We caught up with the brilliant and insightful MeiMei Fox a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
MeiMei, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
I arrived at my purpose after a series of false starts.
When I set off for Stanford University at age 17, I was certain that I wanted to be a diplomat in the foreign service like my father. I loved to study languages and travel. But I soon discovered that an International Relations degree required coursework in economics and political science – neither of which I enjoyed.
The courses I loved most of all were in psychology. Studying the human mind, social dynamics, decision making, the impact of culture and parenting on behavior all intrigued me. So, I switched to a major in psychology at the end of my second year.
Next, I assumed I would go straight from undergrad to grad school where I’d earn a PhD and become a university professor. I knew I enjoyed teaching and this seemed like the logical path. I applied and got into my top choice of grad schools, but at the last minute I pulled the plug. I felt compelled to get out of the “Ivy Tower” of academia and garner some real-world experience.
But what could I do with a psychology degree? I had no idea, so I went to the career center. A counselor there told me to become a management consultant in order to gain a broad introduction to the business world.
I applied and was accepted for a business analyst position at the San Francisco office of the prestigious firm McKinsey & Co. I was thrilled! For about two months.
By then, I realized that this work was not aligned with my purpose either. It seemed I’d be working on one project after another with the aim of making the most powerful, wealthiest companies on earth even richer and more powerful. I loved my colleagues, but I couldn’t stomach the agenda. I rode out my two year contract and then left.
Now I was really lost. I thought about going back to academia or getting another advanced degree. I spent hours reviewing job listings, talking to friends, doing informational interviews, but I did not resonate with anything I found.
Then a friend who was an MD and knew I’d always loved to write asked me if I’d like to write a book with him. I said yes, why not? I went to the bookstore and bought a book called “How to Write a Book Proposal.” I followed its advice and created a proposal for our health and wellness book. Then I sent an email to everyone I knew asking if anyone knew anyone in publishing who would be willing to give me feedback on my proposal. One friend said yes, she had a friend at Penguin Putnam who would help us out.
Two weeks later, that friend of a friend emailed me back. “I never do this, but we’re buying your book,” she wrote. That’s how I got my first book deal! In retrospect, it was so darn lucky, really a moonshot. Not only did Putnam publish the book, but the senior editor on the project told me I could be a ghostwriter and freelance editor for a living and set me up with a literary agent. Basically, I won the publishing business lottery.
It’s been a dream of pursuing my life purpose ever since! I’ve spent 25 years coauthoring, editing and ghostwriting nonfiction books. I’ve also contributed regularly to Huffington Post and Forbes, and written for numerous other publications. I write only about topics that interest me, namely health and wellness, psychology and self-help. I work only with people I like. I learn a ton, set my own hours, and can live anywhere I want in the world.
Truly, I feel blessed.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
This past year, I launched a six-week online course called “Your Bestselling Book.” I’m so excited about it!
I’ve distilled all my wisdom and experience from 25 years of working as a professional author into 6 one-hour weekly Seminars, masterclasses in which I show you how to go from conception to completion of your nonfiction book or memoir. Each week, there are also one-hour Workshops, which are limited to just 10 participants per group. I attend each of these Workshops live, and guide you through sharing your work and getting individualized feedback from me and the other high-achievers in the group. In addition, I’ve recorded interviews with numerous experts in the world of writing and publishing, from my very own agent, to the CEO of a hybrid publishing company, a self-publishing company, an audiobook production company, and a successful podcaster.
We ran the first cohort in the fall and garnered all 5-star reviews, with people saying that the course changed their lives. We all became best friends, and are there to cheerlead one another in finishing our books and promoting them.
I’ve been deeply honored to create and teach this course, and I look forward to running it again three times in 2024. If you’ve ever dreamed of writing your own book, I encourage you to join us!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Writing.
Okay, this may seem obvious since I am a professional writer. But stick with me! I firmly believe that becoming an excellent writer will serve you in any field you choose to pursue, and life in general.
I was blessed to have a father who edited my papers from middle school onward. He was relentless with his red pen, cutting adverbs, adjectives and unnecessary clauses, and forcing me to clarify my writing.
You may think that “AI can do it all” now, but you’re wrong. AI is no substitute for your own unique voice, which emerges directly out of your personal life experience. Nor can you rely on AI for real critical thinking. AI is good for a rough draft, a line edit, a fresh take… But you better be able to re-write whatever it spits out.
2. People Skills.
When I was in college and in my 20s, I believed that my career success was entirely dependent on my credentials: Going to a great school, working at a prestigious company. While there is some truth to that in terms of external validation, the real key to success, I soon discovered, is people.
Every person you ever connect with – from your high school teachers to your barista to your Uber driver to your neighbors – is worth getting to know, worth talking to like a real human being. Every person has an amazing story to share… Their own! And every person has lessons to offer, wisdom to help guide you, varying opinions to open your eyes to new ways of thinking. And you never know what connection might lead you to your next job, your next opportunity, your life partner! People skils are so important!
3. Spirituality
I grew up in a Christian household but never really took to organized religion. That said, I’ve always felt a certainty in my soul that we come from some higher power and will return to it after death, that there is some presence out there.
I was blessed in my early 30s when in crisis due to my divorce to discover Buddhist thinking. I love it because it is less of a formal religion and more of a psychology. Reading the great masters, from Thich Nhat Hanh to Jack Kornfield to Pema Chondron to Ram Dass opened my eyes to a new way of living – one in which I reacted less and responded more, one in which I slowed down, breathed, and made gratitude a daily practice.
One of the most transformative experiences of my life was attending a 10-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat. Ten days of absolute silence with no stimulation, no books, no journaling, no music, no exercise, only two meals and one lecture a day – it rewired my brain. I cannot recommend it highly enough. I’ve been back to two more retreats since and look forward to doing another soon.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
I’d say my parents did a lot right, and I am darn lucky. I always felt loved and cared for, seen and appreciated.
But one thing they did that I did not like at the time, when I was a kid, was severely limit my screen time. This was back in the Dark Ages before the internet (I know, you youngsters are thinking, “The horror!”). We only had one small TV and no cable, ever, even in the late 80s when MTV was king and all I wanted to do was watch music videos. Our basic TV had only 5 channels, one of which was educational. And my brother and I were only permitted to watch the nightly news on weekdays and some Saturday morning cartoons and the Disney Sunday night movie on the weekends.
I called myself “a TV deprived child” and I resented my parents for it.
But now I am so grateful! I became an avid reader. I wrote. I learned to be bored – something no child can learn in today’s world of phones and watches and devices everywhere. I am grateful for the discipline brought to me.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.meimeifox.com
- Instagram: @meimeifox
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meimeifox
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meimeifox/
- Other: www.writeyourbestsellingbook.com
Image Credits
Wendy K Yalom
