Meet Mike Barsamian

We recently connected with Mike Barsamian and have shared our conversation below.

Mike, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

This is a really fascinating question. My growth in both of these areas began in 2017 when I was introduced to Dr. Steve Byrum and the Hartman Value Profile. I met Dr. Byrum in a season of burnout and questioning my calling and effectiveness in my work. Thankfully my organization had the wisdom to put me in a coaching and development program, and I dove in.

One of the important things I learned, have applied to my life, and teach my clients is that everything that can grow and change must be managed for it’s healthy development, and anything that needs to be managed must be measured.

Confidence, high or low, indicates how much we trust in ourselves. Confidence literally means “with-fidelity” (the latin Con-Fidere). While we don’t use the word fidelity very often today, it is about having sturdiness, certainty, and being trustworthy. Confidence, as I teach it and grow it in my life, means measuring three things that make me sturdy, dependable, and resilient. The three things I look at are my level of competence (know-how), Clarity (who am I and what am I aiming at), and being care-full (am I rested and prioritizing my internal needs). By paying attention to these three things I’m able to grow and maintain healthy confidence. take anyone of these away and you can see how self-confidence would have a wobble. Sometimes developing confidence is finding it in simple things. Start with competence. What is something you can improve in over the next 4-6 weeks? I’ve found that building confidence in one area of our lives will help it grow in other areas.

Self-esteem, on the other hand is different and complementary to self-confidence. Self-Esteem is how much I respect/esteem myself. Do I believe I have high or low self-worth? Interestingly both of these things can be measured and assessed whether they are in balance or are too low or too high. Self-esteem demands more and regular attention to grow – I believe conditioning our self-esteem is one of the most important things we can do weekly.

Through high accountability from my coach and mastermind team, and my wonderful relationship with my family, friends, and the Lord I’m able to keep these in check. I’ve been able to improve the health of both my self-esteem and confidence (despite having low confidence and low self-esteem influenced by traumatic childhood relationships). Today, my drive for transformation in the lives of teens, parents, and their families keeps me motivated to be healthy in both of these areas. To show up in my fullest power and presence for my family, friends, and clients I want to have healthy confidence and self-esteem.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’m a professional coach serving parents and teenagers struggling in their relationship through the teen years. I’ve worked with families for over 20 years and have coached and counseled thousands of teenagers and trained and mentored hundreds of adults to have meaningful relationships with teenagers. I’ve had the pleasure of working as a pastor and youth pastor, counselor to teens, coach to teens and parents, and consultant to schools and businesses serving teenagers.

I’m the founder of Present Solution for Parents and the author of the PACE method of parenting. I also have worked for Young Life and am currently the campus chaplain at Ontario Christian High School.

Parenting teenagers is tough. Period. Parents need and deserve support. After helping teens grow and change over the last two decades I noticed that the ones that didn’t continue to grow, and in fact ended up not doing well through high school and the college years, were the ones who went home to parents who were not doing well and didn’t know how to connect with their teen or get present at home. This broke my heart.

So I committed my energy to help career-driven parents who feel lost and disconnected from their teens break the cycle of conflict, guilt, and self-doubt, so they can rebuild trust, create a peaceful-loving-relationship, and set their teen on a path to thrive—while reclaiming their own confidence, energy, and joy as a parent.

parents can connect with my masterclass, podcast, social media channels, and subscribe to my emails at www.presentsolutionforparents.com. I also offer regular webinars helping parents solve major issues and offer free relationship assessment calls to help families find the right course of action for their season and goals.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Thinking about my journey and knowing where I’m headed over the next few years, the first quality is my faith. Knowing that God has good plans for me and the world keeps me grounded knowing that I can overcome the problems and issues that come up in the regular course of life and business. My faith informs and inspires my purpose – to renew and support families in healthy relationships.

I learned early on that the three things that ground you, so you can work through anything and find motivation, are faith, friendships, and hobbies. I try to engage in each of these weekly if not daily. My advice to anyone is to first make sure you’re grounded in meaningful ways.

I believe one of the most important skills to have is reflection and mediation. These two skills are critical to learn from our experiences, grow personally, and chart a path forward in our relationships and our work. It’s remarkable how many free and accessible resources exist now to help people grow in this area.

Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?

For me, there are a number of people in my life – past and present – that have shown me how, and helped me, overcome challenges and build important skills to be resilient and resourceful in any circumstance or situation. I’ve learned how to find knowledge in relevant ways, adapt to difficult situations, be innovative, shift my mindset, reduce inner-criticism, coach my self, find peace in seasons of chaos, read and meditate on the Bible, set goals, and so much more. The reality is – it’s not just one person it’s many. It’s important that we seek out mentors, trust their advice, and give them permission to keep us accountable. In my experience, the key to a successful/wealthy life in the areas of relationships and finances and having a meaningful impact in the world comes down to accountability. Most people do not want to be held accountable, but it is the most important part of the transformational equation in our lives.

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