We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Nicole Rizkallah a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Nicole, thank you so much for joining us and offering your lessons and wisdom for our readers. One of the things we most admire about you is your generosity and so we’d love if you could talk to us about where you think your generosity comes from.
As much as I strive for generosity, I have wrestled with my own limitations—particularly the struggle to receive love. To truly give, one must also learn to receive, and receiving often feels like the more vulnerable act. I’ve noticed that when I resist receiving love—whether out of pride, fear, or a false sense of independence—it creates a barrier within me that inhibits generosity. But in those moments of vulnerability, when I acknowledge my own need for love, I discover the essence of generosity.
A few years ago, I found myself overwhelmed and uncertain about my direction, juggling personal and professional pressures. One morning, I took a walk to clear my mind, feeling weighed down by my thoughts. Without a destination in mind, I simply needed space (or so I thought). Along the way, I ran into a friend I respected greatly but hadn’t seen in months. Sensing my unease, she invited me to sit with her at a nearby café.
What struck me most was that her guidance came not because I sought it, but because she noticed my need and reached out. Her willingness to offer support and insight without any agenda was a gift I didn’t realize I needed. That moment reminded me that the most profound guidance often comes from unexpected places, and the love and generosity we receive aren’t tied to our ability to ask for them.
True generosity, I’ve come to believe, is both spontaneous and surprising. It catches us off guard because it isn’t calculated or earned—it simply happens. This reflection resonates deeply with me because I know that the gifts and privileges I’ve received in life were neither deserved nor earned—they were unexpected. Generosity, then, is a response to reality: as I have been freely given to, my generosity toward others cannot depend on their actions or what they might give in return. To give generously is to affirm that the person in front of me is worthy of love and care simply because they exist. Generosity invites me to step beyond my small, controlled world and into something larger—a reality where love is freely given, not earned.
I think back to the ancient Greeks, particularly Aristotle, who emphasized eudaimonia, the flourishing life, which isn’t achieved in isolation but through cultivating virtue and meaningful relationships. Generosity becomes a shared experience, where both giver and receiver participate in a greater good—a richness that transcends individual gain. This recognition reminds me to live not out of self-sufficiency, but out of an interdependence that allows me to experience the greatest internal freedom.
When I allow myself to receive love without condition, it softens the edges of my heart and enables me to love better. Generosity is less about the act itself and more about a way of being—a commitment to seeing and responding to the humanity in others, even when it challenges me to grow.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m Nicole Rizkallah, an LMFT, and my passion lies in helping individuals, couples, and families navigate the complexities of their relationships and inner lives. My work focuses on creating secure, meaningful connections, both within ourselves and with those around us. I specialize in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a transformative approach to relational healing, and I integrate trauma-informed modalities like EMDR to help clients process pain and rediscover hope.
What excites me most about this work is witnessing transformation—when clients begin to see and experience themselves differently, when they repair wounds and reconnect with loved ones, or when they discover the strength to make meaningful changes. It’s a privilege to walk alongside people as they confront fears, deepen their understanding of themselves, and grow in love and empathy.
In a world that often oversimplifies human experiences, my practice, Orari Healing Therapy, seeks to honor the depth and complexity of each person. We don’t believe in reducing people to their symptoms. Instead, we focus on their distinct narrative, crafting care that truly aligns with their needs and aspirations. Our services are designed to support deep healing whether through standard weekly sessions, longer sessions, or intensives. For us, healing is about fostering deep, meaningful change by addressing trauma at its root.
Looking ahead, I’m excited to announce that we’ll be hosting more Hold Me Tight® workshops for couples. These workshops, based on the transformative principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy, provide couples with a structured and supportive space to deepen their connection, rebuild trust, and learn to communicate in a way that fosters closeness and understanding. Participants can expect a blend of guided discussions, practical exercises, and opportunities to explore their relational patterns in a supportive and confidential environment.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back, three qualities that have been essential to my journey are wonder, lightheartedness, and the ability to embrace discomfort.
Wonder has been a foundational part of my growth. It’s more than curiosity—it’s an awe-filled openness to the world and the people around me. Wonder has kept me grounded in gratitude and has allowed me to approach even the most challenging situations with a sense of possibility. For those starting their journey, my advice is to nurture your sense of wonder. Spend time noticing the beauty in the small things, ask questions with no agenda, and allow yourself to be surprised by life. Wonder has a way of keeping us engaged and connected, even when things feel uncertain.
Lightheartedness has also been an important quality to cultivate, though it wasn’t always natural for me. Life and work—especially in the field of mental health—can feel heavy at times. Lightheartedness isn’t about avoiding seriousness; it’s about finding moments of joy and levity even amidst challenges. It has allowed me to navigate difficult moments with resilience and to create space for humor and connection. For those early in their journey, remember that lightheartedness isn’t a sign of taking things less seriously—it’s a reminder to approach life with playfulness and grace.
Finally, the ability to embrace discomfort has been transformative. Discomfort comes in many forms—uncertainty, vulnerability, or the tension of holding conflicting truths. Learning to sit with discomfort has been one of the most challenging yet rewarding parts of my journey. It’s taught me to lean into growth, to stay present with others in their pain, and to let go of the need for quick fixes or easy answers. My advice is to practice being curious about your discomfort. Instead of avoiding it, explore what it’s teaching you. Whether through mindfulness, therapy, or simply slowing down in the moment, learn to make space for discomfort. It’s in those uncomfortable places that some of the greatest growth and connection occur.
These qualities—wonder, lightheartedness, and a willingness to embrace discomfort—are not things you master overnight. They’re ongoing practices that require patience and self-compassion. But in my experience, they can profoundly shape how you approach your work, your relationships, and your own personal growth.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
One book that has profoundly shaped me is The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky. It’s a rich and complex exploration of faith, love, suffering, and the human condition. What resonates most with me is how the novel doesn’t offer easy answers—it reflects the messiness of life and the ways we wrestle with deep questions about meaning.
One of the most influential ideas for me is expressed in the idea of “active love”—a love that isn’t abstract or sentimental, but something lived out in the daily grind of life, requiring patience, humility, and forgiveness. The novel suggests that real love demands vulnerability, and I’ve come to see this echoed in both my personal and professional life. True healing and connection come when we lean into this kind of love, even when it’s uncomfortable or imperfect.
The novel also delves deeply into the brokenness of family life, which is another theme that profoundly moved me. The Karamazov family is marked by betrayal, shame, and conflicting ideologies. Each brother embodies a different struggle—faith, doubt, hedonism, or a quest for justice—and their interactions are fraught with pain and misunderstanding. Yet, amidst all the brokenness, there are glimpses of love.
This taught me something invaluable: even in the midst of familial chaos and ideological conflict, love is still possible. It’s not about waiting for others to change or for circumstances to improve, but about choosing to love anyway—through the mess, the disagreements, and the pain. Dostoevsky challenges us to see the humanity in those closest to us, even when their flaws seem insurmountable. He reminds me that love within families, though often the most difficult, is also the most transformative.
The novel challenges me to recognize that we are all interconnected—that the brokenness in the world isn’t just “out there,” but also within me (within us). This reality has pushed me to reflect on how I engage with others, especially in moments of conflict or misunderstanding. It’s taught me that generosity often comes from seeing myself as part of a larger human story, rather than retreating into my own isolated experience. The novel doesn’t shy away from the reality of pain or injustice, but it also suggests that through suffering, we can find purpose. That paradox is something I see reflected in the lives of my clients, and it’s a reminder to me that while suffering is inevitable, it can also be a path to deeper connection.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.orarihealingtherapy.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/orari.healing.therapy/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/98854534/admin/dashboard/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@OrariHealingTherapy
- Other: http://www.azeftcouplesintensive.com
https://nicolerizkallah.substack.com/p/hello-and-welcome-to-my-substack
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