We were lucky to catch up with Pamela Brooks recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Pamela, thank you so much for joining us today. There are so many topics we could discuss, but perhaps one of the most relevant is empathy because it’s at the core of great leadership and so we’d love to hear about how you developed your empathy?
As social workers and therapists we are afforded the opportunity engage in a variety of experiences to teach us to be effective and empathetic professionals. We learn through class lectures, reading materials, and internship opportunities. By the time I graduated with my master’s in social work, I was fully confident in my abilities to not only be an effective therapist, but an empathetic therapist who could meet a client where they are in their struggle or stage of change.
A few years after graduating and establishing myself in the community mental health clinic as a child and family therapist, I found myself in the midst of two consecutive family stressors that have entirely changed the course of my personal and professional life.
My father required a kidney transplant evaluation, dialysis, and later a successful kidney transplant. Seeing the strongest, smartest, and kindest person in my life overcome the physical and psychological pain of dialysis was gut wrenching. Seeing the people around him at the dialysis center without loving family support, was even more painful. The fear that a donor would not come forward was terrifying. Even after a successful living donor kidney transplant, every time he gets sick, or when the pandemic began in 2020, it feels as though his kidney could go into rejection. Watching my father go through this as not only his daughter, but as a professional has given me a sense of connection to any patient who is experiencing a medical diagnosis or is supporting their family through one.
Less than a year after my father’s kidney transplant, I was faced with the greatest obstacle of my life. I was had to file for divorce when I had a newborn. This shook me to my core. Everything I had believed in felt broken. The life I had planned vanished instantly. The pain and later resilience I built has afforded me an entirely new perspective and understanding of life. In the words of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” Her quote resonated with me and it is one I often share.
When I connect with patients and people within the community, I am not sitting on my ivory tower, I am eye level with them. I have lived experience I draw upon, as I strive to demonstrate my understanding and human side using my nonverbal communication, without ever verbally sharing my story.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I graduated from Pitzer College, in 2009 with a major in psychology, completed an honors thesis, and was president of the Psi-Chi. I earned my master’s in social work from Arizona State University in 2011. Since college I have engaged in rewarding internship and later career opportunities that cover the entire life span in diverse environments and populations. These include schools, community mental health, behavioral health group homes, long term care facilities, a transplant center in a world-renowned hospital, and my mentor’s private practice.
Over the past eight years my passion and expertise has emerged from my lived experiences. Working in the transplant center alongside my father’s transplant team has been humbling and immensely rewarding. I have supported hundreds of living kidney donors on their journey as well as providing guidance and education for both kidney donor and recipient caregivers. Each morning when I greet new living kidney donors, I feel the same joy and gratitude as my first day eight years ago. This unbelievable miracle is never lost on me nor how a life and family is forever positively impacted.
My passion for therapy can be traced back to high school, when I received the numbing phone call from a family friend, sharing they were at the scene of a terrorist attack and his daughter was the latest terror victim. Watching the immediate and the ripple effect of terrorism and trauma on our friends drove me into studying trauma. I am trained in Prolonged Exposure Therapy, which is a technique that allows individuals to move past the debilitating symptoms of trauma and into a more normal and fulfilling life. I also work with anxiety, depression, pain, life transitions, and difficulty with sleep. To address these symptoms, I am also trained in Trauma Informed Yoga, and cognitive therapies (including those that focus on pain and sleep), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. These techniques are all geared towards improving quality of life. I am excited to share that after 13 years in practice I am just opened my own tele health private practice working with adults who are located anywhere in Arizona.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
During my first year of graduate school, I learned the importance understanding myself. Know your biases and continue to be aware of them throughout life. This is especially true in today’s climate, and it is critical that we as therapists continue to do our own work so we can be professional and prepared for any client who asks for our support.
Self-care is not selfish, it is essential as a therapist, mother, and quite frankly, to be a fully functioning human in our society. Self-care comes in many forms, and coping skills are among my favorite to teach. Everyone regardless of age, race, religion, and life experience will benefit from utilizing positive coping skills.
Trauma is complex, it is not the event itself, but the way in which our body and mind interpret the event. This impacts the way we as therapists approach trauma. The great Bessel A. van der Kolk states this eloquently. “We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think.”
-The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
My advice for others who are beginning their journey:
Choose your opportunities wisely. Think about the personal and professional impact an experience can have on your current life and on your future goals.
Find yourself mentors who are intelligent, excellent teachers, and supportive of your goal.
Be mindful of having a work-life balance, because being present with family and friends is critical. They will support, inspire, and allow you to be vulnerable.
Engage in self-care. This is not just advice for clients, but for yourself. Regardless of your career choice, you will have stressful moments and need to habituate yourself to utilizing positive ways to recharge, release stress, and feel inspired.
Continue to learn and perfect your craft. This does not only mean reading or attending in person trainings. You can listen to podcasts, webinars, and talk to mentors or other people in your field. You want to know the current trends and what techniques or workflows are effective in your industry.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
As a therapist, I teach my clients to build healthy coping skills into daily routine, so they can mediate feelings of stress and panic when they arise. This routine and habituation towards healthy skills is an invaluable protective factor. While these skills do not solve problems, they allow one to be in calm and in rational state to make decisions, allowing you to work through challenges. Both my personal and professional success depends upon this. Taking the time to commit to an exercise routine, yoga, journaling, family, and community have been my “security blankets” throughout adulthood. Throughout the course of therapy with my clients, or when I have created workshops, I focus on various healthy coping mechanisms that can be implemented into daily life. Some of these skills include breathing skills, imagery, grounding, and progressive muscle relaxation. My favorite part of the job is when I see my clients, who are successful professionals, utilizing these skills, and hearing how they were assets in their journey towards success.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.brookscounselingaz.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookscounselingaz/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100093552574443
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamela-brooks-71a023268/
