We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Patricia Barnes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Patricia below.
Patricia, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I believe your confidence starts during your childhood. If you have family and teachers who pour into you with positive affirmations to help build your confidence as well as teach you body positivity that will encourage you and keep your confidence in adulthood. During my adolescence years kids use to call me skinny. I would be sad and tell my mother. Mommy “such and such said I was too skinny, I need to gain weight”. My mother would laugh and say “you’re fine sweetie they just wish they were skinny”. So, my mommy help build my confidence in my teen years.
Although, I had confidence in knowing I was a pretty girl and I focused a lot on beauty in my teen years and early adulthood.
As far as my appearance, I believe you have to do whatever makes you feel beautiful. I keep my body weight at a certain range that will make me feel pretty when I put my clothes on. I maintain a skincare routine, drink water, and take vitamins. More importantly, I give myself grace to accept my body shape and never compare myself to someone else’s body especially on social media. People use filters and all kinds of applications to appear perfect. No one is perfect, love yourself, and take pictures to capture those moments you feel beautiful.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’m a motivational speaker, personal development coach, and author. The most exciting part about what I do is celebrate how far I have come as well as helping others. Interestingly, I’m an introvert who prefers behind the scenes work. I use to run away from any and all opportunities to speak publicly even within small groups. I don’t like attention or the spotlight.
I had social anxiety and still manage to work through anxiety related to public speaking. But there’s a saying by Woody Allen “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” My career goal was to become a Registered Nurse which I am but I get way more excited about teaching and watching my clients and patients accomplish their goals we set together. I’m ecstatic to share my brand is expanding with online courses and individual and group coaching sessions.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back the three qualities that were the most impactful in my business journey was self-belief, perseverance, and willingness to be coachable. Let’s break each one down. Self-belief is defined by Teesside University as “Self-belief (or self-efficacy) is a person’s belief in their ability to complete tasks and to achieve their goals. Judging yourself to be capable of success increases your chances of actual success”. If you don’t believe you’re capable of achieving your goals and dreams then it doesn’t matter how many people tell you, you can do it. At the same time it doesn’t matter how many people tell you, you’re not good enough or you will never achieve your goals and dreams if you have self-belief, you will accomplish your goals.
Next you need perseverance. According to Merriam-Webster perseverance means “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition”. When you have perseverance no matter what obstacles come your way, how many no’s you get on your journey, or how long it takes to accomplish your goals and dreams you will not stop until you achieve your goals.
Finally, you need to be coachable. Britannica Dictionary defines coachable as “capable of being easily taught and trained to do something better”. At this point in my life I don’t want to waste time figuring things out on my own because my time that I spend on researching and figuring things out could be using that time for self-care and creating. Also, I want to be coached by the best leaders who have what I’m aspiring to become on a premium level.
The best advice I have to gain these skills and qualities is to make it a daily habit. The days you’re tired or want to give up, remember your dreams to keep the self-belief, perseverance, and reach out to your coach to stay motivated and inspired. Become a lifelong student and always be a good student. In order, to be a good student be open to receive constructive criticism as well as compliments. Dreams come true with actionable steps and being intentional and consistent.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
I realized it’s normal to feel overwhelmed when you’re being stretched and your dreams get bigger. The more you accomplish and put on your to-do list the more overwhelmed you feel. If you’re not feeling overwhelmed at times then chances are you’re not reaching for big dreams. I promise you, if you keep going next year, how you feel now won’t exist because you have reached a new level. Now, you have to keep going to feel overwhelmed at the next level. The cycle repeats.
My self-care regimen are my strategies to embrace the new level of responsibilities and big dreams. I created a plan for when I feel overwhelmed. I changed my phone number, take mental health days to do things I love or sit in silence to allow time to process my thoughts.
Back to changing my phone number. I had the same number for sixteen years. My coach Les Brown always says “OPQ. Only quality people”. I reached a point in my life where I can’t have relationships with people who don’t understand the time it takes to thrive in business, needy friendships, negative or jealous people including family. If you don’t have people who support you, drama free, self-sufficient then you must be bold enough to love people from a distance. The only way you will meet likeminded individuals is by creating a vision for your life, creating a vision you want for family & friends, business, and never settle until you achieve it. It’s possible. The greatest decision I ever made was to walk away from dysfunctional relationships now I’m aligning with amazing, supportive, and functional individuals. I love it here!
To conclude, don’t always go by how you feel because nothing will get accomplished. Most times I feel tired but life is not stopping. Time is not slowing down. When I have deadlines to meet, caregiver duties, I don’t focus on how I feel. I just do what I have to do. When I finish then I rest and focus on self-care.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://gopatty.com/
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/iamgopatty?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Image Credits
Keith Garner, Jr
