We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Max McDowell a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Max, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
Since I was a child I was consistently told that we all have a purpose to serve on this earth. Growing up in a Lutheran household with sober alcoholic parents I could clearly see the purpose my parents served. I once told my mom that being a sponsor in AA was her “God job”, and I feel it still holds true even though I don’t believe in God anymore. We each have a purpose, a “God job” as my 7 year old self would say, that is unique to you and your specific set of skills and interests. If my parents have something so personal and impactful to provide to the world around them to improve their own lives as well as the lives of others, why shouldn’t I have a similar position to uphold? For a long time I believed it was being an emotional support for others. Due to my upbringing and environment I thought my purpose was to help hold my friends up in times of strife. Seeing my parents supporting others in their recovery was incredibly impactful for me in how I saw the world. I believed that every peraon had good in them and that sometimes what we need is someone to help them see that light within them. In middle school and high school I would speak to my friends about resources they could find if they needed them as well as being a sympathetic shoulder to cry on. Over the years I came to realize that although this was something I was well versed in I didn’t have the same tools my parents had to keep myself safe from predatory people and their accompanied energies. This in turn, admittedly, left me open to those I believed to be friends to take advantage of me and abuse me. The sense of purpose I had fell away and because the source of a great deal of pain for me in my formative years. Little did I know this would set me on my true path to discovering my purpose.
After spending a number of years being in and out of tumultuous relationships and situations and going through a variety of forms of therapy I returned to something I still hold dear: dance and movement. There are a number of photos I look back on with a smile seeing myself dancing at a wedding to the beat of my own drum or recalling singing and dancing in the living room with my parents to ABBA. I always had a love of dance and performance but it didn’t truly take until I was about 11 years old when the Children’s Theater Company started sending an artist to our school to teach us the basics of the stage. We learned about writing stories, performance and memorization, and creating costumes and set pieces to later put on performances for all our friends and family to come see. I immediately took to it like a fish to water; I wanted to be in every show at school and asked my parents to bring me to plays and musicals whenever we could go.
Throughout my Middle School and High School years I would work behind the scenes building and painting sets while I was busy playing sports and would audition for shows when I wasn’t playing for a team. I reveled in the opportunities I had to be in the ensemble in nearly all the musicals we put on. I realized that musicals were my favorite to participate in primarily because I could sing, dance, and act in multiple roles as an ensemble member and had felt I found my niche in stage when I wasn’t engrossed in my technical theater experience. The more art I produced the deeper my appreciation grew for the art form. I loved how everything came together to tell an essential story for people to consume and chew on long after they left the theater. This in turn spurred a need in my heart to continue to create art on stage.
While I was away at Luther College I was enthralled by lighting design and quickly became a go to for students and faculty alike for projects on campus. This love was cultivated further over the summer of 2012 while I was shadowing a designer at Hoover Auditorium doing our summer set. I discovered I loved being behind the scenes and aiding in the story telling through color theory and color motifs and was drawn to explore it further. After taking a break from school I ensured I was a part of the stage crew when I started attending Century College. While I was a student worker in their shop I was referred to an Expo at The Guthrie Theater to find work and possibly Kickstart my career as a lighting designer as well as a set builder. Little did I know I would establish a connection to a troupe that would become a pilar in my theatrical and personal life.
It wasn’t until I stumbled upon a small theater in Nordeast Minneapolis called Minnsky Theater (now Thriple Threat Entertainment and NerdDoms Universe) that I truly felt I had found a home for myself. I fell in love with their off the beaten path troupe when they did their annual PRIDE show “Under the Rainbow” in 2017. It was the well known story of “The Wizard of Oz” only this time Dorothy was discovering her sexuality with her rag tag team of queer friends with people flying through the air, doing strip teases via chair or pole dance, belly dance and even fire spinning! It stirred something deep within me and was instantly drawn to this wonderful group of people. I knew “this was it” for me and immediately applied for a position as a lighting designer. This troupe which performed parody plays known as “Vaudevicals” and twists on ballet with Burlesque and Circus as their primary dance form had stolen my heart and opened my mind to a whole new side of theater I had never fathomed. I was enraptured by the drastically different style they had refined and was keen on becoming a part of the family that had been established there. As it turned out, they also taught classes at a neighboring studio. This sparked a part of me I had long since forgotten; my love of dance.
I dove head first into any class that peaked my interest. I started with burlesque and quickly found my way to lyra, and soon branched out into pole, chair, and eventually belly dance. I loved the different forms of movement and how most numbers we performed told a story. Some of them were purely for entertainment but the ones we did that told a story held me firmly. It was inspiring seeing fellow performers, especially those who were physically disabled, perform numbers that showed their strength and resilience in the face of adversity. It made me see that I didn’t want to perform just for the sake of performing. I wanted the art I created to make people THINK about the lessons or story long after they left the theater.
For the most part as my stage persona half of what I put out there are numbers that should make you think. Don’t get me wrong, the other numbers are certainly fun to do, but there’s something to be said about creating numbers that makes people think or feel something other than being entertained. I’ve performed numbers about heartbreak, about feminist history, about being genderfluid, and about sexual assault and coming out the other side of it all. Working on numbers like these are taxing emotionally but I’ve recognized it also helps provide a voice to those hard emotions we don’t always like to feel that are monumental for us to experience and process.
For example, when we did “Hair” the musical at Century College 50 years after it was originally released on Broadway there was a song called “Waking in Space” that was deeply impactful for me to participate in. I got to grace the stage naked and dance gracefully with strips of sheer white fabric dangling from the batons with a few other cast mates who all had different bodies. The song was intended to show that society as a whole doesn’t wish to see beauty for what it is; that we’d rather repress that side of ourselves and regulate one another’s beauty than share it with the world. It was an incredibly vulnerable and beautiful experience for me and I was proud to share myself so authenticly with the audience. Some consider what I did as self objectification but I found it incredibly empowering to stand naked, literally and figuratively, on stage and feel strong, beautiful and true to myself. When I expressed this to a neighbor she confided in me that she was inspired by my confidence and wanted to live more fearlessly amd genuinely because of my actions. It didn’t really hit me until then that I can inspire someone like that without having someone see my work. A kind of work that constantly metamorphic with my life’s journey.
This past year has been filled with many significant changes for me. I am suddenly a single person living alone and am meeting myself for the first time. I’ve known over the years that dance and movement have been a necessary staple for me in keeping myself safe and healthy but I had no idea how important it was for me in remaining joyful and fulfilled. I have come to realize this year that my life has been leading me in a direction that I admittedly should have seen coming: becoming an instructor. During the beginning of my separation my trapeze instructors was physically struggling and sometimes needed a body double to assist in the lesson that day. I would get up in the trapeze and allow them to point out various muscle groups that were activated while I held the pose and we would alternate discussing tips for techniques to make the skill easier to achieve. It was incredible being considered a teachers aid, to be someone who was knowledgeable enough to talk things through while executing the myriad of moves we were learning that day and throwing out tips and other recommendations to new and experienced students. It made me realize that this is a path I’m meant to be on and am presently in the process of starting my journey to become an instructor.
My step mom recently told that “your gift is not yours, it is meant to be shared with others” and it took me until the next day to realize she meant by that. I was getting my hair cut and a woman in her 60’s came up to me and asked me where I danced and what time of dance I do. I told her a little more about myself and asked her if she did any movement herself and if she was interested in taking a class from me sometime. When she replied with “I’m too old for that” it made my heart sink. You’re never too old to learn something new and do things that are old for your body. I the proceeded to tell her a story of someone I know who began her Burlesque journey in her 60’s after starting her transition and expressed how inspiring her story is to me. I then looked at her and said “you’re never too old to learn something new, it’s about a matter of willingness to learn as you grow older.” She seemed emboldened by the story and agreed that I was absolutely right and took down my email to take a class from me at a later date. This interaction made me realize that there needs to be greater accessibility when it comes to movement and that dancing is for EVERY body and is doable with the correct adaptations for one’s body. Dance should be accessible for all: the spry, the plus sized, the old, the young, and the differently abled. My purpose is to be an advocate for movement with all body types and music styles so all are welcome in dance/movement spaces. Dance is for everyone and I’m here to become the instructor people deserve.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I have been involved in theater since I was 10 or 11 years old. At first, the Children’s Theater Company taught me and my fellow classmates in elementary school about the stage and writing stories and creating a character. We would put on 2 shows a year, including our final performance being on the CTC stage! From there my love of theater exploded. While I was in middle school I helped build and paint sets whenever I was playing a sport and would be in the shows the rest of the year. In high school however I auditioned for every show and helped with tech on nearly every perfomance. I even did a little work with the Rosetown Playhouse as a stage hand and later as a young adult instructor for summer classes working with kids 5-12 years of age once I was out of high school.
By the time I got to college I was more invested in building and painting sets as my work study than performance, in part because I wasn’t making it into the casts. Instead I took any dance and movement course I could sink my fingers into and I even joined the competitive ballroom team while I was at Luther College and fell in love with dance sport. While I was dancing every chance I could at school the summer of 2012 opened my eyes to the love of lighting design. During my time shadowing our designer at Hoover Auditorium I quickly came to love the ambiance and influence lighting and color have on performance. Upon my return to Luther that fall I was taking any opportunity I could to either run the light board for performances or to create my own designs for student and faculty shows held on campus. After an unfortunate hiatus from the arts I returned more determined than ever to the stage in 2017 in Hair at Century College and joined the work study program there the following fall. Once more I was auditioning for performances at the college while also working on the sets and assisting the lighting designer behind the scenes. Soon enough, my sights turned to a small local theater: the former Minnsky Theater.
The troupes at Minnsky opened my eyes to a while new world of theater: Vaudeville. While I made big strides in my career as a lighting designer working on “Vaudevicals” (think musical, only with people flying through the air, taking their clothes off or spinning fire all while dancing and sometimes live singing or lip syncing), operas, student showcases, and ballets nearly every weekend for the small company, I was simultaneously beginning my journey as a cirque and dance performer. Every couple of months I was taking a new set of classes and practically gorging myself on movement. I tried Burlesque, Chair, Lyra, Pole, and later Belly dance. I slowly but surely came to rediscover just how much I love to perform and move and that I wanted to work on my own routines. Once the end of 2019 came and went I had produced and performed my first two dance numbers with some assistance from friends and instructors. Unfortunately, this all came to a dead stop in 2020.
After 2020 occurred and Minnsky was lost there was a time of limbo for a lot of us including myself. I took some time to intermittently teach belly dance and do my own spin on zumba with friends and family to keep busy and stay motivated. Admittedly, my willingness to produce any new routines was nonexistent, and without a theater to do tech work in I was stuck like a lot of other people were at that time. Thankfully, once things opened back up again, I was able to rejoin the rebranded theater Studio 42/Villainy Alternative Dance Studio and began my journey with them once more. My work as a designer for the two existing troupes Triple Threat Entertainment and NerdDoms has been the most fun I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
While my work has primarily been with TTE and NDU I have also done work with children’s shows. My love of bright colors and attention to detail pairs well with children’s theater. I’ve worked with Children’s Performing Arts in White Bear Lake, SOAR Arts Academy in St. Michael’s, and most recently at Simley High School. Sometimes though, it’s fun to have more of a challenge and help bring visibility to other small troupes in the Twin Cities area. I’ve loved continuing to work with Urban Spectrum Theater on shining a spotlight on Black artists and history and their impact on modern culture. Although we haven’t done very many shows together my work with them has been incredibly impactful on me and how I see art today. I also landed an incredible opportunity working at Roxy’s Cabaret for a year as their lighting and sound operator working with famous Drag Queens from all across the states.
In the midst of taking on the occasional lighting gig I have also been doing some performance work as Persephone/Morningstar McTíre. I have performed fire spinning and lyra in 2019, but most of my performance work was just this past year. I had the incredible opportunity to perform a couple times with REDACTED doing belly dance, drag, and burlesque as well as having an opportunity to perform on the Roxy’s Cabaret stage at their Inaugural Employee Drag Show. I even competed in my first ever competition in Nudie Nubies this past January! I have also performed with the North Star Gay Rodeo Association (NSGRA) at the Saloon a number of times and can still be found performing with them this year. If you’re looking for feedback on a new or old number I would highly recommend making a submission to Twin Cities New Revue where I have gotten incredibly insightful feedback from audience members and fellow performers that was useful in making some slight adjustments to my number for future performances.
If you’re looking to support me in my artistic endeavors please follow me on Instagram @persephonemctire and my primary troupes @nerddomsuniverse and @triplethreatentertainment to keep up on upcoming shows I’m doing in the Twin Cities area.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
There are a few skills that I feel are essential in any line of work that I would love to share with you. The first of which is work-life balance. As important as it is to be hard working and diligent, asking for more responsibilities to make yourself indispensable, it is even more important to ensure you’re taking time for yourself, too. The risk of chronic burnout is very easy to fall into if you’re not careful and it’s admittedly something even I struggle with from time to time. It’s easy to schedule every second of our days with work, chores and errands at home, but what time do we set aside for ourselves to relax and recenter ourselves? Taking just 30min to read, watch some TV or go for a leisurely stroll through the neighborhood is truly all one needs in a daily basis to unwind and be with ourselves. Without this essential down time one will inevitably experience burnout and not be able to perform as well as we would like to on an given day. Actively scheduling self care is something I feel should be prioritized than any else in our day to day lives. There will be times when you’ll get it wrong and that’s OK. Sometimes you need to change to kind of self care you need while other times you need to give yourself more time for self care depending on what is required of you that week. Just as long as your allowing yourself time to breathe, you will find that your energy levels will boost over time and you’ll feel happier as a result of giving yourself this necessary time to be with yourself and not work. Additionally, we all need a strong support system to reach out to and lean on from time to time. It may not seem like a skill but it is a valuable one to constantly cultivate. The people in your life will change over the years and so will your support system. Identifying who is in your corner and genuinely wants to see you succeed will be a primary cornerstone for you to utilize for a long time. These will be people who will help you network in your field, aid in finding resources, and be your cheerleader when things aren’t going well. Without people in our corners cheering us on and supporting us we are more likely to falter and lose sight of our goals. Sometimes we need a gentle push to remind us what we really want to be doing with our lives.
The final cornerstone skill in my life is maintaining good boundaries. There is a degree of self awareness that is tied to this skill that requires you to be checking in with yourself and your standing with the people in your circles, the work you do and even the hobbies you participate in during your day. Boundaries are very important to adhere to when you’re going about you daily life so you’re not doing too much at work, sacrificing too much of your time for others, and ensuring you take time for yourself to do the things that make you happy. Setting a boundary can admittedly be a difficult thing to do especially with other people. It can help you stand you ground with phrases like “I don’t want to be touched” or “please don’t speak to me in that tone of voice” to something more personal like “I need to take a step back for a while”. It can also be with yourself. For example: “I need to take some time for myself and will take 10 minutes of quiet time to be on my own” is a perfectly fine thing to express to yourself or to another person to care for yourself. It is also OK to say to your boss “I have too much on my plate right now, please find someone else to manage the project”. While it seems simple enough to do, following through with that boundary can feel rather difficult when your job, your children/pets, and your home all require your attention. However, voicing your needs will also help you tackle the things you need and want to do that much easier. Boundaries can also mean setting timers to allow yourself a specific amount of work or play time so your still able to address you other needs or setting reminders to do a specific task.
All three of these skills tie deeply with one another. Without support, we may not be able to be held accountable for taking time to do self care or help you recognize when you’re over working yourself or see that someone is monopolizing your time. Without boundaries we have a tendency to take on too much and burn ourselves out. Without good work/life boundaries we don’t get to see and use our support network as effectively as we could without them. All three work together in helping us maintain the delicate balance we want to adhere to have a full, happy and healthy life
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
It’s difficult to say that there’s only one person I feel I can say helped me overcome my challenges and aided me in developing the skills and qualities I have today. My teachers were many and they each gave me different accesses to the knowledge I wanted and needed if I didn’t pursue it on my own. My jobs and my daily life have all been phenomenal teachers of the lessons and skills I’ve cultivated over the years. In all honesty, my thanks and recognition can be given to my parents as a whole. My parents and step parents, “team parent” as they have dubbed themselves, have all given me valuable lessons and have been there for me to talk to when I’ve had challenges in the past and well into my future. My mom showed me how to make sacrifices and how to be a strong, independent and self reliant person by bring me to work with her and taking me camping, hunting and fishing almost every year while I was growing up. My step dad taught me the value of working hard to earn the things I have and cultivating a strong work ethic. My dad showed me how to be kind sympathetic while also not letting people walk all over me. My step mom however had the biggest impact on me. She showed me how to be kind to myself and how important it is to love myself and find the things that bring me joy. She also showed me how to get better in touch with my body and recognize my needs, both emotionally and physically. When I was emotionally struggling she also taught me my most valuable lesson to date: the value of keeping oneself safe when you want to be supportive of those you love while also needing to detatch with love to care for their own mental and emotional health. She has also been my biggest supporter in keeping with theater and dance. Although my dad came to more of my shows than she did, she knew from the moment she met me that I was meant to do something in the theater industry. She saw how happy it made me and would always comment on how I would glow when I spoke about my work and could hear the smile on my voice during our check ins on the phone. She even changed her language around commenting on my body to saying things like “you look strong” or “confident” instead of commenting on how muscular or slim I had become after making my return to dance since I have struggled with eating disorders since I was 14 years old. She’s been an incredible supporter in my professional life as an artist as well as my personal life.
Whenever I was in an unhealthy relationship she would point out that I was happier when they weren’t around and would even point out things that I wasn’t seeing in the relationship. She never once told me I was blinded by love; she was straightforward with me in saying that I see the best in people and that not everyone I will meet want the best for me, that some people hurt the ones the claim to love out of insecurity. I never felt judged by her in any decision I made, I always felt seen and supported by her. Since she has also been in similar relationships in the past she and I always had a deeper connection and understanding than I did with my other parents. Without her in my life, I probably wouldn’t have the same level of love for myself and eagerness to protect myself emotionally, protect my dreams, and continue to pursue the things that bring me joy and fulfillment. I am thankful for all the gifts she’s given me and I probably wouldn’t be here and be as happy as I am now without her guidance and nurturing spirit.
Contact Info:
Image Credits
Performance and Modeling The first 4 photos photo credit @sparkylabs (Alex Block) 5th photo credit @doubleedgeimagery (Kat Evans) 6th photo credit Duane McDowell Lighting Design 7th photo credit Max McDowell 8th taken long enough ago I can’t find who the photographer was
