Meet Nicole R. Goode, M.A., ABS, (PsyD Candidate)

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Nicole R. Goode, M.A., ABS, (PsyD Candidate) a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Nicole R., thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

Resilience is a word often thrown around, but for me, it is not just a trait—it is the very foundation of my existence. My resilience was forged in the fire of relentless and life-threatening abuse, beginning in my earliest memories and stretching throughout my adolescence. To call my childhood stressful would be a grave understatement; it was an unyielding battleground where survival was never guaranteed.

I grew up in a home where brutality was the norm—where my father’s fists spoke louder than his words, where my mother bore the weight of his rage long before I was even born, and where I learned, too young, that pain was a language I had no choice but to understand. The violence escalated after my mother escaped. With her gone, I became the primary target. In shielding my younger brother, I convinced myself that I was strong enough to bear the abuse—that I could withstand what he couldn’t. But in time, I realized that no matter how much I took, I could not protect him entirely from our father’s wrath.

Imagine a little girl, just a child, being punched in the face and head by a grown man. Imagine her being beaten unconscious, only to wake up to the continued assault. That was my reality from about five years of age until I was 19. But in that darkness, I found something within myself—something immovable.

I learned early on that when faced with impossible odds, I had to confront or be conquered, act or be overtaken, adapt or succumb. I chose to fight for my existence to be in this world. I chose to live, come hell or high water. I chose not to die. I refused to let anyone take my life. My will became unbreakable. I became fearless and fierce. My mind became my strongest weapon. I refused to be destroyed. I decided, long before I had the means to leave, that I would get out of my circumstances and overcome, that I would survive, that no one would ever lay hands on me again. And I kept that promise to myself. I honor myself deeply. “I do not play about me.”

Since then, nothing—absolutely nothing—has come close to the pain of my childhood. That suffering did not shatter me; it refined me. It made me formidable. It made me tenacious. It made me someone who not only survives but flourishes.

I am now nearly half a century old, thriving, indomitable, and unstoppable. I do not look like what I have been through, but I carry the strength of it in every step I take.

As Bernard Williams said, “Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.”

And as Vince Lombardi so wisely put it, “The darkest moments of our lives are not to be buried and forgotten, rather they are a memory to be called upon for inspiration to remind us of the unrelenting human spirit and our capacity to overcome the intolerable.”

I am living proof.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

Nicole R. Goode, M.A., ABS (PsyD candidate), is a distinguished psychologist, sociologist, sexologist, and erotologist dedicated to fostering holistic well-being through a multifaceted approach. Her practice seamlessly integrates psychological and sociological frameworks, ensuring that mental health and wellness consultations are both comprehensive and culturally attuned. By emphasizing the intricate interplay between individual experiences and societal structures, Nicole offers clients a profound understanding of their personal narratives within broader cultural contexts.​

In the realm of sexology and erotology, Goode specializes in sexual health and wellness, women’s sexual well-being, eroticism, intimacy, and both conventional and unconventional relationships. Her teachings are deeply rooted in Kemetic and Tantric philosophies, underscoring the sacred connection between spirituality and sexuality. This perspective empowers individuals and couples to explore their desires and relationships with heightened awareness and reverence.​

Beyond her therapeutic services, Goode is committed to holistic health and wellness coaching. Her programs address physical, psychological, cultural, social, and intellectual dimensions of health, promoting balanced lifestyles through activities such as somatic practices, dance fitness, nutrition counseling, and energy healing.​

For those seeking spiritual growth, Goode offers consultations that delve into the human experience from a spiritual lens. These sessions aim to enhance self-awareness and consciousness, providing clients with tools to navigate their spiritual journeys and connect with their higher selves.​

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Looking back, three qualities that were most impactful in my journey are resilience, strategic problem-solving, and self-awareness. Each of these played a crucial role in shaping who I am today and in overcoming the extreme adversity I faced.

1. Resilience – The ability to endure and push forward, no matter how impossible circumstances may seem, was the foundation of my survival and success. Life will present unimaginable hardships, but resilience is what determines whether we break or rise.
Advice:

Build resilience by shifting your mindset—view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles.

Develop emotional endurance through mindfulness, meditation, or journaling to process your experiences.

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. A strong support system can reinforce your inner strength.

2. Strategic Problem-Solving – Under extreme threat, I learned that ignoring problems is never an option. You must either confront them, take action, or risk being overtaken by them. Thinking critically and assessing the best course of action, even in high-stress situations, became a survival skill that now serves me in every aspect of life.
Advice:

Improve your problem-solving skills by learning to approach situations logically. Ask yourself: What is the core issue? What are my possible options? What are the consequences of each option?

Develop adaptability—when one solution doesn’t work, be ready to pivot.

Strengthen decision-making by practicing under pressure. Small daily decisions train your mind for bigger, more critical ones.

3. Self-Awareness – Understanding who I am, what I stand for, and what I will and will not tolerate has been essential in reclaiming my power and living life on my terms. Self-awareness helped me recognize my strengths and weaknesses, ensuring that I never adapted to dysfunction at the cost of my own well-being.
Advice:

Take time for introspection. Ask yourself: Who am I when no one is watching? What do I truly value?

Learn from past experiences—recognize patterns in your choices and behaviors, and adjust as needed.

Set firm boundaries. Self-awareness means knowing what is acceptable in your life and what is not. Protect your peace.

For those just starting their journey, my advice is simple: Commit to growth, never accept less than you deserve, and trust in your ability to rise—even when the odds are against you. Your past does not define you; your choices do.

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

The most impactful thing my mother did for me was escape. Her decision to leave an abusive marriage was an act of courage that changed the course of my life. Though I endured relentless abuse afterward, her departure planted the seed of survival within me—it proved that breaking free was possible. Rising like a phoenix was not just a hope but an inevitability, so long as I dared to live—boldly and without fear—no matter what life had in store.

On the other hand, my father’s greatest impact was probably unintentional by him but a part of the Divine/Higher Plan. His brutality forced me to develop resilience, mental fortitude, and an unshakable determination to never be harmed or diminished by anyone again. While his actions were devastating, they ultimately shaped me into someone who refuses to be broken.

From my mother, I learned the power of choosing oneself.
From my father, I learned that my mind and my will was more powerful than this world.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://nicolergoode.weebly.com/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-r-goode-m-a-/
• Other: https://linktr.ee/NicoleRGoodeMA

Image Credits

Royalty-free images.