Meet Mary Alice Stephens

We were lucky to catch up with Mary Alice Stephens recently and have shared our conversation below.

Mary Alice, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

I was a late bloomer when it came to self-esteem and confidence — I didn’t start to build them until I was 45. Growing up as the sixth of seven kids, I always felt “less than”: less interesting, attractive, athletic, funny — you name it. I craved validation, believing that if I excelled at something or won approval, I’d finally feel worthy.

When I discovered alcohol at 16, it felt like a magic bullet. Suddenly, I was “Fun Mary,” witty, social, confident — or so I thought. For 30 years, I relied on alcohol to soothe, amplify, or escape. But the hangovers, shame, and blackouts always erased that false confidence, and eventually my drinking threatened my marriage and family.

On August 8, 2011, at 45, I quit drinking. It was terrifying — I felt like that awkward girl all over again, raw and exposed without alcohol to hide behind. But through support, especially in AA, I learned to face life authentically. That’s when true self-esteem began to take root.

Now, nearly 60 with 14 years of sobriety, I know self-confidence doesn’t come from validation, substances, or achievements — it comes from facing your challenges, accepting yourself, and growing stronger through the process.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

For most of my career, I worked as a television writer and producer for shows on HGTV, Food Network, and other channels, covering topics like travel, cooking, history, and home improvement. While I enjoyed that work, I longed to write in my own voice and share my real-life stories. After I became sober, I gained the wherewithal to pursue that dream, and my sobriety memoir, *Uncorked: A Memoir of Letting Go and Starting Over*, was recently published by Sibylline Press. A huge bucket list item for me. It hit number one on Amazon’s new releases for both alcoholism recovery and midlife self-help.

Now my focus is to give Uncorked wings to find the people who need it—not only those seeking recovery, but also their loved ones, and those wanting to transform their lives from the inside out.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Observing – I have always been a keen observer, which has helped me become a better student, athlete, professional, friend, and mother. It has also significantly influenced my writing. Observing people’s body language, noticing smells, sights, tastes, textures, and sounds, and listening to conversations—these are all elements of good storytelling.

2. Seeking out experts – there are so many people to learn from, whether you’re trying to find a job or get sober, and it’s easier than ever to connect with others. Starting with my first job search after college, I requested fifteen-minute informational interviews (and I stuck to my time limit unless they offered to extend). In my experience, people enjoy being helpful, especially when you ask about themselves: How did you get your start? What’s the best/worst part of your job? What advice would you give me? What’s next for you? Those interviews not only helped me build my network but also made me more comfortable talking with strangers in positions of authority, which boosted my self-confidence, which helped with everything.

3. Being a good person – people want to be around those who are trustworthy, ethical, and responsible. And it doesn’t hurt to be fun.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

My parents taught me to be self-sufficient, that if I wanted something, I should go after it. They were both young during The Great Depression and taught me that opportunity doesn’t come knocking. That attitude has given me a hunger, a drive, to make things happen for myself. I put myself out there, and if I get a no, I try again and get creative. Maybe it wasn’t the right goal, company, or person. Sometimes I’ve had to pivot and reevaluate, but I’ll get it done.

My parents also gave me the gift of conversation, an essential skill for living a rich life. Not only did they teach me to share myself with others through good storytelling, but more importantly, to ask insightful questions and follow-up questions, listening keenly to the answers without judgment.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Headshot: Hilary Knight
(all others property of Mary Alice Stephens)

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