Meet Natalie Tincher

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Natalie Tincher. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Natalie below.

Natalie, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I was lucky to have parents that emboldened and empowered me from a young age by both example and encouragement. My mom celebrated and reiterated how wonderful it was to be unique, even when I looked or acted different than most of the kids in my small Indiana town. Of course, as a teenager, I didn’t believe her at the time, but her words stuck with me into adulthood. I had a dad who lived proudly in his authenticity and wasn’t afraid to go against the grain. A catch phrase of his was, “If they don’t like it, fooey on them.” I observed that this was usually expressed in relation to breaking the “rules” or being contrarian in order to uplift or care for others.

As I started to explore what it looked like to live in my own truth and authenticity, I had their encouragement and examples to live by. This even meant making some choices (like leaving the strict religion I grew up in) that weren’t exactly in line with their wishes for me. With each decision I made to break from the expectations and norms I grew up with, I felt empowered and excited to be living in my own authenticity and path. I slowly gained more confident in myself, who I am and my life’s purpose.

Another huge contributor to developing my confidence and self-esteem was moving to New York City in my 20s. This is for many reasons. New York is such a beautifully diverse city. I could look around and see that beauty, intellect, charisma and more come in all personalities, backgrounds, skillsets, shapes, sizes, races, etc. Instead of letting comparison be a thief of joy; I used the power of positive comparison to build my own self-confidence.

As I started my personal styling business, I realized that I truly saw every single client as beautiful, special, smart, unique . . . all the wonderful things! It hurt my heart to see them doubt themselves. This caused a big shift in the way I spoke to myself. It made me think again to my mom’s sentiments to awkward teenage me when she said, “If you could see yourself how I see you, you would know how special you are.” I remember the first time thinking those works in relation to my dear clients and friends, and I realized I needed to work on that practice with myself.

Another confidence-building shift New York gave me is in that fact that it’s a big and sometimes tough city, especially for a small town girl. In order to thrive, you have to discover who you are, embrace it, and live it. New York wants that from you. I call it a big “island of misfits.” In it, you find your community by being true to yourself. The more I proudly showed up as the most unabashedly authentic version of me, the more I attracted and was attracted to “my people” who celebrated each other holistically.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I moved to New York in 2009 with the goal of working in fashion, likely using my editorial experience to land a job at a magazine. Once I was actually living in New York, I felt regularly intimidated. Everyone around me seemed more sophisticated about work, socializing, and clothes. For instance, I nearly had a meltdown when a friend invited me to my first happy hour at a fancy rooftop bar. What do you wear to that? Even though I was very social by nature, I started to make excuses to not go out, because finding something to wear was overwhelming.

Many of my new peers dressed in all black every day, but that didn’t fit my cheerful midwestern disposition. I loved bright colors and pastels. I didn’t want to merely copy everyone else; I wanted to project my authentic identity with confidence, while still looking good and feeling like I belong in my new NYC home. But I had no idea how to do that. Despite my inherent kindness, I can also be tough and stubborn in overcoming obstacles. (My therapist calls me a “sweet rebel.”) I became obsessive about finding ways to dress both authentically and appropriately for an ambitious New York woman. After lots of trial and error, I started to feel better about my outfits. I found the sweet spot between fitting in and standing out, with a personal style that communicated my midwestern cheer and big city confidence.

As I was figuring this stuff out for myself, I wondered if I could also help others who felt overwhelmed by fashion choices. I started helping friends shop as a hobby, with great results. When I Googled for info about a career as a personal stylist, I was happy to see it was a career option and that, at the time, there were only a few people doing it. And those people were mostly helping the very wealthy, which wasn’t me at all. But maybe, I thought, there might be a way to be a style consultant for middle class folks rather than the one percent. Maybe that was an unfilled niche I could occupy that would merge my love for humans with my interest in the fashion. I could be a safe landing place for people to explore how to create an authentic style.

I learned I could take classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology to learn the technical aspects of fashion and style, from colors and fabrics to silhouettes and accessories. So I got certified in what FIT calls “image consulting.” I started my business, BU Style (short for “Be You Style”) in 2010. Early clients spread the word to their friends, and before long my calendar was full. I left my editorial job and went full time with the business as soon as it was financially viable.

Now, as I celebrate 14 years in business, I have expanded BU Style to a team of 6, including 3 stylists, 1 makeup artist, and communications and marketing support. I have created a proprietary methodology and assessment, the BU Style Six™, which identifies an individual’s unique spread of the six style personalities as well as their goal style personality. This methodology helps create a common language around style and a way to cut through today’s constant consumeristic “noise” to make style choices based on their own unique preferences and personalities. My company also offer virtual and in-person 1:1 services that include closet sorts, strategic shopping, outfit styling and more. In addition, we are launching a 3-month virtual intensive “Style from the Inside Out” this fall 2024. Furthermore, in order to support more people and give them a non-judgmental seat at the the style discovery table, I launched my Podcast, Wear Who You Are, in March of 2023.

Entrepreneurship has been a fun and challenging journey. The community we serve fuels me to keep going, and I am constantly on a quest to build a business and brand that takes the fear out of fashion and empowers others to discover, own, and thoughtfully evolve their personal style with each life phase. I truly believe personal style starts from the inside, and my company’s job is to just help our clients and community find it.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Resilience: there was a year I was newly single and barely earned enough money to cover my basic needs, but I was committed to my purpose and determined to keep trying. Progress isn’t linear, and knowing that challenges will come and having a resolve to get through them with love for yourself along the way is critical. My best and biggest personal and professional growth always comes from persevering through the “failures” or setbacks.

2. Flexibility: when we are set on making something happen in the way we first envision, no matter what, we lose the opportunity for creative collaboration and grace to learn and adjust each step of the way. I used to be so set in making something happen a certain way. Once I became more open to mindfulness in each step of creating, I came up with fewer roadblocks and ended with even better outcomes than I imagined in the beginning.

3. Kind Communication: I used to shy away from “hard” conversations, but I have learned that not being afraid to be transparent and encourage the same from clients, team members, etc, is critical. Being “kindly confrontational “is a practice I continue to work on. I never want anyone to live in fear of expressing themselves and their needs or ideas to me, so I need to be a good communicator to encourage others to do the same. When we are communicating openly about what’s working for us, what’s keeping us up at night, what’s lighting us up, what’s giving some scaries—we give a channel to feel seen and heard which makes us collectively strong and encourages us go farther together. Passive-aggressive communication is never the best way.

How would you describe your ideal client?

My ideal client is someone who is open, willing to try new things, and intentional in our work together. My clients and I are partners and collaborators, and the results are always 10x better when we commit together to an ongoing journey of style discovery. Their feedback and self-awareness are critical in helping me use my expertise to guide them in thoughtful evolution. An ideal client knows we aren’t going to solve all of their concerns overnight and that the best way to build is to trust the process and each other. I have clients I have worked with for 13+ years. We have grown together through new babies, career changes, body changes, and more. Now, many of my clients are inspiring female founders, executives, and entrepreneurs. It’s a beautiful thing to support them holistically through each life chapter.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.bu.style
• Instagram: @BUstyle or @natalie_tincher
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-tincher-61394310/
• Yelp: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-tincher-61394310/

Image Credits

Ambe J. Photography for headshots
Mackenzie Wheatley for process shots