Meet Michelle Miltenberger

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Michelle Miltenberger. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Michelle below.

Michelle, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

This has been a life-long journey so far. When I was a teenager I was tall and lanky, with bad skin, and did not feel like I fit in very well. I hated my body, and I tried to tailor my personality towards the girls in school that were popular. I was also taught, like most young girls, that we always have to be polite, that others’ comfortability is more important than our own. When I was in my 20s, I tried to be the person that society expected of me. I worked a job that I had no interest in, simply because it made sense on paper. I had a string of challenging bosses that led by fear and micro-management, so I was constantly told my performance was not good enough, that I was not good at my job, and when I was acting in my true nature, that I was too much. I had completely lost myself and lost my voice. I felt guilty for taking up space. It finally took a romantic relationship with a narcissist and feeling like I had hit a dead end with my “career”, that I decided to begin making big changes to shift the situations that I kept finding myself in. I made a vow to myself to be ME, whatever that looks like, even if that’s too much for some people, or does not fit the mold that they expect me to fit in. It has taken years and a lot of therapy, but I can finally stand in my place at 34 years old and genuinely say that I am the most confident and in-love with myself that I have ever been. Every day it requires work – I have to consistently choose myself. I don’t do things anymore because it’s the “polite” thing, or something I “should” do. I move and make decisions based on what I want. And not in the selfish way that society paints, but in a way that I know as long as I am leading from my heart, with service to the collective in mind, I am in the exact right place.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am one of the owners of The Space Fort Lauderdale, a wellness center in Fort Lauderdale that provides innovative recovery modalities, such as guided breathwork classes, cold plunge, sauna, and red light therapy. We have a dynamic and exciting environment at The Space, attracting everyone from stay-at-home moms to professional athletes, and everyone in between. People come to The Space to recover – whether from chronic pain and autoimmune symptoms, or after a stressful day at work or intense workouts. We have an open concept which allows for the fostering of community and personal connection. We have the best staff on the planet, who will walk you through the entire process, making sure you feel confident and cared for, especially if it’s your first time!

In an effort to give back to the community, our signature Guided Breathwork sessions are free every Thursday. Breathwork is an amazing modality that can help clear trauma, energize, and ground. It’s an active meditation, which is perfect for individuals with busy minds and anxiety. Many people have never heard of breathwork, so we are encouraging anyone who is interested to try.

We are in the process of opening The Space in Delray Beach, and will have many more locations within the next few years.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

There have been so many things that have been so impactful on my journey. I think the biggest is making a true and dedicated effort to get to know myself and to live in my truth. I would not be where I am, in a life that I truly and absolutely love, if I had never taken the time to really excavate all of my negative beliefs, patterns, actions, and then reconstructed all of it to be what I want and who I authentically am. It was painful at times, looking back on the things that have impacted me, seeing the ways that it shaped me and the damage it caused in my past, but it was work that was worth every second of discomfort. I have been able to take major leaps of faith, based only on an idea and an intuitive feeling, because I know who I am and I know what is true for me. I also give so much credit to community and the people/relationships that I have cultivated on my entire journey. I remember years ago a mentor told me “success is who you know,” which, at the time, made sense as I was working in finance in NYC and saw nepotism on every corner. What I didn’t realize is the truest meaning of that phrase – that success, whether monetary, personal, spiritual, whatever, comes when there is community.

If you are just starting out on your journey, start with yourself. Are you happy with yourself? Do you notice undesirable patterns in your actions or even the people that are in your life? Are you taking these steps because you feel it in your body, or is it because this is something you feel you “should” do, or you think it will make you rich quickly? Journal often and get a therapist if your wallet and schedule will allow, and don’t be afraid to uncover things that are uncomfortable. Discomfort is what allows us to grow and be better. We’re here in this lifetime to evolve, whatever that looks like for you. Embrace the hard stuff because the GREAT is just around the corner!

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

I feel overwhelmed often, and I think I can say the same for so many people. Life requires so much of us at all times – to perform, produce, be responsible, and move with urgency. Especially during the process of opening up The Space, I was finishing a Master’s degree, working as a Therapist, working as a CrossFit Coach, and trying to turn this business idea and dream into a reality. I had never opened a business nor thought I would be a business owner, and between that and school, I had so many things thrown at me, so many things urgently needing my attention.

I found that when I feel the most overwhelmed is when I need to stop. We think that pushing through, getting through our endless To-Do lists, and “hustling” is the right way to move through overwhelm. In reality, that did not work for me, it just caused me tremendous frustration, exhaustion, and burn out. So when I finally reached a point where I needed to just stop, take the day off, do nothing productive, ignore my phone calls or emails, the overwhelm dissipated. Sometimes a few hours on the beach does the trick, sometimes a breathwork class, or (my favorite) taking myself on a solo field trip to somewhere cool like the Sunflower fields in Homestead, worked like magic. We need to remind ourselves that we are valuable simply by existing. Though productivity is nice and required to create, the things we produce are not what makes us valuable. Our productivity and creativity also do not generally operate in a linear fashion. Some days I am in the zone and can get through hours of work in no time, finish projects that I have been putting off, and it all feels energizing and amazing. Some days the act of responding to an email feels like the most laborious thing in the world. It’s all a balance. I find I no longer try to force it. The days that I am in a productivity-vortex, I optimize that energy, get through as much as I can, knowing a lull is right around the corner.

We all have different energy cadences, and different expectations/performance requirements, however tuning into your patterns and also TAKING REST is the most important thing you can do.

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