We were lucky to catch up with Nico Raineau recently and have shared our conversation below.
Nico, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
I haven’t found purpose; I’m still searching for it. For most of my life, I thought I knew my purpose. I’ve always wanted to work in cinema and, for the past twenty years, I have been building a career as a screenwriter and filmmaker. I went to film school, worked for celebrities, learned from Academy Award winners, won contests and awards of my own, and had my first feature distributed around the world. That said, the movie business has become increasingly challenging to navigate and a series of setbacks left me questioning if finding additional purpose in an alternative industry might also fulfill me.
It’s been twenty years of proving myself in the film business and I still don’t feel valued. It’s been less than five years since launching my company in the wedding business, and I’ve been embraced by a community who sees and champions me. I’ve been so warmly welcomed and encouraged by couples and peers that any impostor syndrome I had was quickly replaced with a strong sense of belonging. That is an experience I never had as a filmmaker, especially with regard to competition amongst peers, of which I find none in the wedding business because of how supportive my fellow officiants are of each other. I’m still a filmmaker and am actively working on multiple projects, but as my calendar fills with weddings more each year, it’s hard not to feel like the wedding industry is providing me with the validation I was seeking as a creative artist.
At the end of the day, what truly brings me joy is entertaining people and providing them with memorable experiences. It’s what continues to inspire me as a filmmaker, but the same thing fuels me as a wedding officiant. I love getting to tell love stories, writing jokes that make people laugh, pulling heartstrings that bring them to tears, and creating a moment in time that a group of people will cherish forever. There’s deep meaning in that work. Yet, I still feel restless and unsatisfied, always striving to do better, to reach more people, and to spread as much joy as I possibly can. Movies do have a much larger reach than individual ceremonies, but both hold so much value to those who experience them. So, I continue pursuing each film project and every wedding with the purpose of curating unique experiences and entertaining those who need to be uplifted. Maybe one day I’ll look back and be able to define what my purpose has been, but for now… I’m just telling love stories in every medium that values my voice.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
As a professional wedding officiant, I use my background as a screenwriter of rom-coms to get to know the couples I work with by learning their senses of humor, inside jokes, and fun anecdotes, and then I share their unique love story as if it were a romantic comedy, during their ceremony on their wedding day. Doing so allows them to experience their journey together in a cinematic and heartwarming way while also entertaining their guests. I carry these good vibes all the way through the ceremony, creating unforgettable moments that I hope become core memories for everyone present. It’s not uncommon for a friend or family member to come up to me afterward or express to the couple later that it was, “the best ceremony I’ve ever seen,” or that they didn’t know a wedding ceremony could be so much fun!
Ultimately, my goal is to create an unrivaled and wholly original experience, something that the couple and their loved ones will never forget. It’s a live performance customized just for them, full of love and laughter, and when it’s all over they are legally married. I’m trying to change the public perception of what a wedding ceremony can be, updating it to reflect what couples want today by focusing on celebration and personalized experiences. Every marriage is unique to the people creating it together, so each couple’s ceremony should reflect who they are – it should be one-of-a-kind! Wedding ceremonies don’t have to be stuffy and boring – they should be the start of the party! My ceremonies honor the traditions that couples want to uphold while breaking free from outdated customs that don’t reflect their individuality. In so doing, we’re creating a new version of a familiar milestone, one that I hope more couples will begin to recognize is an available option.
Most couples think that the only way for their ceremony to feel personal is to ask a close friend or family member to be their officiant. Most don’t even know that there is a third option: hiring a professional that fits their vibe and can create an experience for them and their guests. Not all professional officiants are entertainers, but my focus at RomCom Weddings is for every couple to look back on their wedding and realize that the most joyous and authentic memory they have from the entire day is the moment in which they actually got married – because that’s what the wedding is all about!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The three skills that I learned through being a filmmaker and that have contributed to my success in growing RomCom Weddings are…
(1) Storytelling – Having studied screenwriting and story craft for twenty years and then focusing on romantic comedy as a specific genre, I’ve become knowledgeable about tone, comedic rhythm and how to find a good balance of sentimentality within the narrative. It’s also helped me to notice thematic threads and know how to weave them throughout the story, so that poignant details pay off at the end of the story and land with emotional resonance. It’s honestly very enjoyable to learn a couple’s story, asking the right questions, and then fashion their tale into a fun and fresh retelling that allows them to relive their own journey in a completely new and novel way.
(2) Organization – I’m not a professional party planner but producing a film and coordinating a wedding require essentially the same skillset. With a background in physical production, I can arrive to any wedding with an immediate sense for where we are in the day-of schedule, what needs to be done to stay on time, who to talk to about any given subject, and how to work together to ensure the smooth execution of details. I’m comfortable in stressful situations and have experience as a communicator when navigate challenging circumstances. As the first person to greet the guests and set the tone for the entire wedding, it’s good to have someone who is calm under pressure and has leadership experience in front of large groups! Which brings me to the next point…
(3) Collaboration – At the end of the day, I’m here to deliver on what the couple wants. They have a vision for what they want to experience during their wedding and, more importantly, how they want to feel – it’s our job as wedding vendors to create that for them and it is a team effort. I’m only as successful as my colleagues allow me to be. Just like when making a movie, detailed preparation makes for smooth execution. None of which can be accomplished without skilled craftspeople coming together in their respective fields to create something more amazing in collaboration than any of us could have achieved individually.
As far as advice I have for folks who are considering becoming professional wedding officiants, ask yourselves these three questions:
(1) What makes you weird / different / stand out from the crowd and how can you make that the cornerstone of the services you provide?
(2) How can you show up authentically to make your clients feel seen in their authenticity?
(3) What can you do to ensure that everything about your brand and perspective are unique to you while also creating an individualized experience for your clients?
Other than that… have fun!
Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?
My ideal clients are couples who are interested in doing things differently, who want to give their guests (and themselves) a memorable experience, and who prioritize the ceremony because they understand that the part where they actually get married is what makes it a wedding and not just an expensive party!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.romcomweddings.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/romcomweddings
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/romcom-weddings-los-angeles
Image Credits
Shore & Wave, Lacey Moranville of LoveLace, Other photos courtesy of Nico Raineau
