We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Mary Finlayson. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Mary below.
Mary, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
When I was married many years ago my husband and I weren’t getting along and I was missing the intimacy and connection. When I asked him about it he said I wasn’t very good at the physical part of it. Which sounds terrible but I was excited I just had to learn how to be better at it. I didn’t think it would be hard to, know read a couple of books and we would be back on track. So I set about reading everything could to learn how to be better at intimacy and I started sharing with my friends. It turned out a lot of them didn’t have any more knowledge then I did and they were having the same issues in their marriages that I was having. Ie realized that this was what I was meant to do to help women and couples have amazing sex for life. I am a certified Sexologist who coach singles and couples to have empowered and full freedom in their intimate life.I help to deshamify the stories they have been told or carried through trauma and past relationships. I help them create embodied connection with their partners.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m Mary, a certified sexologist and intimacy coach, and the founder of Moments by Mariella — a coaching practice dedicated to helping individuals and couples experience deeper connection, lasting desire, and a more joyful relationship to their pleasure.
My journey into this work has been personal and powerful. I’ve always been fascinated by the ways intimacy shapes our lives, and after years of personal growth and professional training — including certification through the Somatica® Institute and the American Board of Sexology — I realized this wasn’t just a curiosity, it was a calling. What lights me up most about this work is witnessing people shift from feeling stuck or shut down to feeling confident, turned on, and fully expressed.
What makes Moments by Mariella special is how deeply personal and shame-free the experience is. This isn’t clinical. It’s not textbook. It’s raw, real, playful, sometimes awkward — and always grounded in compassion, consent, and embodied learning. I bring both science and soul to every session, blending neuroscience, somatic tools, and intuitive coaching to help people explore what truly turns them on — emotionally, physically, and energetically.
Right now, I’m especially excited to be offering my signature 3-month private coaching program: The Intimate Liberation Experience — designed for individuals or couples ready to reignite passion, heal from relational wounds, and create the kind of intimacy that lingers long after the bedroom. I’m also launching a new group experience called You, Me, Us, focused on creating connection rituals and communication tools for couples. I also offer private one one one coaching sessions for my clients who want a more privacy.
Whether it’s through 1:1 coaching, group programs, community events like Erotic Paint Night, or my podcast Unbuttoned with Mariella, my mission is the same: to de-shame sex, celebrate pleasure, and help people create the kind of moments that feel unforgettable — because they’re deeply real.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back, the three qualities that have most shaped my journey are vulnerability, embodiment, and the ability to hold nonjudgmental space.
Vulnerability – Being willing to show up honestly, even when it’s messy, has been essential. This work invites people to explore parts of themselves that are often hidden or shamed — and I can only guide others into those places if I’ve done the same myself. Vulnerability has allowed me to connect deeply with clients, and with my own truth. For anyone just starting out, I’d say: don’t be afraid to be seen. Your realness is your resonance.
Embodiment – So much of intimacy and healing happens beyond words. Learning to listen to my body — and teaching others to do the same — has completely transformed my coaching. Studying somatic modalities like the Somatica® Method taught me that presence, breath, and sensation are powerful tools for change. If you’re beginning this work, invest in practices that bring you into your body — it’s where all the magic lives.
Holding Nonjudgmental Space – This is probably the most important skill I’ve cultivated. People blossom when they feel safe and accepted. Creating a container where clients can bring their fears, fantasies, shame, and joy without judgment is at the heart of what I do. For anyone new to this work: practice listening more than fixing, and get curious instead of making assumptions. Safety and transformation go hand-in-hand.
My biggest piece of advice? You don’t have to have it all figured out to be a powerful space-holder. Keep learning, keep growing, and most importantly — keep coming back to your own turn-on and truth. That’s the best foundation you can build from.
What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?
The biggest area of growth for me over the past year has been stepping fully into this work and releasing the weight of others’ judgments around it.
Choosing to become a sex and intimacy coach — and to talk openly about pleasure, desire, and the very human things most people keep hidden — has been incredibly empowering… and deeply confronting. While my parents have been beautifully supportive, I’ve also faced judgment and discomfort from other family members, and from society at large. Let’s be honest — talking about sex still makes people squirm. Especially when it’s done by a woman, publicly, and without shame.
But the more I’ve leaned in, the more I’ve realized that this work isn’t just about me — it’s about liberation. Every time I choose to speak openly, to take up space, and to invite others into these conversations, I chip away at the shame that so many people silently carry. That’s what keeps me going.
This past year, I’ve grown in my ability to hold both truth and tenderness — to stand confidently in who I am and what I believe in, even when it makes others uncomfortable. I’ve learned to trust that the people who are meant to find this work will feel it in their bones — and that their transformation is worth facing a few raised eyebrows.
At its core, this growth has been about choosing authenticity over approval, and allowing my mission to be louder than my fear.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://momentsbymariella.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/momentsbymariella/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Momentsbymariella
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-finlayson-6b3303294/
Image Credits
I don’t need to give credit but it was at an event I was speaking at. Due to the nature of my work I don’t take any photos with my clients
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
