Meet Michela Parisi

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Michela Parisi. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Michela, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

This is one of my favorite topics to chat with clients about, especially my teenage and young adult clients. Having “self worth” or “high self esteem” seems to be a buzzword on social media and in the upcoming generation. It seems to be portrayed as something we “think” ourselves into. However, what the science shows and is backed by my personal experience is self confidence is built through action, not thought.

We do not think ourselves into confidence. We must prove to our selves by acting as someone with confidence, that we are confident. We need evidence for this trait to be solidified into our personality and our being.

So, when we don’t have confidence yet, but we decide to act with confidence anyways – it is scary! There is a term in the field of counseling called acting “as if”. This means that I act as though I am someone with confidence until I believe I am someone with confidence. The cool thing about this is the world will treat you as though you are someone with confidence while you are acting “as if” and then you get this reflection back to yourself that you are confident because you spark new interactions that wouldn’t come from someone with low self esteem.

At its core, you are creating positive momentum in a new direction. And to put it more simply…fake it ’til you make it.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Neurofeedback Clinician with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling. I own three mental health businesses: Connected Brain Counseling, The Men’s Mental Wellness Center and Michela Parisi Coaching.

Today, we are discussing the Men’s Mental Wellness Center however it grew out of my first practice, Connected Brain Counseling. We recognized after working with our population of women processing trauma at CBC that there were an immense amount of men needing mental health assistance that caters to their unique struggles, so MMWC was born to fill that need in Denver.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

  1. Self belief. Stemming back to an earlier question, you don’t need confidence to get started on a journey as an entrepreneur…or a client in therapy looking to make changes! You just need the belief that there is another way of living, feeling and being in the world that is better suited for you than the one you currently possess. If you don’t have that belief, you are likely making changes/acting in a way that suits someone else in your life and I don’t find this to be sustainable.
  2. A Good Work Ethic. There is a clear difference in the outcome of my clients who either put the work in or don’t. As a therapist and just as an empathetic woman, I want SO badly for all of my clients to put the work in to feel better. Unfortunately, many don’t. They may not be ready yet, but when we are looking for sustainable change it is clear that if you don’t do the work, nobody else will for you.Now is the time to make change, now is the time to take ahold of your life, and if you don’t have the ability to put your thoughts into action – figuring that part of yourself out is a beautiful place to start.
  3. Big Picture Thinking. It is incredibly easy to get overwhelmed and lost in the details, or the small building blocks, of what it takes to build something new. And rightfully so – there is such a learning curve that requires so much energy to overcome. But the big picture, your bigger “why” is something that I feel is important to stay firmly rooted in. It will take you through the hurdles, the struggles and the days where you don’t feel like moving forward. Getting clear on that sooner rather than later will change the outcome of your goal.

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

If you haven’t read “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel Van Der Kolk, it’s a must read. It talks about how our life experiences are held on a cellular level, both in the brain and the body. It talks about how trauma impacts your mental wellness and how difficult it can be to break these cycles. Clients call me often saying they found me because of what they took away from that book. It deeply impacts people and is a must read for those looking to understand themselves and those they love who have experienced adversity better.

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