We recently connected with Neal Bakshi and have shared our conversation below.
Neal, thanks for taking the time to share your lessons with our community today. So, let’s jump right in – one of the most essential skills for unlocking our potential is self-discipline. Where does your self-discipline come from?
Self-discipline has been something I have been grateful to find as one of my strengths in life. Per Oxford Languages, self-discipline is defined as, “the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.”
Familiar patterns, unhealthy habits, distractions, and procrastination can feel extraordinarily temping to indulge in. However, for me, I’ve noticed that the feeling of completion, accomplishment, and clear conscience that comes from completing any task often provides me with a more relaxed feeling of inner peace than any joy of succumbing to social media doom-scrolling, or mindless procrastination.
I believe self-discipline comes from a four core places:
<b>1) The joy from the feeling of “self-efficacy”
</b>According to PsychologyToday, “self-efficacy,” is a concept first developed by psychologist Albert Bandura in the 1970s. It has been shown to increase confidence and motivation. Low self-efficacy (or learned helplessness) is associated with anxiety, depression, lack of hope and lack of motivation… while higher self-efficacy is associated with life satisfaction, self-confidence, social connection, and growth mindset.
When you feel like you are efficient, your own intrinsic motivation grows from within. Just as a musician takes concerted effort and consistency to master their craft, the self-mastery that comes forth from self-efficacy is a feeling I have not been able to find outside of myself. It’s the same kind of feeling that comes from consistently taking care of your physical health (working out) and eating well — it’s something money or external means can’t buy, and leaves you feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally stronger.
Similarly, the ability to master one’s own emotions can greatly contribute to increased self-discipline. Life will consistently throw situations your way which may rock your boat or seem tempting, but your own ability to maintain clear and level-mindedness will allow you to accomplish anything in the face of seeming difficulty or fleeting sense-pleasure.
<b>2) Tangibly seeing the results of your effort
</b>There are few greater feelings than seeing something you have worked tirelessly on come into physical manifestation or completion. All of the countless hours of work, energy, and effort put into your creation lay before you in a finished end product! That tangible result is beautiful to behold. It shows you how you can take something that exists in the ideational plane of thought and use your innate creative power to make it real in this physical world.
Starting small and racking up wins with the low-hanging fruit offers you the momentum to keep going. Maybe it’s a 1-page journaling practice, 5 minutes of meditation in the morning, cooking a meal, or making space for an evening walk. When you start to take care of yourself and see tangible results from micro-practices you put into place, you will naturally grow more confident in your ability to accomplish more with your self-discipline. Soon you may even notice a desire to start your own business, create an inventive solution that solves a major problem, or kick your intentions into high-gear! Let the proof be in the pudding and the juice be worth the squeeze. You can do anything you set your mind to. Intention is what directs energy, and your mental willpower is what will lead you there.
<b>3) Reinforcement of your values and beliefs from doing what you tell yourself you are going to do
</b>This one builds on seeing tangible results, but when I tell myself I am going to do something and actually do it — I feel good! It reinforces the values I have in myself and it shows me how capable I am to do all the things I set out to — even hard things.
This has become such a beautiful thing for me, that in my morning journaling practice I’ve started to include “1 thing I’m committed to completing today.” This can be related to the work I do if I find myself procrastinating or in the throes of a meaningful project, but it doesn’t need to be something huge or even work-oriented. Some days for me it’s as simple as going for a walk, doing laundry, playing the handpan, or flying my drone for fun. When you start to make a commitment to yourself and your own growth, amazing things start to unfold in your life. Your own mental aptitude reaches a new level because you are consistently showing yourself how capable you are in any task in your life. The magic can even be found in simplicity.
<b>4) Letting a passion pull me forward and allowing myself to <i>play</i> through it all
</b>If we look at purpose in life, we can see four core types (according to Steve Taylor’s Power of Purpose TEDx Talk):
1) Personal Accumulative (material success)
2) Altruistic/Idealistic (making the world a better place)
3) Self-development (personal growth)
4) Transpersonal (stepping aside to allow purpose to flow through us)
Often times, people lack inspiration and self-discipline because they’re working a job they detest, returning to a physical environment which drains them, or feel like they are not contributing to a greater cause which provides fulfillment in their lives.
I believe each type of purpose has its time, and life circumstance can lead one to be a paramount object of guidance over the others. We need to grow ourselves first in order to be able to help others, and when we eventually find the place where our personal passion intersects meaning and service to others, we can tap into transpersonal purpose and let that wave carry us forward.
Finding my own version of transpersonal purpose – which I’ve come to find is my ability to help and guide others – makes self-discipline FUN for me (and yes, I did just say self-discipline is FUN for me). I’ve had the juxtaposition of climbing the corporate ladder in the investment banking world for nearly a decade vs letting purpose carry me forward through entrepreneurial endeavors. In one scenario, I was carrying a career vision behind me up into a hierarchical structure. In the other, I got out of my own myopic mental views of what a “successful life” was and allowed myself to let go into the hands of a Divine Power far more intelligent than I can even comprehend.
Play is a core component of all of this. If day in and day out, it doesn’t feel like you’re playing or having fun — you’ll look back on your life in 40 years and be miserable. Life moves fast. If you blink, you might miss it. We’ve often forgotten that children learn through play! As adults, since when did we decide to take life so seriously and forego our joy of play?
I’m not remotely religious, nor was I raised reading the Bible, but one quote has always stuck with me is from Matthew 18:3, “‘Truly I tell you,’ He said, ‘unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.'” To me – this means that the true way to our own freedom, self-liberation, and ability to create heaven on earth is through approaching all of life with childlike wonder and fascination. When we look through the eyes of newness with a vision of light, we remember the nature of our inner child and allow ourselves to play in the sandbox of life. In that space, our beingness becomes our artwork on the tapestry of our life.
Self-discipline can feel like a journey, but in my life I find that it can be both a science and an art. When I consciously direct my attention to it and allow myself to reap the joy from the fruits of my labor, it becomes an intrinsic motivator in my life. I remind myself to play, that my life is not lived solely for me, and when I offer loving service to the world, transpersonal purpose can guide me to exactly where I need to be, when I need to be there.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’ve come to discover in my life that I am not the “doer,” I am the one “being done.” Since leaving my role as a vice president in investment banking at Goldman Sachs, I have made spirituality and serving a Higher Purpose the north star of my life.
Today, I work on many different projects which all light me up. I am an angel medium – where I channel messages of people’s guardian angels and loved ones who have Crossed Over. In the past three years have delivered ~700 readings to people all over the world. I am a best-selling author with multiple published books, and keynote speaker on spiritual philosophy and conscious business leadership.
My main passion is creating and leading bespoke spiritual activation retreats and healing experiences around the world. I create and support conscious media through film and television projects, and sharing ancient and ancestral indigenous wisdom. I am the president of a non-profit, supporting healing for communities ranging from war veterans to trauma survivors and the homeless. I also still get to use my former finance knowledge as an angel investor and business advisor, supporting businesses serving the Highest Good of All.
The undercurrent of all of my endeavors is service. “How can I help and support others in a loving way?” is the question I ask myself. I’ve become trained and certified in over a dozen mental health and spiritual healing modalities ranging from life coaching, to energy healing, to breathwork, and multi-dimensional bodywork.
My greatest expansion is coming through story-telling in visual documentaries, more books with a deeper spiritual resonance, and my personal favorite – in person spiritual activation and healing retreats/experiences in beautiful and sacred places around the world.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The three qualities and skills which have been most impactful in my journey have been:
<b>1) A desire to learn
</b>The desire to learn is something no one can teach you. It is a fire from within. No matter what level of expertise you have in your work, when you approach each situation from the lens of a beginner, you open yourself to continual expansion and knowledge. This isn’t to say lack confidence, be humble yet confident. No one moment is the same, just as no one situation is the same (although it may seem that way). Utilize your strengths and prior experience, but know that there is something you can learn from every situation. How you respond to the situation <i>is</i> the situation. When you have a tenacity to learn in your everyday life, you will have a growth mindset which allows you to achieve whatever it is you want to do in life.
<b>2) Meditation
</b>We take care of our physical health through diet and exercise, our mental health through reading and writing, and our emotional health through avenues like therapy. Yet, more often than not, most people neglect arguably the most important aspect of their health – their spiritual or energetic health. This is the blueprint from which the rest of our lives are created. A daily mindfulness or meditation practice can play a crucial role in your ability to achieve emotional mastery, utilize sound discernment, and find inner peace. A study by neuroscientist Amishi Jha has shown that even 12 minutes of meditation a day can be enough to unlock five core benefits:
1) better focus and attention
2) improved working memory
3) reduced stress and emotional reactivity
4) greater situational awareness
5) experiencing sustained benefits over time
Meditation a simple practice, but one you can see magnified results from when done with intention and consistency.
<b>3) Love
</b>Love is always the answer. To me, this encapsulates the concepts of forgiveness and compassion as well. When we show up as loving people, we change the world we operate in. Hurt people hurt people. The majority of people who cause pain are in severe pain themselves. When we can show up with open hearts, compassionate eyes, and peaceful dispositions, we can truly create a world we all want to inhabit – one which flourishes with benevolence for all. Send that pure love energy from your heart to all those you encounter, and you will become magnetic for goodness and love in all forms of your life. The modern corporate world has sold its soul for profit. When we return to treating each other with love, we will be back to rediscovering the reason we’re here in the first place.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
The Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda has been one of the most impactful books in my development. It is no surprise that it was the only book on Steve Jobs’ iPad, and that everyone in attendance at his funeral received a copy of it.
Paramahansa Yogananda is a saint and Ascended Master who was able to master himself to be a lighthouse for others. His story illustrates the concepts of faith, magic, and self-realization through meditation and introspection. He shows how through complete surrender you can be guided on a life beyond what you can even fathom.
His first-hand accounts and stories show how faith and belief in a power of creation outside of oneself will deliver everything you need and more into your life. The wisdom of this book opened my path to a loving, service-oriented, and abundant life beyond my wildest imagination. It showed me how to balance materialism with spirituality to live in harmony with all.
Contact Info:
- Website: nealbakshi.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neal.bakshi/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nealbakshi/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@nealbakshi
Image Credits
Princeton Day School, Susan Magnano, Soufian Ahajam, Ashleigh Taylor Henning, Mike Messer
