Meet Melissa Mahoney

We were lucky to catch up with Melissa Mahoney recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Melissa, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

I started my photography career very young. It was before digital It was when a photographer had about 36 frames to get the shot. Not an unlimited amount. Then there was the patience of a dark room. And printing contact sheets. I studied under a very tough french photographer when I was about 16. I am so grateful for the hardness of him. My career was a literal construct of blood sweat and tears. I wanted to shoot fashion. And I would be frustrated when I would have to shoot, for example, a short, heavy set, very dark girl. My teacher reminded me “Melissa, what are you going to do if you had to shoot Oprah? How are you going to light her?” He couldn’t have been more right. I worked my ass off to eventually end up in Paris for a couple years in my early 20’s. I was booked to shoot an editorial at Hotel George V (Annie Leibovitz was in the suite next door shooting). This was it for me. I had arrived. They had booked Alek Wek, who at the time was a super model. She was the most beautiful human I had ever laid eyes on. The film was rich and thick with her soul. The polaroids made me cry. The magazine was thrilled. They had requested I retouched the scars on her legs. It took me back. Her scars?!?! Do you have any idea HOW she got those scars??? She was raised as part of the Dinka tribe and at 14 escaped the civil war in Sudan. Her scars are her history. It became very clear to me that fashion’s intention at the time and my intention thru photography were very different. Alek Wek is a refugee from the Sudan. And I will not retouch her scars.
That is when I realized WHO a person is makes them beautiful to me.
My career shifted gears and I ended up on tour with Aerosmith as their photographer. Now there is a whole lot I’m leaving out. There was blood, sweat and tears to get there as well. Nothing I have ever done came without hard work. Anything worth having isn’t easy.
We toured the states and we toured the world. I flew to places like Russia, Italy and Germany. After a tour Hilfiger was doing a collaboration with Steven Tyler. Because of my fashion background, I always wanted the guys to look sexy and beautiful on stage. So I always shot them that way, whereas most rock photographers wanted to capture the grit. Hilfiger when choosing the photographer for their campaign would always fall back to my images “who shot this one?” And that was how I ended up getting to combine my fashion skill set with WHO the person was.
Thru traveling and my success I learned, in fact, I could not party like a rockstar. Drinking and drugging had become the literal thread of the fabric that made me the photographer I was. I had created a life that no one blinked an eye when I was drinking at 9am. My photo assistants needed to know my lighting, almost as important as knowing how and when to make my drinks.
My journey to sobriety was a lot uglier than my journey to success. But far more for filling. There is something so beautiful about feeling every impossible pain and every breathtaking joy without any anesthetic. The biggest lie I ever told myself was that the booze and drugs are what gave me creativity as an artist. Nah. Not even close. Having an incredibly intimate relationship with being so uncomfortable in my own skin, walking thru heart ache, being bored, a beautiful sunny day, all of it, without numbing myself, is where my creativity comes from. I am so grateful to have lived a few lives already.
My purpose is to find beauty in others and show them. My purpose is to keep the scars.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I promised myself that I would use any platform I encounter to talk about suicide. I hear a lot of people say things like “oh they took the easy way out” or “what a coward”. I lost one of my best friends to suicide July 17, 2023. I know she wasn’t a coward, I know she didn’t take the easy way out. She fought the hardest fight. I can say that, because my journey to recovery started with a failed suicide attempt. Its something I don’t like to talk about, so I haven’t. But the shame of my attempt is trumped by wanting to change the stigma and let others know they are not alone.
At my sickest point in my alcoholism, I could no longer get drunk. I couldn’t quiet my head. I had a mind that couldn’t get enough and a body that couldn’t take anymore. I couldn’t get relief. Drinking simply kept me from going thru withdrawls and dying. (A fact a lot of people don’t know is alcohol (and benzodiazepines) withdrawl will kill you. If you believe you have a problem, you should never try to detox yourself). I had tried a handful of detoxes. I couldn’t live with alcohol and I couldn’t live without it. I hated myself. And I truly believed everyone would be better off without me. I was a burden. So I took my life. I took my life crying my eyes out. Terrified. But I believed I was doing it for the people I loved. It is a miracle I am here. From being found, to the local hospital telling my family there was nothing they could do for me, being sent to the ICU in Boston. All of it. I shouldn’t be here. But I am. In this darkness is where I found my God. And started my journey of recovery.
I’m sorry to get all deep and dark. But addiction and depression needs to be brought into the light. I know I suffered alone. Wanting to fix it on my own. I don’t want anyone ever feeling that way. You are not alone.

So what I do now. I wake up every morning GRATEFUL AS F*CK. I use my gift to make people see a side of themselves they didn’t see before. I document memories for families. I make women feel powerful. I keep the scars in the photos. I talk about my sobriety. I fight my depression. I love my kids, real hard. And I live by remembering they won’t remember everything I have said to them, but they will remember how I made them feel.

You can find my work on my website

www.melissamahoney.com

and on instagram

mel_mahoney

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

three is my favorite number 😉

most impactful on my journey

1) as Steven Tyler would say to me “dare to suck”. We get so caught up in worrying about what other people think, we dilute or change or edit our work (even ourselves). F*ck that. DARE TO SUCK.

2) take every job, every opportunity, like it’s the biggest, highest paid job. go above and beyond. In my early days with Aerosmith, I was hired on tour just to shoot Steven. But I took the opportunity to shoot the whole band. And their families back stage. Then I would stay up late and print those photos and slide them under the bandmates hotel room doors.
I wore them down. don’t take no for an answer. think of it as a not right now.

3) everything that is happening in your life is for your greatest good. even the bad shit. you won’t be able to see it right now. but be thankful for it all. it is making you who you are.
I’d take time to tell the old Chinese fable of “is it good or bad”. the farmer and his fate. google it.

Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?

It is so easy for me to get overwhelmed. As an artist and as a human. I think as an artist, at least for me, coupled with alcoholism and depression, I feel everything sooooo deeply. Good and bad. Especially when I’m dealing with something I care so much about. Like my art and my kids. My head is a very dangerous place for me.
Something negative someone said to me in 2013 can jump on loop at 3am in my head.
I would NEVER say half the things to another person that I find myself saying to myself.

I’ve been very fortunate to discover meditation and take it to the next level in Buddhism. I practice at a temple in Raynham MA called, (you ready for this?) Wat Nawamintararachutis Meditation Center. And no I can’t pronounce it YET. They also have incredible open markets on Sundays with authentic Thai food and music.
But I practice meditation ANYWHERE. Even just 5 mins will change the course of my whole day. I practice Vipassana which is mindfulness. Its about observing thoughts and feelings and letting them go. Because everything will pass. Whether it’s joyful or painful.

So for me, it helps a lot when I am overwhelmed to meditate, remember that without a doubt, the feelings and the negativity will pass. Most importantly, as cheesy as it sounds, GRATITUDE. Grab a pen and paper and write a list of things you are grateful for. Sometimes I struggle with my gratitude list. I heard an awesome quote (and sorry if the word “God” offends you. Use whatever you’re comfortable with).

but.

IMAGINE YOU WOKE UP TODAY WITH ONLY WHAT YOU THANKED GOD FOR YESTERDAY.

I guarantee some shit will come to mind.

Contact Info:

• Website: mmphotorocks@gmail.com
• Instagram: mel_mahoney
• Facebook: Melissa Mahoney Thibeault

Image Credits

Steven Tyler
Steven Tyler and Chelsea Tyler
Joe and Billie Perry and Family
Alek Wek