We were lucky to catch up with Nicole Elias Seawell recently and have shared our conversation below.
Nicole, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
The true meaning of being resilient is the ability to respond to challenges in a way that I not only survive the challenge, but thrive in its overcoming. My ability to “bounce back” is related to my inherent optimistic, non perfectionistic and action-oriented approach to life. I am endlessly curious, grateful for everyday moments, and expecting the unexpected. Rather than ponder “why is this happening to me?” or be stuck in an endless anxious spiral, I focus on what my next action will be- even small actions- which broadens my perspective when things go sideways or unexpected pitfalls/obstacles happen.
When we are open, and with the right curated guidance, we can train ourselves to see multiple paths, be curious about those other paths rather than paralyzed by uncertainty, and be courageous to try them. Most things in life do not work out exactly as we might envision. That lack of alignment of actual versus expected can lead to paralysis. This paralysis is the opposite of empowerment.
I believe clarity often can only emerge through action and being able to take action is empowering for everyone which grows resiliency. My resilience, which often presents itself outwardly as optimism, is self perpetuating even in the face of professional or personal hardship. I attribute that to my clarity on what really could undo me. You know, the frequent question we ask ourselves: “What is the worst case scenario?” And 99% of life simply does NOT fall into the category of truly catastrophic.
My professional superpower is lending my combination of curiosity, gratitude, action orientation, and optimism to help clients to tap into their version of empowered resiliency even when it is not natural for them.
I am known as a Steel Magnolia for a big bright unwavering smile coupled with steely determination. I apply that combination in my leadership and team coaching “everything-has-a-solution” signature style. I use that mindset everyday in my work to keep my clients grounded and unstuck and becoming more resilient. Resiliency is key to succeeding in whatever matters to you as the amount of work it will take to succeed would stop any reasonable person from starting if they could not tap into resilience.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
My consulting company, Sailor’s Sweet Life, helps leaders and their teams to communicate better. And when they communicate better they lead better and create cultures where others can thrive too. My coaching grew from the fact that many times the real problem is how something is communicated, not what actually happened. We don’t work or live life alone. Interacting and communicating with others is a reality and the more skilled we do it, the better we lead, contribute and react. We each have a natural or default style of communicating. This style can be our biggest strength or biggest liability.
Ineffective communication is at the root of poor leadership, unproductive teams, unhealthy culture, failure to realize opportunities, hurt feelings, and high turnover. When a team is not well connected and collaborating, or working in a culture where they feel safe to raise their hands, communication is broken. Beer Friday or a company trip to Top Golf is not going to fix it.
The person who understands what others need in communication is the true leader. I call this Communication Intelligence (CQ). That person can pivot or tweak their style to meet the needs of the receiver or listener. When there is a true meeting of the minds, great outcomes result consistently. I help client build bridges in seemingly unrelated entities to create collaborative efforts for maximum positive impact. (To learn more about Communication Intelligence (CQ), https://sailorssweetlife.com/articles/does-your-team-ace-their-communication/)
When we work with clients, it is their opportunity to learn their communication style and impact, and then do better by using the Enneagram tool. The Enneagram delves deep into motivations, fears, desires, and core personality traits with nine archetypes. It doesn’t just categorize behaviors; it explores the underlying reasons behind them. This delve into understanding core motivations provides so much depth to a person’s understanding of self and others in communication, interactions, and relationships. It provides understanding of what is happening under the surface. (To learn about Enneagram, https://sailorssweetlife.com/articles/enneagram-to-maximize-productivity-during-meetings/)
For example, as an Enneagram archetype Three, I am motivated (not surprisingly) by the need to be productive, achieve success, and avoid failure which shows up as hardworking, goal-oriented, organized, and decisive. Skilled Threes are playful, pleasing, giving, and responsible. This self-awareness unlocks my ability to bring my best self to advise my clients. With an understanding and vocabulary around my motivations and that of others, I help my clients to understand themselves and their teams. With that identification, everyone now has an individualized roadmap for engaging with one another for skilled outcomes. Further, the team can learn from each other and how to leverage one another’s strengths for extraordinary results. (To see the Enneagram in play, visit my analayis of Ted Lasso (https://sailorssweetlife.com/articles/ted-lassod-your-heart-and-made-you-believe/) or The Office characters (https://sailorssweetlife.com/articles/practicing-the-enneagram-with-the-office/)
The Sailor’s Sweet Life approach combines science backed strategies with research proven tools to help leaders and their team increase performance. Think of this as a crash course in understanding yourself and others to do better, easier. I quickly assesses your team’s unique struggles and then facilitates a customized strategy forward. Work, like life, is NOT one size fits all.
About Nicole Seawell:
Nicole earned a BS in Industrial and Labor Relations from Cornell University and a JD from the University of Pennsylvania Carey School of Law. She is on faculty at the MEA where she co-leads with major thought leaders like founder Chip Conley, Dr. SriKumar Rao, Carolyn Luce Buck, Russ Hudson, and Dan Buettner. Nicole was a corporate attorney and business development specialist in the Denver area. Even as a young associate, she facilitated parties to find effective solutions and focus on shared interests to optimize outcomes for all parties. Her consulting business was born from this natural ability.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Three qualities that impacted and continue to impact my entrepreneurial journey are my willingness to try new things, adaptability to pivot as I learn what works better, and the keep going mentalityin tough moments or disappointments. Being an entrepreneur is not an easy path. And it is a path that requires willingness to rethink choices based upon the needs or feedback of clients or the market despite much time and effort put in on previous products. There are big highs with wins and an acceptance of the illusion of control as I work with and for others in my consulting and coaching business. The “illusion of control” is accepting I have control over myself and my best efforts, but not the outcomes or others. It is freeing. My enthusiasm propels me forward every day into the uncertainty and the possibilities that come from that uncertainty.
Being a lawyer by background is valuable not just in the ability to actually navigate the legal issues that arise, but also have the ability to quickly analyze complex issues and distill them into more simple, action oriented steps and strategize different approaches.
Advice to other entrepreneurs – entrepreneurship is a cross country marathon, meandering through woodlands, mountains and valleys hiding the course and the finish line – not a sprint where the winner’s ribbon is clearly in sight. So flexibility, resilience and consistency are key to succeed as an entrepreneur.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
My three sons are my best teachers in work and life. My “aha” moment was understanding that the effectiveness of an interaction lives with the listener or receiver’s ear (my sons) and not the intent of the speaker (me). While all of my intentions were loving, my intensity, confidence, and action orientation felt like too much to them at times.
Learning to communicate with my children as they grew and became independent in a way that made sense to them was pivotal in our relationships. I used those learnings to build a consulting company that has propelled my clients to more successful communications in their own roles as leader, professional, community member and family member. This is the same opportunity for all leaders – know your audience and pivot to meet their needs. Communication is key.
If you want to learn more for you or your team, I publish articles on my website diving deeper into CQ and Enneagram as well as share in a twice monthly LinkedIn newsletter. Also, please pick up a copy of my co-authored book, Leading with Self Awareness, being published this September where I go in depth of how to apply the lessons and learnings for you. Reach out any time by visiting www.SailorsSweetLife.com.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://sailorssweetlife.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sailorssweetlife/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Nicole.Elias.Seawell/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-elias-seawell/
Image Credits
Private photographers who released rights to me. No credits necessary.
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
