We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Natalie Burnett a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Natalie, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
Saying “NO” and letting go of people that try to hold you back. regardless of the history I have with them. as well as remembering., where I came from is another one as well as the ambition to do better not just for myself but for the sets of eyes looking up at me.
I’ve let go of a lot of people that really matter to me as heartbreaking that was it never was a hard choice to choose between good friends and myself and my children.
Resilience is things and people that matter to you that are worth something for you to live for even now in these times we all need to some resilience.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
Well, I am a Comedian. but as in past Interviews I’ve told my past. and if anyone i crossed paths with and want to know my past story I’m happy to share
But moving forward I’m putting my stand-up on the back burner. and starting to do things. that I want to put in the face of people I want them to notice that this system that children are in and what families go through
I believe that the foster care system. and the people that work and the families that get tied up in this system get placed aside. cause no one wants to deal with it and that it is quite possible that it is a “Cash Cow” business.
The children that are lost in this system. They matter regardless of age and race or whatever it may be that type of pain doesn’t stop when you “age out”. or even fall through the cracks of the system. Every single one of these kids deserves a home and of people that love them. None of the children that are in this system. should not suffer from the mistakes of adults.
The families that must go through this and are falsely accused., that someone said something whatever happen to get them tied up with this system even the families that have won their children back. And that pain I wouldn’t want anyone to have none of it I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to have.
I feel so strongly about this because. I’ve been through it; my children have been through it. I’m not speaking on this coming from the outside looking in. I am far from privileged.
Personally, I feel That society. has for so long for everyone to think that if you are of certain wealth that you can’t be hurt. but now as things are from media you can now see regardless of what financial status you are you can still be hurt.
but I still see and dealt with people who think that could never be them because they live this privilege life although. they could not understand, and they do feel bad about hurtful situations. they still have the mindset. Of looking down on people who have been in situations that have never happened before to them or their town.
Instead of celebrating the victories of a parent that has won their children back from the system that is so-called to be safe for children. These people are looking down on these families and single parents. The audacity, the double standard. Of with that I must deal with the system but as well as race. As much as you can tell, people who have not been in your situation. Your hard work, your dedication, everything that you sacrifice. Those very same people will still look at you and still judge you on the fact that your children were in the system and that you had to deal with the system. There’s no celebration of the victory that you had fought and won and that is very rare and very few parents could ever do.
And it becomes harder when you are a minority.
And I know people, not just in my community, will shake their heads and say that’s not true but the actions that had been taken show that race does play a factor.
I am constantly not only as a minority but as a single parent that has been through the system not only as myself but as a mother that had us children in the system. That I’m constantly having to prove to everyone. Because everyone is trying to make me believe that “I’m not a good parent because I went through the system”. I recently been through this. They can sit there and tell you straight to your face and say “You are a good parent. ” but their actions show their real view of you.
It is hard being a parent and it is even harder to be a parent that has been entangled with the system. As well as a minority.
I have dealt with it first-hand if your child gets a scratch. If your child says something of a misunderstanding and school calls not you but CPS you straight get reported, and this is where race comes into play the neighbor who is Caucasian, and it is shown and known throughout. They have dysfunctional parenting, an abusive parenting way. They don’t get a call; it’s overlooked as though they are “trying” but me as a minority as a parent that has overcome so many obstacles. Making sure my children are safe and growing in an environment will help them prosper and grow in life. And CPS is knocking at my door. But the neighbors who are obviously and it is known and seen that are abusive. That don’t care about their children. And it’s plain to see because they are not a minority CPS is not knocking at their door. It’s unfortunate but I want People to see. To learn I want those Parents especially minority parents. That you have an advantage, and your advantage is that you can see right through these people and see their motives and see because of their actions. You’re not crazy. You’re not hostile, you’re not aggressive.
But You are not only protecting your children. You are protecting yourself. That you deserve to be treated as though. Your kids have never been in the system. The privilege does not matter, race does not matter.
And that you are a good parent that you were willing and are. willing to sacrifice everything at any cost for your children.
I want everyone to read this and look back and move forward and look as it as though instead of reading the back of the book read the whole book instead. And see the outcome. And see which book. Has a bad ending. And those are the type of people that everyone should be aware of. Because they’re not parents. I believe that we have a system that is based on. Solely, just currency and not the safety of children. I also believe that as a community doesn’t do enough for the abuse of children of the lost children the children that are already in foster, care, as well as not being aware of the parents that are actually truly fighting and as well. As the parents that have fought and won. Don’t lump those parents with people that continue to abuse their children. Because they think they have a right to do so because time and time again they are supported by a community that only sees the outside especially schools, especially teachers. When they hear classmates, talk about another classmate Especially when their peers are talking about, the child that is in an abusive household they need to take it more seriously.
There needs to be steps in place for things like this and if they are very few are using those steps.
Now my Situation is different, but not too different. I am constantly having to prove myself. And with the comparison of the neighbors that I have, I see it. I see the schools and the teachers Put me in a category as my neighbors and their people who use their children for their vices and as many times I can shout and show that I am the exact opposite. I have that cloud, that dark cloud. Lingering over me and I’m tired of having that dark cloud linger over me. I’ve owned up to my mistakes and I fixed them. I won and I am moving on.
I believe that we can change the system for these children, because they are our future.
And that people can just not. View the parents that have fought, the parents that are fighting, the parents have won, and the parents that have lost and they fought so hard and still lost to the system. I believe that the community needs to not have these dark clouds and lump them in the category of the people that don’t care about their kids
The system doesn’t look hard and investigate hard enough on those people who have an addiction problem. Or people that have anger issues and are abusive to their children. They don’t look hard enough in those. They give them 30 days to 90 days and if they’re good, then they’re set free, and they continue with the crimes. But the system would rather look hard into the families that are fighting hard for their children. That are willing to do whatever for their children. They don’t get a 30 day or a 90-day program to go to and then they get their kids back. These families, these single parents., these parents all must fight so hard. Must change the whole lives. Around because of the circumstances these mistakes that they made and they’re trying so hard, but the system doesn’t investigate how hard it is to be a single parent. They don’t investigate how hard it is. To be. A partner who has a partner that is abusive and they’re trying to take steps to get out safely for their children they don’t take all those and much more into considerations.
This system for children needs to change. It needs to change to better the lives of children that are going to go back to their parents. To change for the lost children that fell through the cracks of the system, it needs to change for the children that have “aged out” of the system that are just thrown into society. The after care for not just the kids but for the families that must go through this abusive system. Because it is let’s just face it. It isn’t an abusive system that will take advantage of good parents.
I can go on and on about this, but I think that pretty much sums it up.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Show up, Speak up. And never give up.
Show up, show up as in being present not just in the lives of your children but also as well in the lives of people that are important to you. Even your project that you are dedicated to be there.
Speak up, speak up as much as possible at every opportunity. Don’t let anyone try to persuade you of not speaking out for what you feel is right regardless of if it hurts their feelings because you have a right to your opinion, just as they are and regardless, if they don’t see eye to eye at least you know and everyone knows that you spoke up, for yourself and for the people that matter most to you.
And never give up, never give up on something that you are dedicated to and that you are passionate about. Never give up on what matters to you most. Don’t fray, don’t let anyone make you give up. Giving up is never an option.
If you knew you only had a decade of life left, how would you spend that decade?
(Laughs) Making sure that the system changes for children and families and as well the community changes their point of view.
The system as well as the community wherever I go.
It’s hard it really it causes your faced with the reality that in some communities they don’t like to change they like being in their bubble where they think they are safe and if they have been outside their bubble they go back and pretend that its nothing.
and that people that do want to change its hard for them to speak up.
The system it’s a beast, it’s a controlling system, it’s a money system, its everything but what it’s supposed to be.
and that’s a hard challenge.
But it is a challenge I am willing to take and happy to take on
Contact Info:
- Instagram: nattyisthebest
- Facebook: Natalie Ellison
- Twitter: @nattisthebest
- Other: email me at urlocaldirtbagcomedian@
gmail.com
Image Credits
you can get my hoodie. at getsuga.com just say Nattyisthebest sent ya !
