Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Mary Balistreri. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Mary , we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
My struggle with self-esteem goes back to those negative messages from my childhood. “You are dumb or fat or ugly or”…fill in the blank. They stuck in my brain and reflected into my soul until they became my thoughts about myself. I know I am not alone in this. So many people struggle with negative self-talk. These mean-spirited attacks on yourself can become a spiral of thoughts that waste our energy and keep us from living a full life.
I have always been one of those people to whom everyone tells their story. Whether it be on buses, waiting in line for coffee, or even on the playground when I was only 12 years old, people have been drawn to my empathy. They can read it on my face. They see it when I meet their eyes. They know I am one of those people who listens, cares, and puts others’ needs before my own. As an adult, I remember hearing repeatedly, “You can’t love anyone else until you love yourself” and it wounded me deeply. I felt great love for so many people, but I did not love myself. Wasn’t my love for others real? I was my own victim, trapped in the jail of my own mind. The emotional pain felt as real as physical pain.
I knew I needed to change something to break out of this prison. As a writer – I was a reporter in the early years of my career – I learned to use the power of words on myself. This began in the 1990’s. I used journaling to acknowledge the things in my life that hurt. Writing about my thoughts and feelings regularly helped me realize that for me it was easier to help someone else and listen to their struggles than it was to accept my own hurts and talk about it when I felt ignored, taken for granted, or unloved.
As my resume grew with experiences, a friend who was a career coach instructed me to write down all of the things I had accomplished. She told me to start making a list of everything I contributed to my work, and then she helped me categorize the actions into skills that became part of my resume. This exercise showed me what I could do. It boosted my confidence. I was not dumb!
Later, as a talent and leadership coach, I took all of the personal assessments I now give to clients to help them with their own self-improvement. I was on a journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love. I loved it! I started to understand myself and the reasons I act and react the way I do. I found out I am not too anything; I am just me.
While studying Conversational Intelligence, I learned how to redirect those negative messages. Years of working on my self-image by journaling and standing up for myself made me ready for the next step. Acknowledge the negativity. Is it true? Is it something that is really happening, or is it a story I told myself out of fear? Replace that thought with something positive and true.
Finally, I learned to be grateful. Every day now, I look around at the world I created for myself and thank the universe for my blessings. My blessings are many, and I am one of them. I now love myself and I thank the world for me. When I work with my clients, I help them develop their mindset so they raise their self-esteem and build confidence.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I am Mary Balistreri, the Mindful Business Coach, and the CEO & President of MBT More Business Today LLC. Through my business, I offer a variety of coaching and professional development services to individuals and organizations focused on harnessing strengths to grow their talent as leaders and business developers. I use emotional intelligence (EQ) and Conversational Intelligence (CIQ) to help people first manage their self-talk and mindset, and then foster a better understanding of how to communicate with other people.
My passion is for helping people discover themselves and who they can be. As a Certified Conversational Intelligence (CIQ) Coach, I believe that quality conversations are essential to developing success in business, as a leader, and as a person. To better further my own abilities and answer the needs of my clients, I studied culture, DEIB, and became a Certified Diversity to Belonging Facilitator.
Through my business, MBT More Business Today, I offer:
• Business, leadership, and group coaching,
• Facilitation services of strategic planning, conversations about culture, conversations about race, and DEIBJ
• Speaking and workshops on variety of topics.
As a woman entrepreneur, I am constantly learning from other business owners. The commitment to one another that women business owners in particular exhibit fills me with awe and admiration. Therefore, I founded the Wisconsin chapter of the National Association for Women Business Owners (NAWBO www.nawbo.org). This community embraces the idea of collaboration over competition. At every opportunity, I witness women supporting women.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Listening skills are vital to success of any kind. I am an extravert which means I love to talk and I process what I am thinking while saying it out loud. Many people are the opposite. I learned to practice listening by asking questions and waiting for the answer. Rather than trying to jump in and solve someone’s problem, I ask another question so they have a chance to further explain. And then I pause. When you pause, you will be surprised at what you learn when the other person in the conversation fills in the space. Wisdom comes from everywhere, we just need to listen.
Flexibility. Throughout my life, things change just as the wind changes its intensity and direction. I have a natural skill of going with the flow when changes happen. However, I needed to work to see the positive things a change can bring rather than focusing on the negative. One prompt for developing this skill is to ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen? And then, ask yourself what is the best that can happen? The first gives your anxiety a place to go and the second focuses your thoughts with positive energy.
The third skill is strategy. I pull together the many ideas floating around in my head to solve problems and create strategies that lead to success. This skillset is especially important in business. It is one of the reasons that business owners and professionals who are building a book of business value my coaching. You can cultivate the strategy skill set by trusting your own ideas and listening to the ideas of others. Remember, wisdom is all around you.
How would you describe your ideal client?
An ideal client for me is someone who is ready for self-discovery. In fact, the most important quality for any coaching client is the ability to be coached. I believe in the concept of timing. An individual or organization may want to improve, but may not be ready to truly examine themselves. A person or group who is open to examining why things are the way they are, why they act in a certain way, and how to make changes to improve is the perfect client for me.
My areas of expertise have been well received by lawyers and law firms looking to improve their books of business and to build strong leaders. I work with many entrepreneurs on creating strategies for their businesses and developing leadership skills. Additionally, I am committed to non-profit organizations and the individuals who dedicate their lives to them. For this group of people, I offer a special discount of 15% off any package.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marybalistreri/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9hq2qm_9RZ300MB946IvIQ
Image Credits
Professional photo by The Refinery Photo Studio
