Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Natecia Daniel Executive Assistant | Creative Enthusiast. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Natecia Daniel, appreciate you sitting with us today. Maybe we can start with a topic that we care deeply about because it’s something we’ve found really sets folks apart and can make all the difference in whether someone reaches their goals. Self discipline seems to have an outsized impact on how someone’s life plays out and so we’d love to hear about how you developed yours?
I believe that my self-discipline was absorbed in a passive way; watching my parents, primarily my mother. We are an immigrant family from Port-of-Spain, Trinidad & Tobago. I believe that self-discipline is intrinsic in immigrants. There is nothing else to do but drive on despite anything else. I don’t remember growing up in a household where there was affection, but, there was routine. Our house ran like clockwork on a schedule that was rarely deviated from. As a child, you don’t think about the idiosyncrasies of your house. Your home is your own private island and you adapt to that island. As I said in the beginning, I primarily watched my mother. She was my world; I was her shadow.
She stayed at home until my eldest brother was in high-school, I in middle school, and the youngest in pre-K. I had always assisted with the household duties but, when my mother entered into the work-place, I was now enlisted in care of my younger brother. Thinking back, he was always in my care as I am 10 years older than he is. I didn’t mind it; I was happy to help. As the only daughter, I believe that I was raised to be useful; to be productive. And I was. I learned how to help in the kitchen, washing baby bottles and cloth diapers, with laundry, cleaning, and yardwork. I was even, at the age of 11, a tutor to our neighbors son! In exchange for tutoring, his mother taught me how to crochet; a skill that I still use to this day!
Watching my mother morph from housewife to worker didn’t mean much to me as a child. I was simply excited that this now meant more opportunities for me to have an ally in purchasing the things that I liked clothes-wise. My dad was practical when it came to clothes: nothing more than the basics. My mother on the other hand, enjoyed clothes!
Mom kept her usual routine even while working! She was up in the early morning alongside my father, he was in the Army, and continued to do as she had always done: get breakfast ready, make sure we were dressed and had everything we needed for school. She then worked a full day only to return home to cook dinner and get us all settled in for the evening. It didn’t register to me, until I was much older, that a working woman equaled “Freedom” and “Independence.” My mother was also the Queen of Side-Hustles. She did everything from babysitting, to baking cakes, to hosting shop-at-home parties in our house! Anything to bring in extra income. I was always watching her, taking it all in.
I became a single mother of twins before just before my 19th birthday and, I joined the Army at the age of 23. Those two events further cemented my discipline. Becoming a parent forces you to lock everything down. While it wasn’t easy, it was easier as I was used to routine. Once I got the babies on a schedule, we stayed on that schedule until they outgrew it and then it was on to the next schedule. Joining the Army didn’t phase me; I, again, was used to routine and being disciplined.
My story is long, I have worn many hats and had many careers. I’m almost 53yrs old. My self-discipline has been both a blessing and a curse, but, it has gotten me through a great deal of pain. My favorite thing to say in response to change is simply “onward”.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
No matter what my job/career choice, I a consider myself both a “fixer” and a “seer”. I’ve done it all: waitress, bartender, retail management, soldier, laboratory technician, autopsy assistant, practice management, business owner, and executive assistant. No matter the position, I have always had the ability to streamline any process to make it make sense for all involved. I love process improvement; observing a thing then fixing a thing.
What’s most important to me, however, is that people feel understood, seen, and heard. I don’t think that the current work culture has room for any of those qualities and it truly is a shame. Work/business now is all about the grind and the hustle, not about caring for those who are doing the work for you and we fall for it! We wear this “hustle and grind” work ethic as a ridiculous badge of honor but, the grind and the hustle is literally killing us. We were not meant to live like this and, I feel, it’s almost my duty to slow things down no matter where I am working. Let’s be productive but let us also recognize that the work will always be there.
This brings me to my focus, in this chapter of my life which I like to call “Gentle Living”. Allowing people to allow themselves the Grace to relax. To enjoy what they enjoy without feeling discomfort. To embrace the joy in living not just to work, but for yourself.
I have always expressed myself with both with my attire and my home décor. They tell a story of who I am and what you can expect from me. I’m currently trying to get back to myself and my self-expression, which took a dive during COVID. I’ve currently launched a design/styling business: N. Daniel Designs (I’ve just gone “live” on Instagram today!!) which directly ties into the boutique I used to own. My boutique allowed me to express myself in ways that I never had before. From window displays, to styling and staging the shop, I enjoyed every single minute of it. I would change up the look of the store every quarter. It kept my creativity flowing; clients couldn’t wait to see how the store would look. I would also like to revive a women’s business group that I formed, and bring it to life in Tucson (I’ve just moved here). It was called P.O.W.: Power of Women. We were a group of female business owners who networked and collaborated with each other to navigate business ownership. And, we got shit done!! We would do what needed to be done and ask for forgiveness, if it was needed, later.
All of this to say that my focus is, and has always been People & Community!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. Know who you are.
2. Listen & Observe
3. Don’t speak just for the sake of speaking
I have always known who I am; the person you see as my everyday self is the same person you see at work. In my opinion, being genuine is the only way to be. People will not trust you long if they can sense that, at your core, you are not a genuine person.
I am also a great listener and watcher. I enjoy watching people while l listen to them speak. I like to fade into the background or, be present yet absent at the same time. You can learn a lot by listening and watching. People will (subconsciously) tell you everything about themselves.
Lastly, you must to become comfortable silence; of not speaking to fill in a void. A few years ago, I forced myself to institute a 24-hour rule if I was upset by something said or done to me. It consists of waiting 24-hours to respond. It allows me to gather myself before I speak and it has saved me from a great deal of regret by simply waiting. If, after the 24hrs, I’m still bothered, I have had the time to formulate a rational response. Typically though, I find that after I’ve had time to process my thoughts, no response is needed.
All of these life skills have helped me become a better person which then bleeds over to my professional self.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
Currently, my number one obstacle is myself coupled with self-doubt.
I’ve just moved to a new city after living in the same town for 25-yrs. Even though the new city is only an hour away, I ‘ve been questioning if this was the right choice? Was this the right thing to do?
Starting from scratch is difficult. Trying to start a business again is scary AF. Will I succeed? Will it be well received? Is it too late? Do I have the drive? Will I look ridiculous?
This past week, I made the decision to enter into therapy which, I’m hoping, will help me to get to the root of my “never feeling good enough” issues and also help give me the courage to face my fears and my self-doubt. It was not an easy decision to make but, it’s something I’ve felt I’ve needed for a long time. As a Black woman, I feel that therapy has always been thought of as a “white person thing”. In speaking with a wide variety of women of color on the subject of therapy, the feeling has been mutual: that it’s for “them” and not for “us”. However, not speaking about our fears and our trauma, as women of color, is hindering and hurting so many of us. It’s finally time and I’m hopeful. I’m also looking forward to getting to know myself better. Know thyself and do not harm…..those are my goals for myself that I hope to be able to share/spread to others.
That’s it! That all I’ve got and it’s who I am!
Am I happy? I don’t know. Honestly though, what I want for myself is to be and do better. I think that’s the most that we can hope to achieve. Self-growth!
Contact Info:
- Website: N.DanielDesigns.com (under construction)
- Instagram: N.DanielDesigns
- Linkedin: Natecia Daniel
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