Meet Nichole Donjè

We were lucky to catch up with Nichole Donjè recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Nichole, so happy to have you on the platform and I think our readers are in for a treat because you’ve got such an interesting story and so much insight and wisdom. So, let’s start with a topic that is relevant to everyone, regardless of industry etc. What do you do for self-care and how has it impacted you?

As a young theater director, I utilized numerous meditation tools, from physical warm-ups and stretching to grounding in preparation to work on the play. I was fascinated with both Eastern religions and Native American culture, all of which used movement, sound, and the mind-body connection; everything needed when working with actors. Back then I had no idea what I was doing. I was following my gut and my heart into whatever inspired me.

Flash forward some decades later and it was like life came full circle. When self-care became a priority for me, it changed my life. During the Covid lockdown, I was finally able to dedicate the time I had always wanted to build a meditation practice. I had started on and off for years but had never really made it the priority I wanted it to be. That’s how it started.

Meditating every morning led me to a deeper healing. I was finally seeing things from a different perspective; the veils I’d placed to cover the parts of myself I didn’t want to deal with started blowing open and away. I had finally started to feel like me again.

I started researching teachers and learning different methods. I was sharing live weekly meditations in a private Facebook group for my fellow members of The Players, a social club founded in theater that I’ve been a member of for over fourteen years. It was so fun and fulfilling to connect and share the calm I’d found with others, especially during such an unprecedented time when people really needed to connect. It made a difference. I made a difference.

I took a class to see if teaching was something I might be interested in. I found a coaching program and fell in love with it. In many ways it felt closely connected to my love of theater, reminding me how I used meditation techniques in my directing since college, but now understanding why they were so successful. From there I pursued a Meditation Coaching certification. I had always been drawn to life coaching and this aligned, it’s a bit like that, however, it uses meditation specifically to help someone ground themselves to be able to dig deeper at the moment to help find the answers they’re looking for. I was amazed at how natural it was to share energy, even virtually. I was hooked.

When we really listen, we connect, it doesn’t matter where we are. Since then, I’ve added journaling and writing to my rituals and as tools in my coaching practice. Being grounded and calm has helped me find joy and positivity through so many challenges.

In 2022 I became severely ill. It took 4 months to find what was causing the extreme exhaustion, constant fevers, and debilitating chills. That November I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a rare blood cancer, though it is the 2nd most common in the world. Once diagnosed I began treatment right away. I can’t say I had ever thought I would handle it as well as I did. I took in the information, stepped through the process, and took care of myself. Except for my husband’s support, I attribute my positive response to meditation and what I’d learned. I was able to keep calm and take one step at a time and 6 months later I was in remission.

Myeloma is an unusual cancer, in that, it is guaranteed to return, so that thought is always living somewhere under the surface. Unfortunately, this past September I relapsed and am currently back in treatment. I won’t lie; it was harder this time at first. But I’m okay. I’m grateful and positive more than not. Whatever is going on around me I can turn to the tools. I know firsthand the power they have and that makes sharing them as a coach not only practical, and fulfilling, but also important. I hope to work more with cancer survivors in the future. It is amazing how hard it is for some to simply be able to stop and breath. I can help with that.

On another note, it has made me an activist. For the past 2 years, I’ve been a team captain for the Myeloma Research Foundation’s NYC Run/Walk for a Cure. With just those 2 walks my team (The Bloodhounds) has raised over $40,000! I am so proud of that and can’t wait for next year and many more after that.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I’ve always been drawn to meditation, writing and theater. When I started college, I immediately got involved in theater, then never left. I started as a techie and designer, took that background and became a director, then added acting to the mix. Each show brought together a group of people and created this small somewhat dysfunctional and very tight family, something I was always seeking and still do.

Coaching became a natural choice for me. I have been a huge proponent of life coaching for years. Everyone needs someone who can be objective. Someone who is there for them, to listen and observe and ask questions to better understand what it is they want to accomplish and what’s in the way of that happening. I absolutely love that first session when I get to be with a client in the moment and ask, “What is your intention for today?”.

Sometimes it’s about pushing through a frustration, others it can simply be a need to breathe. I take whatever that is right now and spin it into a guided meditation to get started, to ground us together in the moment and see what comes up. That’s how and when we can dig deeper because everything else can be placed to the side for that time. It’s so satisfying at the end of a session and the client’s energy has shifted. They come in as bundle of nerves, rattled emotions, or overactive minds, and walk away able to take a deep breath knowing they have their next steps.

As a Coach, I offer:

*One-on-one sessions of 3, 6 and 8 weeklies; 45-60 mins each

*3-week workshops that follow a similar process but add a group dynamic. There is meditation, journaling and more based on a theme, then time to connect and share. I am always overwhelmed by the trust built in such short amounts of time, but coming from a theater background, it doesn’t surprise me. I have one of these workshops coming up the first weekend in March.

*A couple times a year I’ll do a 6-week workshop on the Chakras and how to work through them to remove the energy blocks to help people move forward. These are put on my website and announced in my monthly newsletters.

As an acting coach, I have a special niche with The Grounded Actor.

*I use meditation as a tool to help an actor learn to ground themselves in calm, a necessary skill for auditions and long waits backstage or on a film set.

*Meditation, visualization, and journaling also help the actor find a deeper connection to the character they’re working on.

*Acting can be incredibly taxing emotionally, and knowing how to stay calm and rooted is essential. When I coach, they work hard. Self-care is a necessary tool in the toolbox.

Working with people excites me. The notion that I can foundationally connect with someone to help them find the force within themselves to get whatever it is they want or need at the time; brings me joy. It’s hard work for both of us, but worth every breath. And, working with actors is a true passion, it’s a huge reason why I direct. I know what it’s like to be on both sides, I get it. There’s an intimate dance that happens when two artists work together to create something. Trust is huge and they trust me, it’s incredible.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

I’d say the three qualities that have been the most important in my journey are compassion, the ability to listen – which I attribute to my skill as a director, and my love of life (all life).

I think the first step towards living these truths is to learn to get quiet. This world buzzes around us at warp speed, we need to stop sometimes. It’s hard to be compassionate if you don’t even notice what’s happening. So take a minute, 30 seconds even. But stop. Breathe in and out, and simply count. That’s how it starts. Minute by minute. Eventually, they add up. If that’s too hard, think of something you enjoy doing like running or painting – now, do it intentionally when your mind is buzzing, but pay attention to the act, to how your feet or hands move, etc. Intentional awareness, that’s all it is. Just know that like any skill, it takes practice. Once we become self-aware, we can open ourselves to others. That is mediation, that’s why I love and recommend it. It’s for everyone, and not the woo-woo thing some make it out to be.

That leads to listening. I know I’ve been and still am sometimes so in my head that I don’t hear the fullness of what someone is saying. I have to stop myself. We have so many half-conversations. As a practice, try in one of your next conversations to repeat in your head whatever it is the person is saying so that you really hear it. It is a bit like a silent echo, that’s a listening skill. I find that learning about a person is what sticks. Engage in the conversation, ask questions, and be interested – even if you’re not, lol. Also, stick to what, and how questions – they are more engaging.

Last, do things you love. Be around people you love or animals or places. Stop waiting for when you think you “deserve” something or “earned” it. None of that matters. What matters is the present moment and giving yourself the gift of living in it.

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

When I first moved to New York City it was great, until it wasn’t. I struggled to self-motivate and as an actor found myself in constant states of comparison and self-destructive thinking. I became depressed. At that time, there was a new show called Starting Over. It was a daytime reality show where a group of women came to live in a house where they worked with a life coach (I’d never even heard of life coaching at that time), Rhonda Britten. It changed my life. Her 2 books Fearless Living and Change Your Life in 30 Days became my bibles of a sort. Even my husband started paying attention. I loved it because it was honest and hard, but compassion was always present. There are a few things that are literal daily nuggets that I live by and say to myself all the time. Here are a few:
1. Mind your words. Can’t, should, need, etc. Shift them for a new perspective.
2. Be aware of complaining buddies. Are there people who all you do is complain or gossip with? What is that giving you? What s it taking from you?
3. The biggest! Are you making it up or is it true? For instance, did your boss actually say, “You did a horrible job”, or is that what you assumed by a look or gesture? If you don’t know you don’t know. It’s amazing how this changes how I feel and respond to so many things.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.donjecoaching.com
• Instagram: @nicholedonje
• Facebook: @nicholedonje
• Linkedin: @nicholedonje
• Youtube: @donjecoaching
• Other: Linktree
  @nicholedonjehttps://donjecoaching.com/blog/

Image Credits

Scott Allinson