We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Martha Hoffman. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Martha below.
Martha, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
I’ve overcome, or at least, begun to overcome imposter syndrome through receiving coaching with some excellent women. I think people, especially those of us socialized as women, often deprive ourselves the experiencing of feeling success internally, even when we are successful, high performing, intelligent and capable. Through coaching, I unlocked the disconnect between how I was being and how I was feeling. I can remember, shortly into my career, a persistent feeling that I was going to be “found out.” As in, someone would find out I didn’t know it all or I made mistakes too. I’ve come to not only understand, but also internalize that nobody knows it all, everyone makes mistakes and my value isn’t tied to either of those things. With this new understanding I have confidence to know what I know and embrace what I don’t know. I’m able to celebrate my small and big successes and feel pride in my accomplishments, without doubt that I am undeserving.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I’ve worked in Washington DC for the last 20 years in education, specializing in learning differences. I offer coaching to families who are trying to get their child support for their educational needs. My coaching is unique in that I help families advocate for what their child needs, and I also offer parents support to decrease their overwhelm. When I work with families, they get knowledge, skills and mindset coaching. My goal goes beyond improving educational outcomes for children; my coaching focuses on the impact on the whole family.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
When I was beginning my journey, I first had to let go of perfectionism. And it’s one thing to say that, it’s another to really feel into that – to lean into choices that you know might be messy. I had to learn to take action, even when I didn’t know where it would lead. It’s still one of the things I have to consistently remind myself. And then I remember, I don’t admire people because I think they’re perfect, or because they “have it all figured out.” I admire folks who are honest and who have their good days and bad, just like me.
I’ve also learned that you need to do things the way they work for you. And this is different then only doing things that are comfortable. I receive loads of advice and I need to determine what I act on. I don’t want to always choose the easy stuff and I can’t do it just because someone else told me to. I’ve learned that I need to practice being uncomfortable and that discomfort is intensely beneficial. This means, when I get advice, I need to take a beat, and really consider if it’s right for me and why. There’s no template on how to do things, if there were, how boring would it all be!
In line with doing things, my own way, I’ve learned that comparison is a bitch. It’s not helpful. It’s not productive. It’s not motivating, at least, not for me. This is my journey and trying to compare to anyone other than me if fruitless.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
I lived in a state of perpetual overwhelm for many many years. I didn’t know it then, but I kept going and ignored the feeling that I could never get it all done, and I constantly felt like I was forgetting something or running late to something. I remember crying to my husband, saying “I am working way too hard to feel this unsuccessful.” I’ve had an ADHD diagnosis since childhood so I thought that was why I felt this way. Since then, I’ve learned how overwhelm feels in my body and now when I feel that, I know I need to pause. I am someone who needs open space in her calendar, in her home, in her journal. I need space and I need to pause often. If I have a particularly full day or weekend, I intentionally plan downtime after. If I have a lot to complete for work at once, I chunk it and plan breaks. I am not willing to power through anymore. That’s not to say I do not work hard, but I know I can do meaningful work and take care of myself at the same time.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://groundedlearningdc.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/groundedlearning/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/martha-hoffman-4a977264/
