We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Michele Mateus a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Michele, sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
This is such a curious question for me to even ponder as the list of traumas that I have experienced could be a mini series on Netflix that would have you both crying (a lot) and cheering on the hope that I have managed to keep alive in my heart through it all. I don’t think I have a ‘how’ I have overcome things, as I am still a work in progress but I can share that I am driven by my insatiable curiosity and chronic optimism, but not toxic positivity because I am also a realist. Oh and funny shows, I love to laugh, it truly is medicine.
Having grown up seeing how hard things were for my mother, I remind myself that I am not ready to give up, even on days when I really want to.
I was recently told I have PTSD from both childhood and my experience as a parent. I struggle more these days to keep it all together but my personal photography practice is what I always turn back to to give my brain a place to rest and focus, that and going to the gym, which trust me when I say I was never a gym person but I go 2-3 times a week now and really miss it when I can’t make it. I suspect in my earlier years my brain helped me to subconsciously mask to make it through it all, whatever that even means because I still have a lot of inner gunk to process. I was always one to be very engaged in community, volunteering and giving back however I can and I still do that despite all that I am carrying and I do find offering love and energy to others really helps, if we have capacity, to feel grounded beyond our personal struggles.
Being a photographer has also helped me a lot as well, in fact it truly did change my life. A lot of people thank you over and over again for the impact I had on them through working with me, and I have to remind people that I thank them too for the impact they had on me. Being a photographer is a two way energy exchange for me and having the opportunity to show someone what I see in them, something they may have never seen before is both special for me and them as it’s something I always wished I could have helped my mom see and why I became a photographer in the first place, so being behind the camera has helped me in so many ways.
Developing a personal creative practice, which currently is centered around photographing still life, has also helped me. This gives me time to slow down and create just for me, exploring new techniques and having fun for fun sake I think is so important for our mental health and something as adults we so often lose connection with.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I’ve been a photographer for over 10 years now, and have won International Awards for my work which was such a buzz for me! I aim to create images that are not just seen but felt, exploring the human condition which includes everything from joy to the deep inner melancholy in our hearts. My work exists at the intersection of art, self-discovery, and social justice, where portraiture becomes a space for reclamation and authentic expression. I started as a photographer shortly after my mother passed away at the age of 49 due to an aggressive experience with Breast Cancer. Growing up I witnessed my mother be treated horribly by my father and all I ever wanted was to show her that she mattered, that she was beautiful and that she was so worthy of all the love, which is what I aim to offer those who step in front of my camera.
What excites me most about my work is its refusal to conform. I’m not interested in perfection or conventional beauty standards and photoshopping people into looking like plastic, or even worse an AI version of themselves.
Instead, I’m all about the raw, the real, the untamed. I’ve come to think of my work as visual poems, capturing the textures, contradictions, and depths that make each person extraordinary.
My background in design and communications as well as community development helped me create my photographic style that blends together an editorial, emotionally resonant quality to portraits of everyday people who deserve to be photographed like they’re the most important subject in the world.
I work primarily with women, non-binary, and genderqueer individuals who are ready to see themselves beyond societal limitations, those seeking an experience that honors their evolution rather than trying to fix or change them. In a world that requires us to filter every inch of ourselves, I am wanting to liberate people from that and offer space to be playful, wild, and free with their self expression.
Currently, I’m focused on creative portrait sessions that transcend the typical “headshot” or “Sears Portraits” to create portraits that make you stop and really feel something beyond “oh that’s a pretty picture” I have a love for capturing quiet introspective moments, while also having a subtle intensity.
These are artistic, authentic images that capture essence and energy, not just appearance of someone or even at times something that happens to be in front of my lens. I’m also diving deeper into fine art photography, exploring themes around mental health and the ongoing work of dismantling perfectionism.
My practice is rooted in the belief that being witnessed and celebrated in your wholeness is a radical act, and I invite people to join me in a playful exploration of self. I will be launching fine art prints in the new year and an very excited to share my work in this new way.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I studied social justice in university and feminist theory and these have been lifelong interests of mine that I feel have grounded me in pushing against conformity and wanting to break out what is expected into what is truly reflective of someone.
Community Development – I worked in this area for almost 15 years before I started my business. This foundation that was building off my interests and education, allowed me the opportunity to connect with people from all walks of life, hearing their stories and learning how to truly see them.
Trauma – It sounds weird to say my trauma turned into a skill but I think it’s true! Having lived through and continuing to live through things I have I feel it has allowed me so much space to be empathic and full present when with others.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
The biggest challenge that has been my challenge since day one as a photographer is being up against the obsession with perfection, the desire to be photoshopped and adults having difficulty allowing themselves to be fully present, honouring who they are in this moment. Society and capitalism sure has done a number on us, and while we know this we simply struggle to pull away from this toxic narrative that no one can achieve. As not only a photographer but an artist who wants to create work with depth and meaning, going beyond what is expected to lift the mask and libertate folks, this is incredibly hard to do when the world thrives on us hating ourselves to keep capitalism running.
So many adults think they are boring, that they ‘lost it’ and really seem to be disconnected with who they are in this moment. I get why this happens as well and can relate as just this year found out I am Autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) which felt like it changed everything and nothing at all at the same time. I found this out as I am a mother to a child who is AuDHD and with high support needs who can no longer attend school and the struggle is real when you not only a parent but a caregiver full time, and I started to wonder about myself through this process so my curiosity (there is it again!) led me to getting my own assessment.
I think the key here is to try and be curious about yourself, find little ways to play and explore who you are. This is why I am falling in love with photographing flowers and elements of nature that I find along my walks. It keeps me feeling grounded in my artistry and gives me something of my own to do, and keeps me feeling like an artist, a part of my identity I took so long to cultivate and one I never want to let go of. The thing about trying to find ourselves when we feel like we are boring and have ‘lost it’ is that sometimes, and I speak for myself too here, we are looking for who we were before, but we have evolved, things do change and so the hardest part can be that acceptance piece and awareness that who we might see in the mirror reflected at us is now different, and that is ok.
As I am in a season of personal reflection and processing a lot of trauma and also trying to be a mother and caregiver for a child who I am always told by professionals is “complex” I know all too well how this question of identity and wanting to feel a sense of joy and freedom feels so far to reach. While I have never been one to care about conformity, I can see why it seems like the easy way out. Do what others are doing, keep to what is expected and stay the course as then others may not notice who you truly are and what you are going through, and for many the reality is that it can be unsafe to be a full expression of themselves, and this makes me sad.
To overcome this challenge I will keep trying my best to shout from the rooftops that I am here to hold a brave space for people to explore who they are, and see themselves as art, which doesn’t need to be understood or appreciated by all, but is complex and beautiful to allow oneself to experience, taking that step towards self liberation from whatever has held us back.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.mateusstudios.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mateusstudios/ and https://www.instagram.com/mateusbotanicals
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mmateus/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@mateusstudios
- Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mateus_studios
Image Credits
Michele Mateus
