We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Michael Riordan a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Michael, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I’m 45 years old and I can’t say that I am 100% confident all the time or that my self-esteem is always high. It fluctuates all the time. Sometimes I’m brimming with confidence, and other times I want to crawl under a rock and hide. But confidence is something that can be cultivated and it starts by realizing that the only person you have to ultimately answer to is yourself.
You will constantly meet people who tell you what to do or how to live your life . . . but none of them are living it for you. None of them have to live with the consequences of those decisions but you do.
My confidence skyrocketed when I finally came out as a Transgender Woman. I realized that the only person who could take actions that would make me feel at peace was myself. When you take that first step towards living the life you want, how you want, it changes everything.
Are you living your life the way you want it? Do you treat people with kindness and compassion? Do you have health relationships with people you respect? If the answer to those questions is yes, you have every reason to trust in yourself, be confident and have positive self-esteem.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I currently work at Compass LGBTQ+ Community Center. It is the only LGBTQ+ community center in Palm Beach County, FL. I found compass when I was 38 years old and having a pretty serious crisis. I had always known I was a transgender woman, but it took a very long time to admit it to myself on the level where I actually did something about it.
I didn’t know what to do or how to proceed. Then, I found Compass and my life changed forever.
In my current role, I get to meet a lot of people in the community. My favorite thing about working at Compass is seeing people become their authentic selves. So often people who are scared and don’t know what to do walk through our doors looking for help; just like I did. Now, I’m one of the people who has a chance to help someone figure all that out, just like others helped me. I love it.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Give yourself grace when times are tough
At times, we are our harshest critics. It takes patience and practice to forgive yourself, but it’s worth it.
2. Never hesitate to apologize when you are wrong
This is so hard for people to do. No one likes being wrong, but it happens. When you can apologize for a mistake, you are accepting responsibility for your actions and you are taking control of your own future. It is nothing to be scared of; let go of your ego and realize no one is perfect. Apologizing is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself and for others.
3. Let go of the things you can’t control
There are things in life we can control and things we can’t. I have always found that when I am at my worst and mot stressed, is when I am worrying about things that I cannot control. Focus on what you can. I can’t control if someone says or does something horrible, but I can control how I react to those things. Finding that balance between taking responsibility for what you can control and letting go of what you can’t can be difficult, but it’s a skill like any other. Practice it.
How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?
Right now, being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is incredibly challenging because of all the hate being directed at us. We are just people who want to have the opportunity to live the life that makes them happy . . . just like everyone else. It makes no sense to me to see so many people who claim to believe in freedom actively seek to limit my freedom to live my life as I see fit.
To stare down the abject hatred of so many people on a daily basis is definitely a challenge. But it is also an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to find the people in your life who bring you joy and can help you face whatever challenges you encounter. It becomes more important every day to stand up against that hatred, and in doing so, you show others they can stand against it also.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.compasslgbtq.com
- Instagram: @compasscenter
- Facebook: @compasscenter
