We were lucky to catch up with Mistress Schari recently and have shared our conversation below.
Mistress Schari, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
Honestly I think this is the easiest task to overcome. I enjoy being underestimated, I love surprising people. So if I am the only “one of me” in the room, this is to my advantage. I will have the opportunity to wow and impress anyone who presumed to know what I was like, or are shocked to discover what I can do. I tap into the idea that .. you (meaning the audience) don’t know what I know so buckle up. Its very invigorating and reaffirming when people come up to me after a presentation to tell me they are surprised I taught them something they thought they were an expert about. I am often thanked for creating a comprehensive presentation and presenting it so well. I believe it is why I am always being invited back to present at conventions I presented at before. And, not gonna lie, it’s extremely satisfying on my end.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I never predicted a career in kink or developing a business that serves the kink community but here I am. I began as a sex toy consultant doing “those parties” and I always had experiences from my past to share. Mostly involving BDSM, everyone would ask me questions. My parties became very popular and everyone loved the education they got combined with my sales technique. Then that infamous book came out, 50 Shades and the questions I was receiving began to turn into advice. So I developed kink education classes to teach to those who were curious or serious about what a real BDSM relationship is like. So Is tarted with Kink Class for Couples. During this time I met a professional Dominatrix and I asked her to mentor me so that I can further help couples. As a pro-Domme I have expanded to session with any gender that seeks a session, I’ve increased my class offerings, and turned my home into an open space for the kink community to play and learn about kink.
Mischief Manor (the community side of my company Mischief Matters) is my 3rd dungeon space that i created and instead of just being confined to a second bedroom in an apartment, I am now in the basement of a private home. not only is the space big enough for lots of equipment, but it is also large enough to accommodate events for about 35 people. Once a month I open the dungeon for a play party, a crafting munch, a rope workshop and other kink driven classes. The easiest way to find out about our events is through our Fetlife page.
Even though it is a tremendous amount of work that I do almost all by myself with the help of my two submissives, I do love it. For one solitary reason, more times than not someone will come over to me during one of my events and thank me. They thank me for creating a safe space in which they feel welcome and not judged. They thank me for providing an opportunity for them to learn and practice their kinks. That is what makes it all worth it.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
One of them is so easy, I was involved in Landmark Education for 20 years, I led seminars to large groups of people and was a life coach within the programs. It taught me all the tools I need to experience people. How to engage and inspire and motivate those around you.
Second, I’m a woman. That alone has motivated me to stand up and advocate for myself because we all know no one else will do it for you. Society often tells women that they can’t or that we are never good enough. Don’t get me wrong these fears and inadequacies plague me all the time, but I am determined not to let it beat me. My mother once told me you have to fake it till you make it, I hate when she’s right, but in this instance she is 100% right, when I feel less than, or have low confidence or I doubt myself, I pretend it’s all ok and do it anyway and sure enough it always is.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman.
As a Landmark graduate, I immediately recognized a lot of similarities between what Mr. Millman teaches and what I learned at Landmark. it’s probably why I enjoyed this book so much, I’ve read it multiple times. I recommend it a lot too. I love it because it really focuses on how you have more control over your immediate space than we think we do. It emphasizes personal responsibility and overcoming challenges without victimizing yourself in the process. I have always been someone who just would rather do it herself because no one else will do it my way. But that can be overwhelming and it doesn’t get you friends. landmark and the teachings in this book have taught me how to be effective in aligning people to want to choose to do things my way in an effort to help me. It teaches me how to effectively compromise and motivate others to share my vision so that they will be interested in helping me achieve it, with something for themselves at stake, rather than just doing it because I said so and would be disappointed if they didn’t. Its far more inspiring and sustainable.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.mischiefmatters.com
- Other: At the moment we are very limited in our social media because of the political climate.
Image Credits
catnip_boi for all Mischief Matters photos with company logo
Christine Cicor for all pics with the Cicor logo on it
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
