Meet Melinda Lee Schmitt

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Melinda Lee Schmitt. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Melinda Lee below.

Hi Melinda Lee, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

In 2011, I spent a year hugging everyone I encountered, cashiers, mail carriers, waiters, even people waiting in check-out lines with me. When I set out to hug everyone I encountered for that year, I had no idea how much it would change me. I didn’t know how little self-worth I had and how I continued to boost my self-esteem through people-pleasing and weak boundaries.

My intention was pure. I wanted to share love with others so they felt seen, validated, and accepted – all the things I needed to feel for myself. I knew the importance of boundaries for others; I always asked for a hug before I gave it, especially with strangers. However, it was years before I discovered that I was just as worthy of the boundaries I knew others deserved.

I thought that a year of hugging strangers would fulfill me and give me purpose. A purpose I could carry with me through the rest of my life. Instead, when it was over, I was left feeling empty and more alone than ever. Although my life looked perfect on paper, I couldn’t understand why I felt so unhappy.

8 years after I completed my year of hugs, I embarked on another hug adventure, this time bringing my hugs cross-country, staying overnight with the people I was hugging. I navigated unwelcome advances, dinner conversations with people whose political beliefs opposed mine, and most importantly, witnessed support and love in relationships that I’d never encountered in my own. Desperate to find the support, love, and happiness I witnessed on that hug journey, I left my marriage and pursued the greatest relationship of all. The one with myself.

I’d argue that this was the beginning of my truest adventure, the one to self-love. Over the next three years, I reflected on all that I learned about life, people, and myself while on my hug journeys. I became a recovering people-pleaser and practiced setting strong boundaries. I quietly developed a healthy self-esteem and built unshakeable confidence. I rebelled against everything I’d been taught I needed to be happy in life and discovered my own unique joys while embracing everything that makes me awkward, weird, and absolutely lovable.

I share all of the details of this journey in my debut memoir, Rebel Hugger. Some say it reads as a hero’s journey. I’d say it’s closer to what Joseph Campbell would describe as a heroine’s journey, “Women don’t need to make the (hero’s) journey. In the whole mythological tradition, the woman is [already] there. All she has to do is to realize that she’s the place that people are trying to get to.”

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

When people feel important and valued, they do good in the world. My coaching business, Encompass Energetics, LLC empowers women to believe in themselves and the gifts they have to share with the world. Gifts that help them build a life of joy, success, and peace for themselves and their communities.

My practice combines coaching with energetic healing techniques to build a bridge that supports my client’s spiritual self to live authentically in this physical world. I help them navigate the dense social structures that weigh many of us down so they may shine their light as a beacon for others.

A favorite aspect of my work is the way that my animal communication skills blend seamlessly into helping my clients. I bring forward messages from my client’s pets and the wildlife around them as additional guidance and support. Most people don’t understand just how supported they are from all of nature. We’re never alone.

I offer 3 or 6-month coaching programs that help women break free of the limiting beliefs and societal expectations they carry while implementing these changes to create their most authentic future. A future where they are free.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Three qualities that have had the most impact on my journey are intuition, vulnerability, and curiosity.

I’ve called my intuition, ‘the nudge’ as it nudges me toward my greatest growth and accomplishments. It’s what led me to hug strangers for an entire year and continues to guide me to live my most authentic, fulfilling life. Most of us lose touch with our intuition over the years for the sake of following society’s “rules for life”. When we are ready, we can tap into our intuition again with practice. I recommend starting an intuition journal, one where you can document daily or weekly how it felt to tap into your intuition, what direction it took you in and what kind of outcome you had.

After discovering Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, I’ve noticed the deep impact it’s had on all my relationships, personal and business. It requires a lot of deep inner work and a practice of being increasingly present. Meditation, forest bathing, yoga, and any other mindful-based technique help to drop you into that presence. From that space, you can cultivate a deep sense of safety in who you are allowing yourself to be your most vulnerable while also maintaining boundaries between yourself and others.

Curiosity is my favorite emotion. It’s creative and allows me to think outside the confines of what I think I know to be true. This has been most helpful in business. Anytime I’ve tried following a set of “rules” that makes a business successful, I fall flat on my face but when I’ve allowed curiosity to enter and guide me to interpret the “rules” in a way that makes sense to me, I find the most success. Just like intuition and vulnerability, curiosity is a practice that must be cultivated and encouraged to grow through daily use. Incorporating tools to encourage each of these qualities is a foundational part of my coaching practice.

Tell us what your ideal client would be like?

My ideal client is someone who feels as though they are an outcast, different, like they don’t belong in society the way others seem to. They are someone who has tried to fit in by cultivating a masked version of their personality and are exhausted from trying so hard. They are ready to drop the mask and become their most authentic self but they aren’t sure how or where to begin.

I help clients tap into the truth of who they are and help them integrate that self into their daily lives, baby step by baby step so as not to overwhelm their nervous system.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://melindaleeschmitt.com
• Instagram: @thisismemelindalee
• Facebook: @thisismemelindalee

Image Credits

Starr Petronella