We recently connected with Melissa Pleckham and have shared our conversation below.
Melissa, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
The best advice I have for anyone struggling with imposter syndrome — and I think we’ve all felt it, to some degree or another, at some point in our lives — is to remember that everyone is an imposter. And I mean this in a good way! As RuPaul said, “We’re all born naked and the rest is drag.” What that means to me is that I can dress myself up as whatever I want to be (literally, or figuratively, or both) and in the process I will actually become that thing. You want to be a creative? Live a creative life! Make things, share the things you make, be wild! No one has it all figured out. And if there’s one positive lesson we as a society can glean from watching self-important billionaires play dress-up as politicians or media moguls or astronauts, it’s that the number one thing you need to make your dream come true is the audacity to own it and the willingness to live it.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m a writer, actress, and musician, with a special emphasis on horror and all things spooky. I’ve published a number of short stories, poems, and essays, and I’m currently finishing up my first novel. I’m also always looking for interesting projects to perform in, which might range from a film project requiring a charmingly sardonic Aubrey Plaza-type, to a post-punk or garage-goth band in need of a bass player. I love to collaborate, and I’m always dreaming up something new.
As a student of legendary LA author Francesca Lia Block, I’m also currently involved in the launch of Francesca’s Lit Angels Writing Studio at the Village Well bookstore in Culver City, where I’m leading a morning pages workshop for budding creatives looking to unlock the power of their own subconscious via the written word. There are so many great classes on the horizon from a variety of amazing instructors; check out the Village Well’s website for more info!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
1. Really learn not to take things personally. This is something it took me decades to fully understand; I took EVERYTHING personally, and thought every rejection was a condemnation of me as talentless, worthless, or not good enough. Believe me when I say that everyone is on their own trip and people are not as worried about what you’re up to as you might think — this is both a good thing (failure is way lower-stakes than you think) and a bad thing (getting noticed is hard!).
2. Share your art with the world. The creative process isn’t complete if you put it on a shelf and never release it into the wild; it’s like having a kid who you never let out of the house! Now of course you want to feel like your creations are ready to be shared, so I’m not saying you have to put everything out there as soon as you make it, but don’t sit on it forever either. To create is divine! Know that you’re engaging with the most positive impulse in the entire universe and put your stuff out there as much as possible!
3. Know your worth. You have worth because you are a human being; you don’t have to prove anything to anyone beyond that. Really drop into that and feel secure in it and you won’t go looking for validation or flattery outside of yourself. You want to do it, right? That’s how you know you’re meant to do it. It’s calling you. Go find it!
Do you think it’s better to go all in on our strengths or to try to be more well-rounded by investing effort on improving areas you aren’t as strong in?
I think the best thing you can do to make yourself stand out is to lean all the way in to your strengths. If you don’t know what your strengths are, here’s a clue: What do people comment on about you? Whether they’re framing it as compliments or insults, or even just neutral observations, that’s what people notice. Are you shy? Tall? An outrageous dresser? Have a dark sense of humor? Do you know everything there is to know about the Beatles? Are you a hilariously awful cook? Don’t hide it! Make it your trademark! Write a screenplay about what it’s like to be the shyest person in Los Angeles. Wear platforms so you’re 8 feet tall. Work on a comedy routine so pitch-black and deadpan it gets you barred from open mic nights. For years, I tried to hide my proclivity for horror and creepy things beyond a flimsy facade of normalcy, and guess what? It got me nowhere. No one remembered who I was, I couldn’t write, and I felt depressed all the time. Now, I let myself be who I am in all contexts, personal and professional, and I have truly never been happier or more fulfilled. If you try to change yourself, you’re only going to end up frustrated and creatively constipated.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.melissapleckham.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mpleckham/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRpM9pXoJceh-eFZRWx2iSA
- Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/blacklullabies
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