Meet Molly McDowell

We were lucky to catch up with Molly McDowell recently and have shared our conversation below.

Molly, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.

Overcome? Ha. That’s rich.

I feel like “overcome” is the wrong word. People who “overcome” something actually go through it, not over or around it. So, if we go by an understanding of going through, then I’d say I’m probably somewhere in the middle, not the end.

I have definitely not stopped having imposter syndrome, but I’ve made progress. I’ve become much more aware of the voice in my head or my heart that says, “you’re not good enough,” and worse, “you never will be.”

Imposter syndrome typically happens when we project what we actually think of ourselves onto other people. If other people actually say it, that’s something else. There’s also a difference between a true limit, a boundary and doubt or fear. Knowing your true limits and keeping boundaries keeps you from accepting work that’s really out of your range. But if you’re just afraid to – think again.

One of the best things for me to learn in my time as a photographer, and employee, has been that maybe what I view as “enough” is not what other people think is enough. My threshold for “enough” is incredibly, probably impossibly high – and I’m still learning to be comfortable saying that. Other people typically demand less of me than I do. Practically, that takes shape in a lot of forms. Last year was the first time in 5 years where I actually stopped a photoshoot at the end of the 20-minute allotted time. It felt like a big deal to me, and I celebrated. That voice demands perfection, not humanity. And if we keep tossing around that beloved Hannah Montana line “Nobody’s Perfect,” we better start believing it.

We battle imposter syndrome by celebrating often and speaking with grace. We arm ourselves with a lot of “not yets” and “that’s okay” and “I’m still learning that.” Maybe the “I can’t” and “This better go right” can turn to “We’ll see how this goes.” Recognize your worst case scenarios. Try some new things just because someone asked you to – that’s how I’ve expanded my clientele and found my style. Photograph, draw, speak, move in the way that interests you. Capture the part of life that inspires you—but don’t quit just because you hit a road block. Once we get to know our frail limits, we can see them as a gift. Living with the deep anxiety of “what if someone will see me for who I really am” or “I’ve been kidding myself and everyone else this whole time” never helps anyone. It just thrusts you into work mode, whether that’s thinking, fixing, figuring it out, or analyzing.

Overcome? Nope. I’m still in the middle. But I’m better at recognizing that voice, and seeing the patterns and switching gears. And when I don’t, I’ll cry for a little, eat some Trader Joes ice cream, and try again tomorrow.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

My passion has always been to tell a story in photos. I picked up a camera because girls in my middle school took cute selfies and posted them on Instagram and I wanted to try. So, I found my mom’s Canon Rebel XTI, put on an outfit that looked like I didn’t try too hard, stood in front of my window and started posing. When friends would come over, we’d take photos in the yard or the park for a new profile picture, and I always liked the pictures I took of my friends more than the pictures of me. This was the age when “candid” photos were just starting to be popular. I’d take the camera downstairs during our backyard patio Easters and would sit and snap away at my Great Grandfather laughing, and my Dad putting his arm around my Mom.

I’ve gone through a ton of names for my business. For the time being. I’ve landed here at Spirit Photography. Spirit Photography is a passion project seeking to to learn your story and capture not just what you see, but how you feel. I want to learn about, honor, and celebrate the spirit of your story. Whether you’re graduating, getting the family together, or celebrating a milestone, I would be honored if you allowed me into your story to share its uniqueness and beauty. We’ll take a TON of photos, giggle, hug, share fun facts, and maybe even shed a few joyful tears, but there is always room for you to be just as you are.

I’ve been recognized with an Honorable Mention award at the Orange County Fair, and one of my photos hangs in Costa Mesa City Hall (the firefighter photo). I’m proud to support the Poway Rodeo (51st Anniversary is on September 27-28) and Sam’s Posse, a non-profit organization seeking to create accessible and inclusive activities and play spaces for individuals of all abilities. You can see my images on the Poway Rodeo and Sam’s Posse websites. I’m also available for senior, couple, or family photoshoots in the fall and winter.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

I’d advise budding creatives to dare to be curious. Curiosity will keep you going when there’s no business. Cultivate the way your creative mind sees things by continuing to engage in your art. Then, engage in someone else’s art. Form a group, if you’re just learning. Do what I did and trade photoshoots with another up-in-comer. Ask and answer questions. Pick up some photography books, and try shooting different subjects or editing different ways.

2. If you don’t know what direction you want to go, start by looking at patterns in the things you already do or have done. When I decided what major to pick for college, I looked at my comfort levels, interests, values, and hobbies. I noticed that my favorite parts of school were writing and analyzing. I liked talking to people at community events. I volunteered at a non-profit where I would naturally gravitate towards welcoming and talking to people. I loved speaking, leading, and learning. It was easy for me to make friends and enjoy my clients – I was just so glad they were there! So, I studied Communication, and never once looked back.

3. Don’t be too generous, don’t be too greedy. Don’t do it for the money; you’ll lose your spark. Don’t perpetually undervalue yourself; you’ll do more harm than good. Undervaluing yourself can mean charging too low if you have the experience—it can also mean having a terrible work-life balance. I used to edit photoshoots in 2 hours and deliver 70 photos because I couldn’t really rest until it was done. I do not advise that. Find a balance that makes sense for your clients.

4. Get to know your clients, and enjoy them. I get it, not all clients are going to be your best friends. But, many, many of my clients are friends of my friends. The more they feel comfortable with you, the more you will continue to be in their lives. This goes back to my earlier point, but making friends with your clients, or even just doing what you can to make them comfortable and feel listened to makes a huge difference. Speak to their kids and get on their level. Walk slower with the older folks. Ask about their lives, jobs, and what they did this week.

Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?

I have done an incredible amount of growth in the last year – and sometimes I still think it’s not enough because my limits, my insecurities, and old ways of thinking still come back. If you want to know the full story, lets get coffee sometime. But the gist is, I finally recognized that some of my ways of thinking were not as helpful as I once thought. What I thought was intuition or conviction, was actually anxiety and I needed to learn what that meant. I needed help, so I got some over and over again. I learned what thoughts and patterns of thinking were worth my involvement, and what weren’t. I learned I wasn’t as unique, or as crazy or unknowable, as I once thought I was. I timidly, but bravely, let people in, and I found out I wasn’t that alone. I learned to celebrate “normal.” I rekindled my voice.

I had some solid pieces of wisdom shared with me that I’ll share with you:

“This is hard because it’s hard, not because you’re doing something wrong.”
“Not every thought you have is a thought you think.”
“Rest is just as important as the work.”
“You don’t have to figure it out.”

I got to know myself a little more the last year, and what I learned the most were my limits, my failures, my proclivities, my lacks in wisdom, and my fantastic need for grace.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://spiritphotographybymm.mypixieset.com/
• Instagram: @spiritphotography.mm
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/spiritphotography.mm/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/molly-mcdowell-b500b61b4/

Image Credits

The photo of me is by Honey Photographs

The black and white of the firefighter is the award winning photograph