Meet Olivia Abousaid

We were lucky to catch up with Olivia Abousaid recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Olivia, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

Resilience is such a loaded word isn’t it? It can mean so many things to so many people. For me, there’s a certain tenacity engrained in resilience. I got it from my parents in more ways than one. My parents were immigrants to the U.S., and I am first-born, first-generation. Which means, I was the guinea pig in many ways. My parents learned a lot about American culture through me, and like many immigrants, they struggled for several years to find their footing both culturally and financially. I watched them go through a lot of hardships. They gradually but eventually found a community, navigated American cultural differences, and became more financially stable. I learned that there aren’t any easy solutions or quick fixes. Life is the long game, and hard work has its rewards.

My parents are also Palestinian and have experienced war and other hardships that most Americans have been fortunate enough to forgo. It gave them, and me, a certain survivability. You don’t have a choice but to keep going. So, you keep going. While I inherited the generational trauma of their lived experiences, I also inherited a certain tenacity and stubbornness that just doesn’t allow me to give up. I’m grateful for that.

I experienced great loss when I lost my father to sudden cardiac arrest in 2001. There were times when the grief felt like it was more than what the human mind was designed to handle, like I was going crazy. And yet, I handled it. I learned that grief never really ends. You find tools to get through it. That’s resilience.

Resilience is something I try to bring into my work as a transformational and grief coach. It’s not about ignoring grief. Rather, it’s about allowing yourself to go through it, and to navigate it using certain tools. We all still have some control, even when things feel out of control.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’m a Master Certified Professional Coach (MCPC) specializing in transformational coaching for the BIPOC community and grief coaching for the MENA community and allies. I offer one-on-one coaching, and I’ll soon be offering group coaching sessions and workshops, as well.

As you can probably imagine, there’s been a lot of grief both in and around the Palestinian community lately. The genocide there and in Sudan, in Congo, in other places around the world have really taken their toll on people everywhere. These massacres are violent; they’re devastating, and they’re ongoing. There’s a large community of people out there who are searching for ways to be resilient in the face of so much grief.

I’m really seeing that there’s a vacuum out there in the amount of resources available to these communities that directly addresses bearing witness to genocide. I’m trying to do my part to change that. I want people to know they’re not alone in their grief and their concern. My coaching can provide a culturally-sensitive and empathetic ear as well as tools to help with grieving and resiliency. It’s also more important than ever right now to find communities of like-minded people who don’t politicize or minimize the ongoing trauma.

I’m currently working on a toolkit that will offer several resources for self-care, mental health, advocacy, and more. I’m working quickly to get that out as soon as possible, as I know there’s a real need for it. It will be up on my website as a free offering.

Part of my own resiliency lies in the ability, and really the need, to help others. I think a lot of other people feel this, too. There’s a certain feeling of empowerment that comes with helping others. We don’t feel so powerless and out of control in the face of grief when we reach out to others for help or for service.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I’ve always had a curious mind, which has fueled my life-long love of learning. I combine that curiosity with listening. We learn so much when we stop to listen. When I started to study coaching, I was excited to learn that listening is a big part of it. People want to be heard, and they don’t often get the chance to express themselves in non-judgmental ways. I’ve found that a lot of people don’t often take the time to think of their own needs and wants, and it’s only when they sit down in a coaching session that they start to communicate those needs for the first time in a long time. I want to provide my clients the space to express themselves, to get things off their chest, and to be heard.

Empathy has always been a big one for me, too. I always try to put myself in people’s shoes. I often wonder what it must be like to see things from their perspective. I think that in the hustle and bustle of daily life, it can be really easy to get tunnel vision about certain things. We do things one way, so why isn’t everyone else doing it that way? Taking an empathetic approach to life has really helped me to understand where people are coming from and how they want to be understood.

I think it all starts with listening with an open mind and open heart. We have so much to learn from one another.

How would you describe your ideal client?

A good candidate for coaching is someone with a growth-mindset who is open to asking for and receiving help. This can be especially hard for independent types, like me, but the willingness is what matters. Someone who is ready to transform their life in a meaningful way and who understands that it won’t happen overnight, is someone who is ready to be coached. Change—real change–takes time and takes work. A coaching client must be committed to bettering themselves and holding themselves accountable.

Clients who are open to processing their dreams, concerns, fears, and grief in a supportive environment are ready for coaching. The clients I have tend to value working with a coach who has a similar background to them, who values their cultural sensitivities. They are often able to bring their guard down when working with someone who knows that our ethnic and racial backgrounds can add another dynamic to how we experience the world.

My clients are willing to accept that sometimes we create our own roadblocks through limiting beliefs, and together we work at removing those obstacles on their way to success. They’re open to exploring new perspectives and trying new tools. Lastly, they accept that the best kind of validation comes from within. A really important aspect of coaching is that it teaches self-validation, which in turn improves self-esteem and self-confidence.

I also challenge my clients to look outside of themselves to find community and to help others. It’s in these ways that resilience is built.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.pact-coaching.com/
• Instagram: @pact_coaching

Image Credits

Jeremy Cole / Cole Photos