We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Nikki Hru a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Nikki, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
The way my family and other adults who knew me in childhood would explain it, I came into this world knowing exactly who I was. From the moment I could develop opinions, I was sharing them. From the moment I could have preferences, I was voicing them. From the moment I could express myself, I expressed myself as exactly who I was at the time. It seems to me, that is what people view as confidence. However, I found my self questioning their definition.
When I think of confidence and self-esteem, I think of all the ways I devalue myself in my head. There’s always a voice telling me I’m not working hard enough or far along enough in my career. That my body isn’t quite right, or my voice is too “manly”. Even in regard to me as a person, as someone who spent majority of their childhood being bullied, I question how “good” my personality is, how “good” I even am. I do not think I am unique in these thoughts, as I find all of us have some sort of insecurity. However, for a long time, I couldn’t accept being called “confident” because I thought these fleeting and reoccurring insecurities were the antithesis of a such a label. How could I be confident when I second guess my social aptness? Feel insecure about my appearance? Any of it honestly. Surely, I thought, all of these inner struggles were simply proof that people were mistaken.
Then I began to grow in both age and wisdom. I began to understand what real confidence was. I realized that being so aware of my insecurities as a concept, openly admitting them, and eventually accepting them; I took power away from them. I don’t try to counter my insecurities, rather I try to radically accept myself and, by extension, them. More often than not, that radical acceptance also eventually rid me of the insecurity in the first place. I came to the conclusion that confidence came from my commitment to being authentic and being open to correction. I’m not afraid of being wrong, so therefore I am okay showing up and taking up adequate space.
At the end of the day, I am who I am. I may not always be right, but I know I am consistently coming from a genuine place. I show up with kindness and compassion, and I show up ready to work. With those internal pillars, and a dedication to bettering myself everyday, how could I be anything other than confident?
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I do a lot! I act, box, and sing!
First, the acting. I have been in love with acting for as long as I can remember. I fell in love with the stage and with performing almost immediately as a child, jumping at any chance I could. The craft of it is so incredible and intricate, I adore growing and building my strength as an actress. Of course, how every actor acts is different. We all have a process. For me though, something that really impassions me when going through my process, is the unbelievable amount of empathy I develop for my characters. To understand another person, even a fictional one, in such depth as to authentically portray them within the confines of the script; it’s only deepened my compassion and love for other people in my everyday life.
Going into the more surprising of the three, I am currently a double belted influencer boxing champion! I am Influencer Fight League’s (IFL) Featherweight champion and Influencer Championship Boxing’s (ICB) Super Bantamweight champion. I feel so honored to represent both of these incredible organizations and beyond grateful that they have given me the opportunities they have. Especially the opportunity to represent women in combat sports, as I am the FIRST woman to hold both of these belts. I am truly amazed at the community I have been welcomed into over the last couple years. I have met so many insanely talented, driven, and kind people doing this. I’m simply honored by all of it, and humbled to be surrounded by so many incredible athletes. I have especially found a second-home in Fortune Boxing Gym with my unbelievably skilled (and funny) coach, Tam. I simply cannot wait to see how we progress forward.
Lastly, I sing! I have sang since I could talk, basically. I was very blessed to be trained by my dad initially, who is a classically trained vocalist with an incredible life of accomplishment. So I could not have asked for a better coach! For me though, singing was always more of a hobby. Musical theater and blues/jazz have always had my heart. I am excited to begin moving forward and toward creating my own music! I hoping to have something released (other than covers) by the end of next year.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. I don’t know what to label this. That being said, I have an insatiable desire to learn. Not just academically, but also learning about people and cultures and perspectives. I have found that an intense, nonjudgemental curiosity has brought me so much depth to my understanding of the world and people, along with giving me a wonderful ability to connect with some of the most diverse and amazing people. What I have gained from that aspect of my personality has been one of the most valuable parts of my life. There are teachers everywhere, and I am blessed with an ability to find them and learn from them.
I think the best way to develop this is to read, listen, and suspend judgement. Be curious! Stay open minded and collect data. Realize that every single person you meet, even if you aren’t meeting them in person, has the ability to teach you something.
2. I embrace the suck. Whether it’s training for the ring, running a marathon, going through Spartan or Tough Mudder; I just embrace the suck. I continue putting one foot in front of the other, and I just won’t quit until it’s over. I remember once, I could not sleep for the life of me the night before a marathon. I ended up running on about 2 hours of sleep. I basically collapsed after I crossed that finish line (really got my banana and then sat down and fell asleep for about 10 min). I was exhausted. I almost cried at one point, which is a whole other story for a whole other time. Still though, I just kept moving forward. I embraced the suck until I was done. In the end, it was an absolutely unreal feeling of accomplishment. Embracing the suck has given me incredible memories and absolute fortitude.
My advice on how to develop this is just to do it. I’m not sure how else to explain the feeling. How I tend to break it down when I’m feeling as though I’ll fail, or I’m close to giving up, I think of how far I’ve gone. Once I hit that half way mark, well then I’ve already done it. I just have to do what I’ve already proven I can do. I’m not sure if that quite makes sense, but simply put, just embrace the suck. And remember how incredible you’ll feel after you finish. Start with the small things and work your way up to the big.
3. Adaptability. I think this one is similar to “embracing the suck”, but in my head it is distinctly different. I think to explain this one, I need some context. I’ve travel a lot, and have done so in great part on my own. Being in new places with new people, new customs, new cultures; everything changes. I have had to let go of very imbedded ideas of what “manners” are, of how one is “supposed” to interact with others, of honestly everything. Being open to having everything I know to be “right” suddenly be “wrong” within a certain environment has enforced an idea of adaptability in me. Like water, I suppose (analogy curtesy of Bruce Lee).
Don’t settle into routine. Go be spontaneous, and just follow small impulses. If you feel the urge to go for a picnic, just do it! If your friend messages you for a sudden trip to the lake, or honestly whatever it is. Go. Don’t get caught up in the plans too much. And also, be open to having what you think is “right” be “wrong”, and then pivot. Start small. Work your way up. Adapt.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
Oh, I love collaborating!
If you want to make fitness content (specifically fighting, but general fitness as well!) please reach out to my instagram.
If you are a film maker and have a part you think I might be right for, please reach out on instagram!
If you want to make music together, I write and sing, and would love to cowrite something! Again, reach out on instagram.
I also cosplay, do stunts, and heaps of random interests. So if you have any ideas that you want to run by me, feel free to message me!
My handle on everything is @NikkiHru .
Contact Info:
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/nikkihru
- Twitter: www.twitter.com/nikkihru
- Other: I’m @NikkiHru on anything and everything I have an account on.
Image Credits
@icaptureviolence @atlasrosestudios @brileypizzelanti
