Meet Naomi Allen

 

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Naomi Allen a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Naomi , thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.

I believe that I am constantly working to overcome imposter syndrome. Being from a small and predominantly white city and attending a predominantly white institution for four years, it is so easy to shrink and hide yourself despite how much you naturally stand out. In fact, in certain black households you are taught to be “seen and not heard.” I am sure you know about the infamous prepping that a black mom does with her child before walking into a store—“don’t touch nothing, don’t look at nothing, don’t ask for nothing, don’t even breathe when we get up in here”— really does apply to the way so many black people exist in the world. We feel as if we have to apologize for our mere existence, constantly walking on egg shells so we don’t offend anybody behind our blackness or so we don’t attract the attention of the police and that kind of fear has been engrained in us since slavery.

When I think of confidence and boldness, I think of when I was a child. I didn’t care about my appearance or if I was well liked. I was just me and I went through life as me without apologizing or shrinking to make others comfortable. That kind of freedom is what was stolen from me in college and I really struggled with advocating for myself during that time. In many ways, I lost myself. I saw a lot of dark and bizarre things and experienced so much trauma that I completely shut down and I don’t think we talk about how much trauma changes your brain chemistry. I am 26 now and have been trying to get back to that part of me. I often think about if the child in me would be proud of me and while I can say she would be stoked with everything that I have accomplished up to now, I think she would be disappointed to know how much I’ve people pleased and how unsure of myself I have become. I am a work in progress who is far from perfect and while I have not fully conquered imposter syndrome, I am making strides to overcome daily. Here are a few tips that I have learned so far:

1. I am young and I have accepted that I have no idea what I am doing so there is no “right” or “wrong” way of learning.
2. Mistakes will happen and I embrace them. It is how you learn!
3. Healing is NOT linear. There is no “right way to grieve” and there is no time limit or expiration. You are human and emotions are vital so give yourself grace and allow yourself to FEEL.
4. A support system is necessary but so is how you interact with yourself. Do not speak or think negatively of yourself because there is power in the tongue! Encourage yourself, love yourself, become your biggest cheerleader because you deserve it!
5. Listen to your instinct and trust yourself.
6. Instead of focusing on your “failures,” celebrate your successes and then praise yourself for them. Sometimes we forget how much we have accomplished because of how hard we work without a break but reminding yourself gives you a reason to “savor the success” and relish in the moment. It is a big deal and so are you.
7. Rest. Rest when needed, sleep when needed, pause when needed. You can always return to your tasks after the fact but sleep is important for your body to heal and taking breaks can help reduce stress and clear your head. Learn to slow down!

If I can leave you with anything else, it would be Matthew 18: 1-3 because we should all strive to be like the younger versions of ourselves. Specifically, the compassion we have for each other and ourselves, the way we never let any one be excluded, the confidence, the sass, the humor, the spontaneity, the adventurous spirit, the risk taking, the trust and belief in ourselves and others, the hope, the peace, the love, and most importantly, the joy for life.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I am a performing, teaching, visual artist, and entrepreneur. My stage name is Nairobi however most people know me as Queen of Nairobi. My brand is focused on individuality, divinity, and purpose and I write original music that is clean, relevant, and timeless. I am a fusion styled artist who blends elements of R&B, soul, jazz, gospel, rap, hip hop and makes thought provoking music that takes about things that I have personally experienced. I am currently working on an album which I hope to release in the fall of 2024 but it has been very difficult as I am completely independent and do not have a manager. The album is called Mood Ring and I have been working on this project since I was 17/18 years old. That is honestly a huge reason why I haven’t released it yet because I am afraid of the response it will get or the lack thereof. This album has grown with me, matured with me, and while I have entered a new stage musically, it still represents the woman I am in so many ways and I really want it to be received well and understood. I have two singles out which are available on all streaming platforms, “Blue” which features J the Anomaly and “Bottled Emotions.” For more information regarding my music, you can go to www.wqueenofnairobi.net

I am also the owner of an artist business, Naomi Nuked That which I started after being laid off my job due to Covid however, I have always been artistically gifted. My slogan is “cause if Naomi did it, you know it’s the bomb!” I like to make art work with an element of 3D and mainly focus on key chains, paintings, and coasters but I do so much more and there’s so many more mediums of art that I wish to get into but unfortunately with a full time job, it’s very difficult to balance my time for my passions. I am hoping to find the time to be creative and paint because it is truly my outlet. You can follow my Instagram @naominukedthat for more information.

During the week, I work at a non profit organization as an art administrator. I am the Assistant Coordinator and Vocal Coach to an after school program that serves students grades 8 through 12 and focuses on those from underprivileged backgrounds. Working there is a huge sacrifice as an artist because I am usually too tired to make music or paint but I honestly don’t regret it because I love my students and want nothing but the best for them. I don’t know if I’m the big sis, the nagging mom, rich auntie, or the cool cousin but with kids, I feel like you have to be versatile so it’s really about knowing which role to play when.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

My most impactful skills would be how analytical I am. I mean, I can problem solve anything and I think quickly under pressure. I would also say my compassion, active listening skills, and attention to detail. My advice would be to find what you’re good at and to nurture it but also discover the areas you lack and figure how you can improve! Start journaling your steps and goals. It really works.

To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?

The most impactful thing my parents did for me was let me decide my own career path and I’m not saying they didn’t have suggestions because they most certainly did but I’m grateful that they let me find my own way. I am also thankful that my mom kept me busy and cultured because I feel like I can connect with people from any background and be in any setting without feeling like I don’t fit in or I don’t know how to behave. Those after school and summer programs also gave me the opportunity to hone my skills and develop new ones and it’s a huge part of why I am multi faceted in my dreams and talents. They just let me do my own thing and I’m sure it was probably scary because being an artist is anything but practical but it’s come with subtle reminders every now and then that has proven it was the right choice. At the end of the day, God is sovereign and he’ll have his way if you allow him to orchestrate!

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Nairobi pictured with Dr. Cornel West after singing for his presidential campaign

Nairobi pictured with Rapsody after opening for her at the Hooks & Phonics Festival

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