Meet Onnie Michalsky

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Onnie Michalsky. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Onnie below.

Hi Onnie, so happy to have you on the platform and I think our readers are in for a treat because you’ve got such an interesting story and so much insight and wisdom. So, let’s start with a topic that is relevant to everyone, regardless of industry etc. What do you do for self-care and how has it impacted you?

Years ago, I struggled to do anything for myself that didn’t directly benefit my family including self-care. With six children, I not only found it difficult to do any sort of self-care such as get a shower or do my hair, much less extreme self-care practices like yoga or therapy. My health declined as a result which affected all the areas of my life, including my relationships and my self-esteem. Yet, I discovered that before I was able to start taking care of myself, I needed to change the way I felt towards myself. It wasn’t working the other way around. I couldn’t wait until I was all taken care of to love myself.

I began to do much-needed work on my mindset, including letting go of perfectionism, strengthening my boundaries, challenging unrealistic expectations, and making time and space for myself. I started with attending a dance fitness class, and with the high energy and girl power I found there, it wasn’t long before I was hooked. With that, I started getting interested in what I was putting into my body, spending more time on cooking nutritious meals and learning how to cook healthier foods. I was waking up earlier as my days were still filled with taking care of my family, but since I was fueling myself better, I had the energy.

Little by little, I started adding other activities to my bookends- the mornings and evenings that allowed me to feel good and set my future self up for having good days. I began reading the Bible and other non-fiction works. Personal development books started to take over the fiction books that once graced by bedside table. I started to write my thoughts and feelings in my journal which helped me make sense of what I was going through. It allowed me to put words to my experience which I could then share with my husband. Expressing my feelings turned out to be a contributing factor to an improved marriage and because my children saw that I was taking care of myself, they were inspired to eat healthier and move their bodies more.

My self-care routine did not happen overnight. It was a culmination of years where I implemented activities little by little, experimenting with what made me feel better. I now help other moms who have lost themselves within motherhood carve out space for themselves, much like I did. It starts with mindset and ends with a much happier and fulfilled mom.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

Moms Without Capes is all about serving women who feel lost in motherhood. Through community, events, and education, I provide support to mothers who don’t seem to recognize their own worth and as a result engage in supermom behaviors. As a licensed therapist, my background is cognitive-behavioral therapy, which means much of my work is based on the premise that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors stem from the beliefs we hold about ourselves, others, the world, and even motherhood itself. We do a lot of challenging the inner mean girl (our inner critic), unrealistic expectations, and people-pleasing tendencies. One of the main values behind Moms Without Capes is fun and we want moms to realize that they can have fun too. By learning how to hang up their proverbial cape, women can step off the back burner and begin to intentionally bring fun back into their lives.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The three qualities that were most impactful in my journey are my ability to persevere, possessing a growth mindset, and managing my time effectively.

Growing my business has been a very slow process. It has been five years since I left the mental health agency and decided to start a business. I hired a business coach and a whole new world opened up for me. One of the first lessons I learned was that I must value progress over perfection and messy action is better than no action. I am an action-taker so embracing this concept was not too hard for me. Although I have changed my target audience and developed different programs and ways to support my clients, my overall mission of serving others has not changed and I continued to persevere despite failed launches and challenges along the way. What has enabled me to persevere is a strong desire to make a positive mark on the world. This continues to push me forward. Finding your why makes all the difference.

Having a growth mindset is the second quality that has been most impactful in my journey. Even before I read Mindset by Carol Dweck, I believed that we have the power to grow and change. Because I believe this about myself, I have been able to remain steadfast in my entrepreneurial venture, feeling confident that I will eventually figure it out. Rather than avoid challenges that come up, I have been able to embrace them and view them as opportunities to learn and grow as a business owner. I enjoy reading about the successes of entrepreneurs before me as I am inspired by their growth and resiliency. A person who desires to obtain a growth mindset can do so by intentionally shifting how he or she perceives challenges and becoming more aware of the role he or she plays in overcoming them.

Finally, there’s the way I manage time. I owe this quality to the formal education I received as I attended a private school and time management was a much-needed skill that had to be developed to keep up with the rigorous demands. I use a planner to block out my time to include time to work in my business (seeing clients) and on my business (marketing, content creation, and finances). I also block time to be with my family, tend to my own needs, and relax. Every week looks different and I continually assess my priorities to feel aligned with my purpose. If a person is interested in becoming a better manager of their time, my first advice would be to look at how he or she is using time presently and assess what can be eliminated, automated, delegated, or intentionally procrastinated. Awareness is key and so one must know where he or she is now to figure out what small changes can be made for improvement.

Tell us what your ideal client would be like?

The person who would most benefit from the services I provide is a mother who feels overwhelmed, stressed out, and emotionally exhausted. She has completely lost herself in the everyday chaos of trying to be the mom she thinks her kids need her to be. My ideal client is ready for change and is tired of hiding in the bathroom just to get a break. Her children are likely of school age, and she hasn’t done anything that brings her joy just for the sake of doing it for a long time. Her partner is willing to help but he needs direction and this only contributes to the already heavy mental load she is carrying. She may feel resentment towards her partner, which is affecting their relationship but she feels incredible guilt about taking any time for herself. Self-care, hobbies, going out with friends, having fun- these are all a dream and my ideal client feels burnt out and ready to break.

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Image Credits

Photos by Onnie Michalsky

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