and harassed. It was a period of much shame, sadness and fear, but this experience gave me the idea of writing a book again, because my initial feelings transformed into pride, joy, gratitude and hope. Through all the challenges, I found a deep purpose to help the LGBTQ+ individuals live authentic lives full of joy. I retired to write my book, because now I had both credential, but I also had a deeper calling to do this work.

I was asked to be on well known national board of directors for parents of LGBTQ+ individuals. I was asked to speak around the country and in Asia because of my book and then I was inspired to start two organizations. Okaeri is for Japanese/Japanese American LGBTQ+ individuals and their families/allies. PFLAG San Gabriel Valley is for Asian and Pacific Islander parents, families and friends, as well as LGBTQ+ individuals. I didn’t know at the time I had found my purpose, but later reading two books, I realized that my heartbreak led me to this work and all I had dreamed from the age of 12 was telling me to follow my heart to this path. My transgender son says, “I am so proud of my mom. She has found her voice and is using it to help others.”

Through this work, I have found meaning, connection, courage and deeper understanding of the words love, gratitude, hope and joy. Through my work, I realize that all I wanted when I first saw the movie, Sweet November, was to make a difference in the lives of others. And so this little 12 year old girl who dreamed of a life of helping others find joy has come full circle and I couldn’t be happier and more fulfilled.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

My days are filled with much work that I love. I am the volunteer executive director for Okaeri. I am on the executive board of PFLAG San Gabriel Valley API. I am on the PFLAG National Alumni Council. I have a column for a Japanese newspaper. I continue to speak around the country, because of my book which is now in the 2nd edition. And I am a consultant for a number of charter school or management groups, specializing in social/emotional learning, leadership development and coaching and Diversity, Equity and Inclusion work. My son says I am more busy retired, then I was working!

Okaeri has been in existence for 10 years and has created 5 biennial conferences that have attracted thousands of participants, 3 support groups for both English and Japanese speaking LGBTQ+ individuals and parents/allies that have been meeting monthly since 2020. Okaeri has a program capturing history of LGBTQ+ individual and parents called Okaeri Voices, symposiums on specific topics like allyship, and most recently a cultural event called Okaeri Matsuri which is a summer fest specifically for our LGBTQ+ individuals and their families which is drawing over 400 people to dance and be in community. We have also just published a book called Letters to Home which will be officially launched in November.

As a board member of PFLAG San Gabriel Valley API, we have 3 pillars. . . . support, education and advocacy.
Our monthly meetings have been going on since 2012 in person and virtually during the pandemic. We have resources for families when their children come out in various API languages. If our monthly support group is too intimidating we will meet one on one with an individual or with a family. We have speakers that come in for education and we march in PRIDE and the Lunar New Year parades for visibility and advocacy. We also send speakers to meetings or conferences to raise awareness in organizations, churches, temples or corporations. I am a co-founder of this group, past President.

I also served on the PFLAG National Board for 10 years, was the co-chair for their Diversity and Inclusion committee and now serve on their National Alumni Council. I helped them to start a virtual support group for the API LGBTQ+ community.

Finally, I was invited to serve on an advisory committee for The Biden Foundation which has given me the opportunity to attend The White House LGBTQ+ Pride event and meet President Obama, along with the Respect for Marriage Act the President Biden signed.

My charter school work centers on leadership development coaching. I am currently on a contract to work with 80 employees of one company to give them what we call a “contract” It is a 1 hour appointment to create a personal affirmation that will replace negative thinking and keep them living above the line. Above the Line is a core concept with the leaders I work with, because we believe that whatever you focus on is what you will attract. I also work with the charter school on infusing social and emotional learning into their travel programs, so their approach is to support the whole student. For example, they have a China program where they not only explore China, but at the Great Wall of China, they have an opportunity to talk about the hero that lives inside of them, since there is a placque at the Great Wall that talks about being a hero.

All the work that I do brings me great joy. I recently heard Vice President Kamala Harris talk about being a joyful warrior. That is what I have always wanted to be, but I never put those words together until now.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Living Above the Line
Following My Heart to Wherever It May Lead
I have no control over others. I can only control myself.

How they can develop and understand these concepts:
o Read books. Some of my favorites: A New Earth by Eckhardt Tolle, The Great Work on My Life by Stephen Cope
o Watch videos. Ted Talks
o Take responsibility rather than blame others and feel like a victim
o Live my contract which is “I am a loving and powerful beacon of light, empowering others to be revolutionary, wholehearted leaders of vision now,”
o Listen to your intuition and follow it as far as it takes you.
o Understand the concept of Living Above the Line (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLqzYDZAqCI)

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

This may seem a bit self-promoting, but honestly the book that has played the most important role in my development was the book, Aiden and I wrote Two Spirits, One Heart. The reason it was so important was because it gave us time to reflect on what we learned through our challenges, so we could take those lesson forward in our activism. It also helped us heal from some of the most difficult moments that could have held us back or stopped us from doing so much of the work we have been able to accomplish. Here are a few of the impactful nuggets of wisdom we have learned from our journey:
1). I am responsible for the life I lead. Not taking responsibility makes me feel like a victim and powerless.
2). Communication and Saying I am sorry keeps hearts connected and spirits open.
3). Reaching out for support and being vulnerable is hard, but it helps us grow and move to the next level of understanding and strength.
4). Courage and Compassion when balanced is where I found my greatest power. When these two areas were out of balance, I found myself ineffective, because I came across too weak, or too harsh.
5). Be grateful and you will attract more things to be grateful for.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.marshaaizumi.com
• Instagram: marshaaizumi
• Facebook: Marsha Aizumi (2.4K friends), Two Spirits, One Heart
• Linkedin: Marsha Aizumi
• Youtube: Marsha Aizumi

Image Credits

Okaeri photo: Scott Oshima

PFLAG parade photo: Robert Petersen