We recently connected with Megan Vered and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Megan , thanks for sitting with us today to chat about topics that are relevant to so many. One of those topics is communication skills, because we live in an age where our ability to communicate effectively can be like a superpower. Can you share how you developed your ability to communicate well?
In 1978, after graduating from college, I had two dreams: move to Paris or enroll in the MFA program at University of Iowa. Instead, I fell in love, married, and became a mother to an adorable daughter. Undeterred, I studied creative writing and screen writing at my local community college. I loved it, but after giving birth to my son it became clear—I needed to make a living. I applied to a rigorous yearlong program at UCLA to become a Lamaze teacher. I was one of the few students in my cohort without a medical background but graduated at the top of my class. I launched my career with passion and a sense of mission. I taught private and group classes often with as many as 12 couples. The groups ranged in age, profession, religion, socio economic status, sexual orientation, and life values, pregnancy and childbirth playing the role of great equalizer. From my very first class when students gathered on my living room floor, to large hospital classes, to private classes in celebrity’s homes, I was tasked with creating an environment of trust and intimacy, a sacred space in which to discuss medical, technical, emotional, sociological, and highly personal content. My students put their trust in me to help them navigate their relationship with their bodies, their care providers, and the medical system. It was incumbent upon me to use language that would resonate for each person in my class, to develop a non-judgmental, open-hearted lexicon that would equip my students with both information and tools to guide them through this epic life transition. I carefully considered the language I used; every word mattered. I deleted imposing verbs like “should” and “ought to” from my vocabulary and replaced them with words like “could” and “might want to”. I consciously avoided medical language and softened terminology to put my students at ease. I came to see my non-medical background—in specific my attention to language—as an asset. Years into my career, one of my students said to me, “During your class I felt like I was the only person in the room, like you were talking directly to me.” Now, with years of memoir writing under my belt, I am so grateful for my eighteen-year career working with expectant parents. It opened my ears to the specificity of language while amplifying my ability to address universal, accessible themes.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
When I graduated from Vermont College of Fine Arts in 2017 with an MFA in creative writing, I could not have anticipated the opportunities that are now being manifest in my writing life—sometimes the trajectory of a career is not what we choose but what chooses us. During a radio interview several months ago, after my Huff Post article about my 70th birthday went viral, the host asked me, with a note of incredulity in her voice, “So, you write full time?” I answered to the affirmative but didn’t have time to offer detail. Yes, I am a full-time writer, but my multi-dimensional writing life—which is trending in the direction of audio and visual media with each passing day—encompasses much more than “I write.” It includes keeping my eye out for publishing opportunities, submitting pitches, conducting and giving author interviews, crafting media reels, planning and teaching group classes, offering and attending public readings, and, above all, the unaccounted, unlisted time spent dreaming about words, phrases, and what I might write next. Perhaps the best way to help you understand what I do is to share today’s to-do list, giving you a glimpse into “a day in the life.”
1. Record 2-minute script about 70th birthday for KQED news producer
2. Respond to De Paw professor about request to be guest essayist
3. Finalize prompts and essay samples for fall writing series. Topic: Change
4. Submit essay to anthology query
5. Prepare pages for writing group
6. Submit follow-up pitch to HuffPost
7. Submit photos for upcoming Huff Post article
8. Prepare talk for Lotus Network
9. Respond to TODAY request for pitches
10. Plan this month’s Substack article
11. Update testimonials and recent pubs on website
As you can see, my mind is often spinning in multiple and diverse directions. Being a writer keeps me nimble and open to possibilities.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
When I graduated from my MFA program, one of my mentors, Patrick Madden, said to me, “You have everything you need to succeed as a writer.” When I asked him what “everything” meant he replied, “You have talent but beyond that, all I can say is that whatever it is, you have it.” Patrick was my first semester advisor. Every month I emailed a packet to him containing 30-40 pages. A week later he returned those pages to me with what felt like more comments, questions, and track changes than most writers could bear in a lifetime. He explained that he wrote down every thought, question, or reaction that went through his mind as he read my work, to give me an idea of how my words might affect a reader. I won’t lie, when I opened my first packet I scrolled through the blur of red, closed my laptop, and wept. The following day I took a deep breath, opened the document and bullet by bullet addressed each one of his comments. After all, I had enrolled in graduate school to become a better writer. Over the years I have reflected on my conversation with Patrick and wondered what it was he saw in my approach to writing that gave him so much confidence in me. True, I turned my work in on time. I took my assignments seriously, going so far as to email the people in my life that while in graduate school I would be unavailable during office hours Monday-Friday from 1-5 PM. I transcended tears, rolled up my sleeves, and took feedback seriously. When I didn’t understand I asked questions. And through all the toil I tried to preserve my sense of humor. So, what are three qualities I can name that helped me? Perhaps qualities Patrick observed but couldn’t articulate. Sticktoitiveness, which encompasses perseverance, discipline, and grit. Curiosity, which includes staying humble and keeping my heart and mind open. Levity, which includes humor, reframing, and not taking myself too seriously.
If a fledgling writer were to ask for advice I would say, “Always remember that you have a voice that is uniquely yours. Let your heart fly on the page. No writing is a waste of time. Each moment of inspiration leads to the next. Keep moving forward. Build a community for support. Be a good literary citizen. But more than anything else I can offer, to become a writer you need to write. When the house needs cleaning. When your best friend wants to go for coffee. When you’d rather go swimming or take a nap. It’s as simple as that. Saying “I am a writer” and being a writer are two very different things.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
Is there anybody living in today’s world who does not get overwhelmed? I have a few simple techniques that I employ when the noise gets too loud. When I am feeling anxious and at risk of disconnecting from my body, I breathe. My years as a childbirth educator, yoga teacher, and meditator with teachers like Thich Nhat Hanh, John Kabat Zinn, and Pema Chodron taught me the simple act of breathing in and breathing out. Five minutes of intentional deep breathing is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves during times of stress. It activates our parasympathetic nervous system, lowering our heart rate and blood pressure, helping us maintain equilibrium. When feeling stuck on the page, I walk, or I dance. I turn up the volume on Motown, Michael Jackson, Outkast and so many more. As the blood circulates in my body, it increases blood flow and the release of hormones. New neurons light up my brain, triggering the flow of words. And, when losing confidence or feeling hopeless, I watch skater Nathan Chen’s 2022 stunning Olympic gold medal-winning performance. I think about all the times leading up to this glorious moment that he fell or missed his mark. The rigorous hours of practice. The moments of despair. How often did he want to give up? The convergence of artistry, technique, and joy that led to the perfection of that skating program (along with his unrelenting perseverance) never fail to inspire me.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.meganvered.com
- Instagram: meganvered
- Facebook: Megan V Thygeson
- Linkedin: Megan Vered
- Youtube: Megan Vered
- Other: Substack: Peonies in Bloom
Image Credits
Laine Steelman, Bram Van Splunteren, Stephanie Muller
