We recently connected with Mayangui Nkouka and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Mayangui, so happy to have you with us today and there is so much we want to ask you about. So many of us go through similar pain points throughout our journeys and so hearing about how others developed certain skills or qualities that we are struggling with can be helpful. Along those lines, we’d love to hear from you about how you developed your ability to take risk?
“I feel trapped and dissatisfied…What am I doing?” After graduating and beginning my professional career in 2013, those thoughts became the norm. On paper, everything seemed perfect. I had a high paying reputable job that allowed me to live a comfortable life. I resided in Washington DC suburbs close to family and friends. Outside of work, I enjoyed my life. I was part of a faith-based community where I met people who are still my friends to this day. DC offered access to various festivals, cultural restaurants, museums and many more activities. I could travel freely locally and internationally. Why was I dissatisfied? I felt an enormous amount of guilt over those feelings and hid them to the best of my ability. I also struggled with low self-esteem and confidence.
I endured for several years climbing the career ladder. Subconsciously, I knew that it was the wrong ladder but struggled with a debilitating fear of change. “How do I jump off that ladder? Would I survive the fall?” In 2018, a friend connected me with a spiritual coach Anne, and she began helping me get unstuck. I did not realize how much internal work was needed. One of the first questions she asked was, “What do you want, Maya”? It was a simple question, but I did not know the answer. After considerable reflection, I replied, “I want to live fearlessly and with purpose.” Anne helped me explore what role my international and multicultural upbringing played in forming my identity and how indecisiveness made me fearful. After a few more sessions, my thought patterns slowly began to shift. Next, I took the biggest risk so far; I decided to move across the country! It was a mixture of exhilaration and terror. One day, I called a friend from the train on my way from work and asked about her experience living in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She no longer lived there herself but encouraged me to go. Once I made that decision, everything fell into place. I received permission to work remotely; thus, when I moved, there was no need to find a new job. Anne helped me face resistance from those who did not understand my decision to move. Taking that first risk improved my self-esteem and confidence.
Some old patterns still occasionally held me back. For instance, I did not have the courage to leave my DC job. However, the contract ended abruptly leaving me unemployed in a new place where I was only beginning to find community. I sensed as if God was showing me that if I would not quit voluntarily, He would push me out. I finally fell off that ladder…and survived! During that time, my faith grew exponentially because there was no one else to rely on but God. A few months later, I found a job with the University of Oklahoma and stayed with that job for over five years. This time, I did not wait for God to push me out when it was time to leave. I took the risk of resigning in August of 2025 in pursuit of abandoned dreams.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am on a journey of rediscovering what I love and do best. Once I began working with my spiritual coach Anne in 2018, I became exceedingly interested in life coaching. My desire was to contribute to someone else’s growth. The International Coach Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” I experienced not only personal and professional growth, but also spiritual growth because Anne coached me from a faith-based perspective. In 2019-2020, I wrote my first book titled <i>More to Life</i>, which I doubt would have been possible without coaching. For years, I had dreamed of writing a book; reaching that goal at last was exhilarating. Finally, in 2021, I enrolled in a 6-month program to become certified in Christian life coaching.
After finishing the program, I wish I could say that I quit my job and launched a life coaching business. Instead, I reverted back to old patterns and habits. My full-time job demanded more of my time and energy. Sadly, I abandoned coaching and settled into the job for four more years. Granted, I hired a book coach who helped me write a second book, but I did not finish that project yet. Some of the same feelings, such as “I feel trapped and dissatisfied…What am I doing?” creeped back in, which was a wake-up call. As mentioned above, I did not wait for God to push me out when I knew it was time to leave. I resigned from my position in August of 2025 to find a fulfilling job that would allow me to pursue life coaching and writing. It has been exciting and terrifying at the same time. I already began coaching a few people and absolutely love it.
To find a fulfilling job, I seek out opportunities to speak with professionals in various fields. I have been gaining much insight from them. For instance, I recently spoke with an attorney who greatly inspired me. Because of my dissatisfaction with the legal career, I was hesitant to revisit it. However, Renee’s approach to law practice is different and creative; she combined her numerous interests. She stated, “Don’t limit the things that you can do…You don’t have to choose.”
I organized a 90-Day Challenge, an accountability group with a few individuals who aspire to reach significant SMART goals (goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound). Here I am writing again thanks to Bold Journey. Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” What I find most exciting about my current journey is doing everything differently from the way I have done it in the past.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Three qualities that were most impactful in my journey were knowing myself, persevering, and embracing failure. “Know thyself” by Socrates seems like such a simple statement. Not taking the time to know myself caused me plenty of pain. I made decisions based on people’s or society’s expectations. Personally, coaching helped me tremendously, but I would encourage researching other tools as well to improve self-knowledge (ex: journaling).
A former colleague once shared her observation of me, “You can do whatever you want and you can do whatever you don’t want…and that’s dangerous.” The danger was my pattern of persevering even when seemingly walking on incorrect paths like climbing the wrong career ladders. To persevere in reaching your desirable outcome, I would recommend setting clear goals and reminding yourself why those goals are important to you.
Lastly, fear of failure can be crippling. Embracing failure as a normal part of life felt liberating. Arguably, I have learned more from failures than successes. My advice is…”Go ahead and fail and see what happens”.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
The number one challenge I am currently facing is making sure to follow my own advice. I am thrilled to be doing everything differently from the way I have done it in the past. However, I am fully aware of my old patterns of reverting back to safety and unhappiness. Therefore, I must remember the following:
Knowing who I am – my dreams and pursuits
Persevering – especially when it becomes hard
Embracing failure – to quote Nicole Krauss, “Better to try and fail than not to try at all”
Facing fear with faith – to quote a verse from the Bible, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
Contact Info:
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maya-nkouka
- Other: Electronic Copy of my Book More to Life: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1no7NkcTiFHgAvRo09rAAPAzvkRrtykzR/view?pli=1
Image Credits
Family
