Meet Melissa Davey

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Melissa Davey a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Melissa, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

It certainly took time. At age 75 I have enough time behind me to be able to look back and seriously ponder this question.

My answer is that I have found different “purposes” throughout the decades. Maybe that is a starting point to discuss my feeling that we may not have one purpose in life but rather a series of purposes driven by time and experience.

I have had many jobs, careers and experiences in my lifetime. Each was driven by searching for my purpose at the time, I was never one to say I had one specific goal in mind, train for it and then perfect that for my lifetime. I am in awe of people who seem to know at a very young age that their life purpose would be to teach or become a doctor and then stick with that for their lifetime.

My intense curiosity led me to try many different things, each feeling very purposeful at the time and each offering me the experiences that I could take with me to the next undertaking. Marriage, motherhood, failed marriage and new marriage all offered a certain sense of purpose in my earlier years, but work was where I began to collect the experiences that would connect the puzzle pieces of my purpose. It was through work, from working with children to various non-profit jobs and then later corporate work that I found a purpose thread. I found that I was a decent leader, that I had what it took to create viable teams and direct those teams to positive outcomes. I found I was good at storytelling and listening to others’ stories, very important in business. These traits led me to elevated leadership positions in every job I had. My purpose seemed to be fairly clear. I was here to be connected with and lead people to achieving whatever goals were expected.

For me, and I do believe this is obviously personal for each of us, I was leading a life of purpose. Or was I?

At age 65 I was sitting in a very successful, more than two decades long corporate career when I suddenly noticed my age. That set me on a quest to ask myself, “is this it?” I wasn’t ready to retire and there was no pressure to do so from the company where I worked. It was a nagging and urgent alarm that seemed to be sounding off and requiring my attention. I started making lists of all the things I had fantasized about in my life but had never taken any action on. Why? Why hadn’t I tried any of these wild ideas? I decided playing a saxophone might be a stretch as I didn’t read music and back then I felt it would take too long given my age. At the top of the list was making a film. Remember, I said I had a number of fantasies, well this was the big one.

While all this was happening, the hashing a rehashing of why I had never bothered to even consider making a fantasy list and acting on it, I was still plugging away at work, jokingly (or not) saying to my colleagues that I did not want to die at my desk. The idea of doing something creative, just for me, was continuously nudging me. All it took was a detour one day to open my eyes to the possibility.

After an early in the day congressional meeting in DC I decided to leave early and did not go back to work. Instead, I hooked up with a friend and on a drive with her in the backwoods of Chester County, PA we came across a film set. We pulled over to watch it unfolding and I pulled out my iPhone thinking I knew who it might be. As I typed in the name M Night Shyamalan, up popped his website and a picture of where we were sitting. My instinct was correct. On his page there was a red button that said Chairty Buzz, so being curious I hit it and up popped “Win a Day on the Set with M Night Shyamalan” and the proceeds would go to his education foundation. I started bidding and I ended up winning! Within two weeks I was on the set with Night and his crew filming The Visit. This surreal experience lasted more than 8 hours and that is all it took to solidify the fact that I wanted to try to make a film.

The next day I gave a one-year notice at work and began my journey to become a filmmaker. By the time I was 65 I was very clear about what I was good at and how to shore up areas of weakness. It was a logical and fairly comfortable process to undertake and I wanted my new quest to be purposeful. I wanted what I would create to inspire others. It did not take long at all for me to make the decision to make a documentary about the resilience and continued relevance of older women. My first film, Beyond Sixty, tells the stories of nine women. It was an incredible journey and one which took almost three years from conception to completion. I had never felt more energized and optimistic for the future. Once the film finished the journey of film festivals and was distributed, I started on my second film, Climbing into Life. This documentary tells the life story of the oldest woman to climb El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. I am finishing up a year of film festivals with a number of awards and starting to look at distribution. I am currently working on a couple of small film projects with friends and have an idea for a documentary about the women of Ukraine that I hope will be realized in 2026.

Helping women tell their stories in such a creative way is more than satisfying.

How did I find my purpose? On a dirt road after years of varied life experiences that led me to where I am today. I do wonder though, is there another purpose in me? Maybe.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I continue to focus excitedly on filmmaking, and I am currently developing a proof of concept for a film which would take me to Ukraine to interview some of the women who have taken over many of the jobs held by the men who are now at war. These women are spectacularly resilient, and their stories will inspire people of all ages.

My second film, Climbing into Life has been in 17 film festivals in the US and Canada with the next one in Gig Harbor, WA September 26-28. Then one more in the UK in November while working on distribution at the same time.

You can find my first film, Beyond Sixty, streaming on AppleTV, PrimeVideo, Vimeo, Vudu, Tubi, GoogleTV and Cable OnDemand.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

1.The ability to really listen to someone
2.The ability to craft and tell a story that will get the desired outcome (could be in business or creative fields)
3.Curiosity about everyone and everything

My advice would be to test yourself when listening to someone. Be sure you listen to understand and not listen to respond. This skill is so important in life. It requires patience so test your patience levels as well. Do you find yourself losing interest or wanting to interrupt when listening to someone? The ability to truly listen without judgement is key in life and work. If you are a good listener, you will be one step ahead when crafting and telling a story which is critical in the human experience for so many reasons. It will help in relationships, at work or in all creative processes.
Curiosity is innate, for me anyway, and I think it has been the guiding factor in my life leading me to search for answers and new experiences. Without curiosity I wonder if a person really gets to unravel their true essence. Can it be learned by practicing? I think so. Stepping out of our comfort zones is scary but the possibilities are great!

If you knew you only had a decade of life left, how would you spend that decade?

This is a great question for me as it is relevant to my age. I am 75 years old. A quarter of a century! I often think about my expiration date, always hoping it will be long from now, but only wanting that to be true if I am healthy and have the ability to create. If I only had a decade left, I would continue to do what I love most which is traveling the world with my husband, spending quality time with my two children and three grandsons and creating films and connecting with other curious people to be inspired by whatever they are doing.

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Melissa Davey

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