Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Natalie Villeneuve. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Natalie, so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?
I’ve always believed in the innate goodness of people and have felt deep empathy for those who have suffered and for those who cause pain to others. I became curious about what causes people to make bad or hurtful choices, which led me to my career as a social worker and trauma-focused therapist. As I learned more about the impact of trauma, I have come to understand that we are all impacted in one way or another by trauma on a deep, cellular, and subconscious level. This trauma imprint might come from our present life, or it can be tied to our ancestors through intergenerational trauma.
Regardless of the cause, we carry this imprint like a negative energy deep in our bodies, and it attempts to express itself in a multitude of ways until we learn to listen. This can come out through the way we speak, feel, think, and act; in how we treat others, in the choices we make or don’t make, in the way we parent our kids, and so much more.
As a result, I learned to see every human through a compassionate lens, where I ask “What happened to you?” instead of “What is wrong with you?”. No matter the choices someone is making, I can empathize with them by seeing undesirable behaviour as a soul wound that needs to be healed. When people are truly seen in this way, when they FEEL your empathy and compassion towards them, it allows them to soften and feel that for themselves and others. I have learned that empathy is contagious, and I hope to continue to spread it!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My goal is to help people to heal and to live a good life, so I am developing a wholistic psychotherapy practice that focuses on improving our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. I am primarily informed by Indigenous knowledge, which teaches us how to live a good life (Mino-Bimaadiziwin in Anishinaabemowin) by finding balance in all parts of ourselves and within the universe around us. I offer trauma-focused therapy; group therapy, workshops, and staff training; personal training and Muay Thai coaching; and candle making. While diverse, all of these offerings have a connection to each other and help me to live in balance.
I was raised and educated in a very Western system and grew up without any ties to Indigenous ways, but my personal and professional paths both led me to the Indigenous knowledge that shapes so much of my being today. I was interested in learning more about Indigenous teachings when I was told that I may have Métis ancestry. While I still haven’t been able to confirm my ancestry, I found a connection in Indigenous knowledge that has changed my belief system and the way I practice social work today.
As a social worker, I have always questioned the systems that don’t seem to support us. I have challenged the approaches around me and sought to change the way we do things in the interest of better serving humanity. In this journey, I learned about the deep-seated impact of trauma, and how many of our problems individually and in society can be linked back to intergenerational trauma. Through Indigenous teachings, I have come to understand the cycle of all things, and how we cannot heal without addressing every part of ourselves. This comes from Medicine Wheel Teachings, which helps us to find balance and alignment in our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual selves.
An important part of how I integrate all parts of ourselves into healing is by bringing martial arts, another passion of mine, into my work. I am an amateur competitive Muay Thai fighter, which has made me stronger, braver, more confident and resilient than ever, and now I want to help others to also harness their inner warrior too. I offer services to teenagers and adults to help them explore themselves in a way that is interesting to them through therapy or coaching. Someone’s goals may be to improve their fitness, build a better diet, build self-esteem, learn self-defence, deepen emotional connection, manage anxiety, heal trauma, find spiritual connection… Wherever someone is at, I am here to help them find the best pathway forward to becoming a better version of themselves.
I am always seeking to “decolonize” social work, which recognizes the limitations of Western therapy and invites us to tap into our somatic experience, because our emotional and spiritual selves are completely tied to our physical self, and all of this informs our mental health. Western psychiatry is finally catching up to this knowledge, but often failing to give it credit where it’s due by acknowledging that this science is founded in longstanding Indigenous wisdom. I have to credit some of my own teachers here and acknowledge my relationship with Grandmothers Voice, an Indigenous non-profit who I’ve been collaborating with over the last couple of years to promote our shared vision of returning to healing through Indigenous knowledge. The many teachers from Grandmothers Voice have guided me on my path to using Indigenous knowledge to help better us all, and you can join on this journey yourself through their website at www.grandmothersvoice.com.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The three qualities that I promote the most are openness, curiosity, and humility.
Openness is about being open to any possibility or any pathway, because if we stay too stuck in any way of thinking, we will close ourselves off to so many opportunities. There are so many mysteries to the universe, and if I pretend I have all the answers, I am remaining ignorant to so many beautiful truths that are waiting to be discovered. So I embark on every journey with an open heart, which allows me to receive wisdom and opportunities that continue to grow and guide me.
Curiosity is what allows me to stay trekking forward through the greatest of challenges. When I ask myself, “What is this teaching me?” whenever I am faced with a challenge, I invite an opportunity for growth. I have learned that suffering is a choice, and that while pain is inevitable in life, how long we suffer through it is up to us. If I feel the pain of my emotions as they come, but then ask myself what I can learn from this experience, I will always find an opportunity for growth, and I encourage others to do the same.
You cannot be open or curious without being humble, because humility teaches us that what we believe we know can change at any moment, so we must be flexible in our thinking if we want to grow. I like to use the phrase “we are everything and we are nothing” when I think about humility, because every human has so much place and importance in this world, but at the same time the forces of nature and of the universe are so much greater than us. By knowing our place in the world, we can better understand our duty to protect and nurture ourselves, those around us, and Mother Earth.
I believe that our purpose in life is to constantly grow, and that our individual growth contributes to the overall growth of the planet. When I embrace these qualities and can teach others to live by them as well, I am creating a ripple effect of change that I hope will carry forward for a long time.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
YES! I am constantly networking with others because I know that we can build a stronger system together. Right now, I am trying to run therapeutic martial arts groups, where I teach youth the skills they need to overcome difficult feelings, to strengthen their mental health, and to find empowerment through moving their bodies. I would like to impact as many youth as possible, and so ideally I would love to infiltrate the education system. I would love to offer a regular support system for youth, whether this is integrated as part of their school day, or as an after school program, so that youth have an outlet to deal with whatever challenges they are facing in life.
I also would love to be able to offer all of my services for free, but unfortunately I need to sustain myself as well, which makes it hard to offer great services when those who need it most are those who can’t afford them. So I’m always looking for funding and grants that will support my programs! I know that there is tons of money out there to support youth’s positive development, and I have so many different types of programs and workshops to offer. If you have funding or access to a group of interested youth, I would love to hear from you!
I am always open to collaborating with anyone who has a shared vision of making the world a better place. If anything I have said has resonated with you and you want to share your own ideas, I would love to connect.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.inspiring-change.ca
- Other: https://www.grandmothersvoice.com
Image Credits
Natalie Villeneuve
Melissa Marchand
Canadian Muay Thai League
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