We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Matthew May. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Matthew below.
Matthew, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
My resilience originally comes from watching my parents work hard, and then eventually being a witness to those rewards. Looking back, I can now see when my parents may have been struggling to raise four kids, manage a household, and to keep food on the table. They did a great job, and I am so grateful for the care they took in teaching us good ethics, keeping our priorities in order, and being resilient when life becomes difficult. I strive every day to be like my parents!
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you? The one thing I would like my readers to know is that if they undergo a difficult set back in life, they have the power and ability to turn it around through positive thinking, living with purpose, and staying focused on the end goal. Of course, the first step is to set that goal. Hopefully, as an adult, you will already have this goal in focus. But in a lot of cases, most people are afraid to take that first step. It’s so incredibly important to have faith and to trust that the universe will follow through with what is in your heart. I have learned that the universe will respond to my thoughts and actions. Most people call this ‘karma’. (You ‘get’ what you ‘give’). In other words, you will get what you put out there in the universe. If you’re negative, complaining, and grumpy all the time, I guarantee that your life is probably difficult and full of struggle, and the people who are around you are probably not the best choice for you.
In my case, as a chef, I had already worked in some great restaurants, hotels, catering companies, bed and breakfasts, and convention centers up and down the mid-Atlantic coast. I had the great privilege of working with many talented chefs and cooks along the way. I did my very best to learn as much as I could from them. I think the greatest life-lesson I learned was to work with a ‘sense of urgency’, and not to waste my steps. If I was walking to the other side of the kitchen for something, I made sure I didn’t go empty handed. This not only helped the kitchen operate more efficiently, but it also helps your fellow co-workers as well.
In 2005, I began working in corporate dining services, where I managed the food and beverage operations inside banks, investment firms, multimedia firms, and private schools. In 2011, I was the culinary director at a prominent private school in Virginia Beach, Virginia. This
was such a unique opportunity for me as I have never been responsible for feeding children before. This private school was grades pre-k through 12, and trying to satisfy the tastebuds of this vast age difference was not an easy task. Once a month, I would set up an interactive display where I would teach, explain, and often give samples of something in the culinary world. We called this ‘Educational Seasonings’, and it was such a pleasure to interact with these kids. In 2011, I sadly lost this job through no fault of my own.
This unfortunate circumstance of losing a job was just the beginning of many more to come. At first, I was angry and couldn’t understand why this was happening to me. I eventually ended up having to walk away from my home of 9 years, filing bankruptcy, rehoming my three beautiful dogs, putting
everything in storage, and moving in with my best friend. After several months, I was able to move into my own apartment in Virginia Beach Town Center.
But sadly, this pattern of losing my employment would continue for another two years. I eventually gave up my car and would rent a vehicle only when needed. After a lot of soul searching, reading, and praying, I eventually understood that the universe (God) was guiding me (or forcing me) to get out of my comfort zone and rely on my own God-given talents to become self-sufficient. I began catering small parties and teaching small cooking classes in my apartment to generate some income. My cooking classes were going well and continued to grow! I created a web site and focused on better utilizing social media to generate more awareness of my cooking classes.
Eventually, I was contacted by a ‘headhunter’ through LinkedIn, seeking a general manger for a corporate dining account inside an investment firm in Norfolk, Virginia. This was a blessing as it was the highest paying job I would ever have! While staying focused on my corporate responsibilities, I also continued teaching my cooking classes once a month on Saturday nights. I also began infusing sea salts that I would use in my classes, and then would sell at the end of each class. The number of people in my classes had evolved up to 20-30 people on a Saturday night. I hired an assistant to pour wine and help me clean up during and after each Saturday night class.
Even though I could afford to stop teaching cooking classes at this point, I learned an invaluable ‘concept’ from a customer in a coffee shop that I worked at while trying to get back on my feet. To back up just a little bit, one of my responsibilities at this coffee shop was to bake some delicious goodies! I would bake fresh muffins, scones, breakfast breads, cookies, and
some simple desserts. I also created a couple of granola bars, and even labeled them with my own label and name. The specific customer at the coffee shop I mentioned earlier said that he “noticed what I was doing”. His invaluable advice was to “create my own sense of gravity”! Of course, I was thinking “what the heck does that mean?” He said I need to create a reason for people to come around me, and continue to give them a reason to stay around me. This was my motivation to continue doing my classes, even though I knew I could afford to stop. But if I were to stop, I would lose this ‘gravity’ as people eventually would lose interest in following me on social media. So, I continued the hustle!
Six and a half years after I began teaching my classes, and about four and a half years as GM of this corporate dining account at the investment firm in Norfolk, I had decided it was time to walk away from my corporate job! Steadily, my classes continued being more successful and my salts were selling very well. I had faith, motivation, and continued to stay focused on my end goal. Even though I honestly have no idea what my end goal is actually going to be, I strive every day to do better than I did yesterday, stay positive, and focus only on happiness and doing good things for myself, community, and the world around me.
I now teach dozens of Saturday night group classes and hundreds of private cooking classes every year! Some of my private class options include my: “Ultimate Cooking Class for Two”, “Private Bourbon Class for Two”, “Fresh Pasta Making Workshop for Two”, “Family Night”, and “Mommy & Me” or “Daddy & Me”. I now have about 28 flavors of sea salts, smoked peppers, and sugars. In addition to my salts, I now make a line of artisan oils for cooking, dipping, finishing, and salads. I also make flavorful infused sugars for baking, bartending, and anything else your imagination can come up with! I am eternally grateful for the hardship that I experienced, although, at the time, it was very difficult and painful. But now I understand the powerful force of the universe! I continue to create new infusions that you might only be able to experience in my fun interactive cooking classes in Virginia Beach Town Center. Come see me and have a deliciously fun
time! www.matthewmay.org
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The three most impactful qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge in my journey has to be:
- Working with a ‘sense of urgency’ as it instills the importance of best utilizing and managing your time and teaches you to prioritize your responsibilities.
- Stay focused on achieving your goals. Don’t allow yourself to get distracted by menial things or situations. Surround yourself with positive people and let go of negativity.
- Reinvest in yourself! In the beginning, it might not make sense to spend what little money you have in your checking account on your new business, but you must take that leap of faith and BELIEVE that you will succeed. For example, if you have to make a choice of spending your money on food for you and your family or reinvesting it in your business, I will make the choice to reinvest. And here is why: Reinvesting in yourself tells the universe that you BELIEVE in yourself and your goal. Once you tell the universe (God) that you BELIEVE and truly expect to be successful, the money will eventually come, you will make sales, and you will have the money to buy food for you and your family. Whether you think you will succeed or think you might fail; either way… you are right. So be mindful of your thoughts, as they are creating your future.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development? The “Secret” by Rhonda Byrne has changed my life. Find it. Read it. And read it several more times after that!
The most important ‘nugget’ of information has to be that your thoughts control your destiny. Whether you think you will succeed or you think you might fail; either way you are right. So be mindful of your thoughts, as they are creating your future.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.matthewmay.org
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/matthewmayorg/
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/matthewmayorg/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-may-03126832
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@matthewmay413?feature=shared
