Meet Molly Noori

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Molly Noori. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Molly below.

Hi Molly, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

I just settled in at a local coffee shop. I found a quant marble table with comfy leather chairs next to a picturesque window. I grab a matcha, open my laptop, turn on my tunnel vision and get ready to write…nothing.
Zero thoughts are being formed in my head. I quickly realize I’m being stumped by the word “resilience.” Of course, I know the meaning of the word. If there was ever a movie made about me it could easily be titled “Resilience- story of a woman who needs a year long spa day.”
But when I had to start thinking about where my resilience comes from I started to think about it differently.
So I did what any millennial would do in this situation. I Googled “resilience def”:

Resilience
noun: resiliency; plural noun: resiliencies
1.
the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

Capacity. This word instantly stood out. To me this is the rub. How the hell do I have the capacity to continuously withstand and recover from difficulty after difficulty year after year. How did I get so tough?

Throughout my life I have been met with a series of challenges. When I was four I started showing signs of OCD and anxiety both of which got worse as I got older and (once I started college) be accompanied by the occasional (often situational) periods of depression. Freshman year of high school I got mono and after that my physical symptoms started gradually showing up. During grad school these symptoms became bad enough to land me in the ER multiple times. Eventually (10 years after the first ER visit) I would be formally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s disease, dysautonomia, IBS, and some other rheumatological and mixed tissue connective disease issues that have yet to be formally diagnosed. Throw in being a single mom until after grad school, long Covid, two miscarriages, a very rough couple of years for my teenager (who also has Fibro and Hashimoto’s), a non-benign Thyroid nodule, and a toddler and you are looking at someone who has experienced life altering, super stressor events, at least once a year for, well, a long time.

This past year I have became very public about all of my health issues and am often asked presented with a response that is something to the effect of “Wow, you’re so positive” “How do handle it all?” “You have so much tenacity” So this is not the first time I have pondered why or how I handle everything in the way that I do. Why am I not more bitter? Why am I not jealous of able bodied people? Why am I not more pessimistic? How much of my attitude is nature vs nurture? Would I respond differently if I didn’t have an incredible spouse and support team behind me? Would I allow myself to be more negative if I weren’t cognizant of the fact that I’m setting an example for my kids? I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that I would not have the mindset (it’s basically a lifestyle at this point) of overcoming, bouncing back stronger than before, using my struggles as inspiration and helping others if it weren’t for my dad. I almost wrote “if it weren’t what my dad went through” but that would not be giving him due credit because it’s how my dad chose to respond to what he went through that still sticks with me today.

Let me rewind a bit. My dad found out he was sick when I was about 6 years old. We were at an afternoon showing of the animated film Ferngully. At one point there must have been a particularly funny moment and I remember laughing and turning to my dad to see his reaction but he had fallen asleep. It was odd and unlike him to miss out- especially on a daddy daughter date. This was the first time I realized something was wrong. My dad had hepatitis C. Eventually this would turn into cancer and despite a (briefly successful) liver transplant, it would take his life. My dad died when I was twenty two- just three weeks after my first child was born. I could write a whole book about how much that year sucked. I was an undergrad with a new baby, horrible postpartum issues and now my dad was gone. Although all those experiences definitely contributed to my toughness, what I want to focus on is what I learned from my dad during those sixteen years that he was sick.

My dad was an artist- a potter and musician. He was the kind of guy who would craft an impromptu design in his mind and have it brought to life in a ridiculously short period of time. And I’m not talking small things. One time I came home from school and my dad had built an entire deck in our back yard. In like 8 hours. It even housed a hidden pool under the main platform. Creativity was his super power. In that way I am definitely my father’s daughter. The craziest thing to me (and this became more and more striking each year as he got sicker and I became more aware) is that he was creating so much despite being in so much pain.

My dad was also the kind of person who could talk to anyone. He could befriend anyone and he would be kind to everyone. I don’t know if you have experienced being in pain or feeling really ill. I’m sure you have at some point in your life. Now imagine feeling that way every day and knowing that it isn’t going to let up- it’s likely going to get worse. Imagine how easy it would be to be irritable, cranky, mean, short, even cruel to people. He wasn’t. He was always kind to people. People he didn’t know who he’d probably never see again. He was just so sweet. Why? He certainly didn’t have to be. And how did he have the capacity? I wish I had been able to see into my future and know that I would end up being chronically ill too. That I would have to navigate a life knowing I will probably have these symptoms forever. I’d love to be able to ask him how he dealt with the enormous burden of it all. How the physical and emotional toll of it didn’t ruin him- how instead at times he would excel in spite of it.

I know I will never get those answers directly from him but I feel like I have that conversation with him every day. Every moment there is a struggle to perform a task. Any time I lose motivation to be productive. Anytime I snap at my husband because I just don’t have the bandwidth to deal with the pain. Any time I get another diagnosis or a new symptom creeps up. Every day there I deal with some kind of struggle and every time I think of my dad. And I know, at least a partial, answer to my question. He dealt with it all be creating. It gave him purpose. It distracted him from the pain. It gave his live variety and novelty. It gave him a space to be in control of something, it was an outlet. At the end of the day he was an artist. He would have had to create regardless but I’m so happy he had such a powerful outlet at the ready. I am grateful for my art for the same reasons.

So where did I get my resilience from? Maybe a little DNA but undeniably from example. Every once in a while I have to consciously choose to be positive but for the most part I don’t know any other way to exist. It’s ingrained in me. My dad gave me such a wonderful gift at such a young age, such amazing tools! Although, I recognized how awesome he was in the moment, I couldn’t fully appreciate it until now.

I would be remiss if I did not mention my mom and my nana. I could have easily have written about either one of them. They are two strong woman who have shown an abundance of resilience in their own right and definitely shaped who I am today in so many ways. Because of them I am able to reflect on my childhood and honestly say that my first response is- it was wonderful! I’m immensely grateful that the relentless heaviness of life’s curve balls did not dominate. It easily could have but the positive beat out the negative and I know that it is because of the environment that was lovingly built for me. A little nature and a whole lot of nurture. How could I have such an incredible examples and then chose to do anything but create, be kind, and excel in spite of it all. Now I get to pass this gift on to my kids.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I wear a lot of artistic hats. First and foremost I consider myself a musician. I’m a classically trained mezzo-soprano, I own a private voice studio, I’ve been a stage director, and most of my work has been in the opera and music education world. This past year I had planned on performing almost exclusively. I worked very hard to get polished and ready for audition season but had to cancel my auditions because my autoimmune disease started to directly affect my voice and consequently I was unable to sing at the level required for the companies I had applied to.

When it became clear that I wasn’t going to be able to sing much this year I immediately started planning positive creative outlets. In the fall of last year I bought my first camera and taught myself photography. Three months later I was hired to be a personal photographer for the Grammy’s and decided to start a business!

Simultaneously, I created The Chronicled Voice. We are an advocacy group for singers with chronic illness. We aim to cultivate awareness to create change. This started out as a blog and social media community but quickly grew into something bigger. In six short months The Chronicled voice has collaborated with multiple organizations around the world, appeared on podcasts, been published several times, featured in a documentary, contributed to dissertation and pedagogical texts, and was recently offered a book deal. I’m pleased to announce that we just became a non-profit organization so expect to see some big change happening in the future!

I am thrilled to share with you my biggest project yet: My Black Swan Songs. I am currently in collaboration with four composers and a librettist to create a new 15 piece work of music for voice and piano. This music will center around hard hitting themes from my life and shine a light on issues that are often considered too taboo to discuss. My hope is this music and its text will resonate with its audience and that other singers will be inspired to perform it as well.
My Black Swan Songs will be premiered in 2025.

To finish off the year I am greatly looking forward to collaborating with Double A Triple U later this year in NYC for an art exhibition and fundraising event to raise awareness for autoimmune disease. I will be wearing many of my hats as my photography, music, and writing will be featured along with the work of other artists with chronic illness. Be on the look out for this amazing event in December!

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Emotional intelligence is a huge one. My mom is a physiologist (and also just a good mom) so I grew up with a very safe space to learn about and express my emotions. I am annoyingly in tune with them and have gotten very good at labeling, predicting, and navigating them. I’m still working on trying not to control them so much but rather taking a more mindful approach. Maybe in my 40s I’ll figure that part out but I can’t imagine going through all of what I’ve been through and not having this skill. Invaluable- thanks, mom!

Trust yourself and know your voice (pun intended) is worthy of being heard. This is very important in the opera industry for multiple reasons but obviously applies to every one. It is imperative that we all give ourselves permission to trust that what we experience in our lives is a. true and valid and b. deserves to be heard. We are all human so it is very likely that your story, whatever it is, will impact someone else. It’s one of the most empowering things you can do.

Take joy in the little things. I love novelty and I love to find it in the little ways because I can do it anywhere and at anytime. If I’m anxious or stressed I will almost instantly feel better if I refocus on discovering something new. It can be as simple as looking out the window and noticing a plant you’ve never seen before. Feeling the texture of something near you. Going to a new restaurant. Smiling at a stranger. It may not make you feel 100% better but believe me those little things add up.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

Right now I am in a very scary and frustrating position that I have never been in before. About two months ago my ENT discovered the cause of the vocal issues that started creeping up last year. My autoimmune disease has caused my left vocal fold to stop vibrating normally and it has developed rheumatological nodules on it. Last month I had surgery to try and fix or reduce these symptoms. During surgery my doctor discovered a varicose vein in my right fold and was able to remove it but unfortunately the procedure did not fix the main issues.

We are now in the process of trying to figure out if we need a repeat surgery or if I need to start taking medication to treat the autoimmune disease (this medicine will, of course, cause other side effects). The problem is we aren’t totally sure which autoimmune disease is causing this problem. If you are unfamiliar with the process of diagnosing autoimmune disease it is a lengthy one. I am scheduled to cover (opera equivalent of an understudy) a large role in October so I’m anxiously but patiently waiting to see if my body will be ready by then. Luckily the company knows of my situation and offered me the role with the understanding that I may not be able to sing it. In the meantime I am doing as much vocal rehab as I can and eagerly waiting for the green light to sing again.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://mollynoorimezzo.com
• Instagram: mollynoorimezzo
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@mollynoorimezzo
• Other: Additional sites/accounts:
  @thechronicledvoice
  @mollynooriphotography

  mollynooriphotography.com

Image Credits

Matthew Holler
Anastasia Sistevaris