Meet Nicole Koch

We recently connected with Nicole Koch and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Nicole, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

I believe that finding your confidence is rooted in a lot of trial and error. Growing up I was definitely not like the kids in my class. I did Theater so I was social but had one or two friends. Middle School was traumatizing, to say the least; I was severely bullied which destroyed my confidence- and my desire to attend class. When I started High School I brought those traumas with me. I made some friends but had no concept of who I was, which meant I gravitated toward individuals that probably weren’t the best for me. I was often called ugly in the hallways and harassed online to the point where a girl in the grade above me (and a different individual I considered a friend) made a Tumblr account with my photos that contained captions to list everything they thought was wrong with me. I found it difficult to stand up for myself where I needed to, and by the time Senior year came, I knew that the majority of the people I hung out with for the last four years were not who I wanted to bring into the next chapter of my life. It’s not that they were bad people, but at that point I realized I deserved more. I was really struggling internally during that time. I kept quiet for years because I didn’t want anyone to get in trouble, which is something I’ve been able to forgive myself for.

Moving to LA for college allowed me to have a necessary change in people and environment. I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to be in a new city far enough from home that it forced me to learn how to handle things on my own. Since graduating, there have been plenty of learning opportunities- both failures and successes. Growing up I always wanted an older sister. It might sound odd, but I feel like current me is past me’s cool big sister. Like day by day in the years since that time I have held little Nicole’s hand and walked her through it. Almost as if I’m healing my inner child.

Overall, I am pleasantly surprised at how I’ve handled the discomfort, and I am very proud of who I’ve become. The woman I am today is worlds different from the girl I was back then. I only hope I continue to make mistakes, learn and evolve.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I majored in Musical Theater and I love acting so as much as I want to say that’s my only focus right now, it’s not. I have always been a performer at heart, but in the last year I have had a blast exploring other creative pursuits like modeling and content creation- I’m currently seeking representation in the Bay Area by the way! The kind of content I’m putting out right now is a lot of beauty, fashion/ lifestyle. I’m trying to approach it from a “this is what I’m working with” standpoint. I want people to go to my page and feel that my content is authentic. Right now I love Instagram reels!!

I also put an emphasis on taking care of myself before anything else; physically and mentally. I’ve noticed a huge trend in working to the point of exhaustion, it’s almost like people glamorize it. I used to think that the only thing that made me “successful” was how hard I worked, but I am so much more than the work I do. I am a hard worker, but I’m also a great friend, a kind, thoughtful person, and a strong woman. I make it a priority to show up for myself so I can show up for others. And if I’m having an off day- which is normal and okay- I will be in touch with my own needs and can communicate them accordingly. I have always considered myself an advocate for mental health but I really took the last 2+ years off all Social Media to focus on Nicole; and let me tell you, Nicole is really wonderful.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

I think the foundation of everything in my life has stemmed from how well I know myself at my core. I was very lost and sad in my teen to early adult years, as I mentioned before. I don’t blame myself for feeling that way, but I hadn’t really gotten to know myself yet. College (and therapy) threw me into that deep learning and exploration. I had this moment with myself where I thought “This is the body I am in for the rest of this lifetime. I want to make sure my soul is safe here. My priority must be me”. I was able to grow through what I was going through, and I still take the same approach now. I am able to see it from multiple points of view, rather than solely the lens of my uncertainty. I welcome the unknown and out-of-my-control more now than I ever have. However, I do want to stress that every day I learn something new, and I am not perfect by any means. I just now have the tools to walk myself through whatever I need to.

Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?

I start moving. I hold a lot of my anxiety and stress in my legs, and I will feel them getting uncontrollably shaky, almost as if I’m cold. I will literally stop what I am doing, put in my head phones and just walk. I’m tall, so I stride haha. Sometimes I will even pretend I’m on a runway. If I can’t go outside, I will dance it out. Whatever I need to do to release my muscles and set myself free. Movement is an incredible release, but of course remembering to breathe is also important. I go somewhere private, take a deep breath, and audibly exhale all the icky feelings. From there, I can proceed.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Image Credits to Kaitie Cavatio, Janee Green, Nicole Koch

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