Meet Melissa Simmons

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Melissa Simmons. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Melissa, so great to have you with us today. There are so many topics we want to ask you about, but perhaps the one we can start with is burnout. How have you overcome or avoided burnout?

I’ve had to learn this lesson the hard, painful way, meaning I’ve gotten burned out a few times and it isn’t fun. It’s taken me a long time to realize that taking time off is not a luxury – it’s a requirement. If you want to be effective for the long term and avoid the crash & burn, you must take some breaks.

I learned to work hard from my parents and from my eight years’ service in the United States Marine Corps. The Marines do an excellent job of teaching work ethic and reinforce the ethos that being a Marine is much more than a day job – you are a Marine 24/7. This mindset is essential for an effective fighting force, but the unfortunate side effect is that it can be difficult to disconnect.

Following my honorable discharge from the Corps I built and operated my own business. I was essential to the successful operating of the business, or at least I believed I was. This was probably true in the beginning, but once it got off the ground and it was more than just me working there, I should have done a better job of scheduling down time. Instead, I worked and worked until I was frazzled and ended up selling the business because I was completely depleted.

After that I worked at two different remote business jobs which afforded me a significant amount of freedom in terms of work hours and location. It was just what the doctor ordered after my entrepreneurial burnout. Over time, though, I learned the dark side of the remote position – when you don’t have set work hours or location you run the risk of working all the time. I failed to set good boundaries and made myself indispensable and always available. I went nearly five years without taking a vacation. I traveled, to be sure, but I took work with me everywhere. It turned out to be a set of “golden handcuffs”.

I think I’ve finally found a good balance, but it still requires effort. I’m someone who hates “dropping the ball” so I must force myself to set the ball down sometimes. I have started scheduling my vacations months in advance. This helps me ensure I take real time off with the added benefit of giving me something to look forward to, which helps me stay motivated and energized in the in-between times.

I’m actually preparing for a vacation now. I’ve had it on the calendar for over six months and it’s finally here! I wish I could say it’s been a simple transition for me and that my burnout lesson has been completely learned…but it’s still a work in progress. I have to keep reminding myself that things will be just fine in my absence and that I will come back better and reinvigorated. I have loaded four novels on my phone and can’t wait to get lost in a story.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

My business, Luminology, is focused on leadership coaching. Our mission is that “we work with leaders to illuminate growth opportunities”. What that means practically is that I coach people one-on-one to help them develop their leadership potential and be more effective at work. I usually start with a six-month engagement, and we meet about twice a month unless they need to talk more frequently. I love accompanying people on their quest for self-improvement. It brings me joy to see a client make a breakthrough, or gain an insight, or step out of their comfort zone to try something new.

My biggest challenge is that coaching as an industry is still relatively new and has a low barrier to entry, meaning anyone can call themselves a coach. More and more people are recognizing the value of hiring a coach to help with performance, but many people still don’t think about it as a tool they can use. It requires a certain amount of proactivity and willingness to invest in oneself. Many coaches offer online courses or lots of prepackaged content, but because my expertise is in helping people individually this approach hasn’t resonated with me. The magic is in connecting with another person and helping them improve, individually. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I can promise to ask good questions and walk with you on your journey.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The most important quality is discipline. A good definition for discipline is “ignoring something you want right now for something better later on”. It’s one of those skills that is simple but not necessarily easy. My best advice for people who are early on the journey is to start small and give yourself the opportunity to succeed. Set a goal that is so low you are almost guaranteed to achieve it, then gradually move the goalpost.

The second quality I embrace is curiosity. I love solving problems by simply wondering what would happen if I tried a certain approach. Or seeing if I can do something just by giving it a try. Staying curious tends to take the “sting” out of situations and fosters growth and movement (as opposed to stagnation).

The final quality that has served me well is openness. It’s similar to curiosity, and they certainly have some overlap, but by “openness” I mean the willingness to say yes to opportunities when they arise. I’ve had some of my greatest successes simply by being willing to try. It doesn’t always lead somewhere great, but I almost always learn something in the process. Any time I start thinking I have all the answers I usually end up eating a slice of “humble pie” when I realize I was wrong and that there is always something to learn.

How would you describe your ideal client?

My ideal client is interested in building their self-awareness and is willing to try something new in order to grow and improve. I am happy to work with leaders of all ages and career stage, but in reality, I usually do best working with emerging leaders. I believe this is because they are the most eager to grow and willing to acknowledge that they have a lot to learn. Motivation goes a long way toward success – you must actually want something in order to achieve it.

I offer a free 30 minute Discovery Meeting for anyone who wants to learn more about coaching and to see if I might be a good fit to help them take the next step on their journey of leadership excellence.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Headshots credited to Kara Marie Collective

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