Meet Mat Hayes

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Mat Hayes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Mat below.

Mat, appreciate you making time for us and sharing your wisdom with the community. So many of us go through similar pain points throughout our journeys and so hearing about how others overcame obstacles can be helpful. One of those struggles is keeping creativity alive despite all the stresses, challenges and problems we might be dealing with. How do you keep your creativity alive?

Creativity is my religion. At our core, we are Creator. If we’re not creating, we’re doing a disservice to ourselves, our family, our friends, and the entire world. Creativity is an energy that we all possess. It’s a vibration that we can either express or suppress. The latter can be toxic to our physical and mental states. To keep my inner Creator accountable, I make sure to surround myself with people who are in touch with their inner Creator. This fellowship spurs greater energy between Creators, increasing the impact of your spirit.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

My ultimate goal is to create space for those whose space has been diminished or removed. In creating space for others, they then create space for others, and so on. THIS is how we fix the world. I do this through my film and play scripts, as well as through my chart topping podcast, The Fagnostic Podcast. For two seasons I have had fiery conversations with thought leaders and faith voices in an attempt to hold space for healing from religious trauma. I am currently working on getting Season 3 produced. I’m constantly writing, rewriting, brain storming, advocating, challenging, seeking, asking, and demanding the world be more equitable for all. I serve as Vice Chair of The Del Shores Foundation where we work to elevate southern LGBTQ writers who may not have access points to getting their word produced. I also am a member of SEEDS which is the governing organization for ethics in egg donation and surrogacy. I am a fierce advocate for LGBTQ family building. If you have the means and the heart – I have the solution. Check out more at mathayes.com or on IG @hayesonit.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Commitment, curiosity, and creativity.

Action is the cure for anxiety. As Creator, we all possess the energy of creativity. If it’s not being expressed, it’s stirring up in our bodies. Use your hands, your mouth, your feet, just do something that releases! Write, cook, sing, walk, garden, play. There’s power in our extremities!

Always question. There’s a reason we use the saying “trust your gut.” Curiosity is the most interesting thing about you. Often times religious and corporate influences make us feel like questioning is harmful to the culture. But curiosity is what advances culture. Never settle!

I’ve spoken on creativity already, but I can’t say it loud enough – YOU ARE CREATOR. Everything you do is sacred. What matters to you? What impact do you want to have? What is your legacy?

What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?

I’m currently in my “ctrl + alt + delete” era. In the matter of a few weeks, I’ve lost nearly everything: my jobs, my car, and my marriage. In the past, I would have let this completely destroy me. Financial stress can be the most debilitating. A marriage built on lies can cause you to never trust anyone. Losing the things that bring stability to life can make you feel like you’re falling into an abyss. But thanks to amazing mentors in my life (Del Shores, Jeffrey Marcus, Barbara Deutsch, Jessalyn Gilsig), I’m able to see that losing all this stability has set me up for OPPORTUNITY. It’s possible to have hope amidst total loss. Pay attention to who you surround yourself with, what media you consume, and how you talk to yourself. It all matters on a deeply spiritual level.

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