We were lucky to catch up with Michelle Caprio recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Michelle, so happy to have you on the platform and I think our readers are in for a treat because you’ve got such an interesting story and so much insight and wisdom. So, let’s start with a topic that is relevant to everyone, regardless of industry etc. What do you do for self-care and how has it impacted you?
Like most transitions, my new season as an entrepreneur began with shedding the old life and roles I had previously enjoyed through an unexpected turn of events. It was a difficult transition, overlaid with pain, anxiety, confusion and regrets. The day this journey began was September 1, 2021. I was at work, or at least my body was at work. Against policy, my cell phone was on the desk, easily within reach. My boss had said, under the circumstances, of course that was okay. I caught myself just staring at the monitor in front of me. Glancing at the clock, I sighed quietly. Twenty minutes gone. I had been silently reflecting on these last weeks, reliving the passing of my sister Judi from cancer. Only five weeks ago – how life had changed for my family in such a short time!!! And now this…I got up, stretched, picked up my phone and decided to get some tea. Going down the hall, I noticed the averted glances, the stilled conversations, the looks of pity and sadness. Impending death has a way of bringing out relationships into the open rather quickly. I grabbed my tea and murmured polite responses to those who came over to give me a hug, but quickly retreated into my sanctuary of sorrow, my fortress of fear. And shut the door. A few minutes minutes later, my cell phone rang. I jumped, startled. I slowly picked it up and answered it. “Michelle, this is Pam…she’s gone.”
No one can actually prepare for the future. Oh, we all have the illusion of planning our lives, but realistically, the curveballs of life will always substantially change those plans and away you go again, head and heart spinning crazily and now traveling on a totally new path in a different direction. After Judi passed, mom needed care so my husband and I invited her to come and live with us in Virginia Beach. This meant I would need to resign from my guidance counselor position, a role I deeply loved and found immense satisfaction in performing, to provide mom with the care she would require. Another deep loss to grieve, but one willingly made for her. We turned our garage into a room suitable for her physical handicap, read up on the special caretaking needs that an 89 year old using a walker would need, talked with others who had similar circumstances, and equipped ourselves as much as we could for her arrival. What we were not able to prepare for was the sudden and unexpected death of my youngest sister Lisa from a massive bacterial infection. We couldn’t locate her for three days and by the time we did, she was lying unresponsive in an ICU hospital bed. Mom took her off life support two days later. Regrets, questions, more loss and grief became my unwilling and unwanted companions. I shrugged them away – there was no time for such luxuries. Mom was on her way.
When talking with others about that time I often compare it to groping and stumbling blindfolded in the darkness, falling off a cliff ledge and wildly reaching for a branch sticking out beyond the cliff’s edge. I experienced “lost time” – gaps in my memory that frightened me and stole away every bit of confidence in my ability to function normally. Whatever normal was at that time. I tried to meet mom’s emotional needs but how does one fill another’s cup when theirs is bone dry? Under even ordinary circumstances, this would have been a challenge, and these were definitely NOT ordinary circumstances. ? As a person of faith I never questioned God’s sovereignty, but as I process all the changes in my life I began to wonder, “”Who am I?” All my identity had been wrapped up in my position as an educator, a wife, a daughter and any other role that I needed to assume at the moment. Now – well – everything that happened changed that self-image. I was adrift, cast off from all that was familiar and safe in a life that bore no resemblance whatsoever to the previous life I had led prior to these huge shifts.
It was at this point I discovered the healing power of journaling and personal affirmations. Late at night after mom was in bed and Ben and I had stolen a few precious minutes of privacy together, I would go to my office, exhausted, and relax with a daily “ I AM” challenge posted on a Facebook page. I would speak the affirmations out loud when I was afraid, when I was exhausted, when I was drained. At first I kept them to myself but gradually, very gradually, I started to share them with others. The response was immediately and definitively positive! I compiled them together and over the next three years polished the writing until it was ready to be published. I have discovered the healing power of journaling and spoken affirmations as I worked through my own grief story. I also practice Yang style tai chi often, finding the slow, rhythmic movements restful. Having that outlet was a blessing and filled my emotional cup so I had the physical and emotional energy to take care of mom.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I live in beautiful Virginia Beach, VA with my husband Ben and rescue dog Stella. In 1996, after earning my advanced Educational Specialist degree at Old Dominion University, I developed a side business, Wings of Eagles Educational Services, primarily focused on meeting the guidance and assessment needs of homeschooling parents and students. Later I expanded my market into traditional public and private schools by adding a certification in DISC and other leadership development assessment tools. Upon my unplanned retirement to take care of mom, however, I started all over as a solopreneur, which required learning business skills and marketing. I completed advanced certification in Yang style tai chi and presently teach tai chi and chair tai chi in local recreation centers and a senior care center. What a beautiful blending of my art and business! My mindfulness training in tai chi eased the bumpy road to reframing my life and now provides income as well. I am in the process of developing “mindful leadership training”, a blend of Western productivity principles and Eastern mindfulness and spiritual training. For the immediate present, I am bravely venturing into the wild and uncharted world of publishing and marketing my book. In November 2024, I published my first book, “EMPOWERED THINKING, EMPOWERED LIFE: 365 “I AM” DECLARATIONS FOR RESILIENT LIVING”. It offers a beacon of hope and strength for the daily walk through life. and encourages readers to align their thoughts and self-identity in Christ, empowering them to draw strength, peace, and resilience from their oneness with God. The book’s approach is both deeply personal and universally resonant, helping readers to reframe their lives through powerful daily “I AM” declarations designed to foster growth, healing, and connection to our Oneness with God.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I believe that three core mindsets and skills guide my journey during this transition period in my life. The first is my belief that God is in control of my life events – even if I cannot immediately see His purpose. During that recent turbulent and very dark period of my loss and grief journey afterwards, I always had the sense of purpose through the pain that I was experiencing. I am NOT saying that there were not periods of doubt, of confusion and of overwhelm. Even in the middle of these times, though, I doggedly hung onto the one constant belief that God was working everything out for my greatest good. As I searched for the meaning and my purpose in this new (and admittedly undesired) season of my life, God DID come through! My newest book of positive affirmations, EMPOWERED THINKING, EMPOWERED LIFE: 365 DAILY DECLARATIONS FOR RESILIENT LIVING, is actually the travel log of this journey of self-exploration.
Secondly, I have found that a teachable spirit is a great asset for growth and resilience in any season. There is a whole universe of new places, inside of myself and beyond myself in God’s physical creation, to see and learn about and explore. I remain curious and open to unknown topics and approach a new challenge as an opportunity for personal expansion and growth. Mistakes? Merely feedback from a life experiment. I can learn from them and try again. Obstacles? Simply intellectual puzzles to solve. Oh, the joy experienced after untangling a thorny problem to its successful conclusion! Fear? That challenge is more difficult to unravel, but the path for self-exploration and knowledge requires truth, honesty and integrity in all aspects. Moving through fear may take some time, support, and a large dose of courage…but looking into my soul through the mirror glass of authentic journaling was the first door that I had to open for healing to start and for true growth to begin.
Thirdly, outside support is key to successful navigation through the murky and turbulent waters of transition. I am blessed with two such support groups. The first one is an online professional growth community called Empowered Living, founded by Mr. Paul Martinelli. This community of coaches and business owners of companies worldwide rallied around me and formed a circle of support through the entire process of initial grieving. As I transitioned from traditional employee to entrepreneur, the men and women of the EL family offer support, advice, access and both personal and business coaching to get me off and running. On the home front, my workplace, tai chi brothers and sisters, and church family offer practical help such as grief counseling, friendship, and just sitting and listening when needed. No person can succeed change alone – you need a diverse network of people, perspectives, backgrounds to help you make sense of the changes you will experience in a transition of life. Learn to be a gracious receiver, accepting with gratitude help that is offered, and just relax and breathe.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
When life gets overwhelming, I have three default strategies, First, I relax through tai chi, my mindfulness practice of choice. I love the stress busting breathwork and the moving meditation aspect of this beautiful art as it calms my “monkey mind” as well as provides low impact exercise. Really, though, any mindfulness practice that incorporates breathwork will work – yoga, prayer, meditation – they all soothe the troubled spirit, fearful mind and stressed out body! Another strategy is to journal. For many years, I had an incorrect view of journaling. I confused the typical retelling and logging of EVENTS with authentically looking behind the emotions and thoughts that I experienced through journaling. As a woman of faith, I began to write down my prayers to God, choosing a passage of Scripture and speaking it back to Him. Words fail to describe the incredible breakthroughs and transformation that have happened as I practice this powerful form of self-exploration. The journal entries can be a few sentences, especially as you start the practice. That’s okay. Finally, I practice speaking empowering “I AM” affirmations sourced in my core beliefs out loud during the day. This breaks the vicious cycle of self-criticism and condemnation that my inner critic uses to disable my confidence and distract me from my purpose. They interrupt the destructive patterns of regret and limiting beliefs that would rear their ugly heads when I failed in my new life or made mistakes as I learned new skills. It didn’t happen overnight, but as my season of sorrow began to shift – so very slowly at first – I began to feel lighter, happier and more in control. It’s feels so wonderful to laugh again, hope again, live again!
The counsel I would give to those in the tight grip of loss is to seek community and graciously receive their help. They will help you find meaning in the mess that your life might be at the time. Be patient with yourself, forgive the mistakes that a new season creates, and, most importantly, make time for self-care. I would often find myself exhausted and out of sorts when I put aside my own care to help mom or my clients. Remember it is a SEASON, that it will pass, and the good you harvest from the season will be the foundation for the true miracle of transformation that is growing unseen within yourself. Your night will end and your dawn is coming! To you brave explorers starting out in a new business or venture, I boldly say, “Hold on tight to who you are as a beautiful human being. Be kind to yourself, do the hard work, and face your fears and the emotions that come with it. Most importantly, network, breathe gratitude and look to the future with hope. The chaos that comes with new beginnings will ease, order will return, and the new normal will be amazing!” You’ll be amazed at the transformations that will happen inside your heart and soul. Enjoy the ride!!!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.wingsofeaglesed.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.caprio.3/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-caprio-6346861a/
Image Credits
BF Photo Factory for the family portrait. Usage rights secured by author
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