Meet Patricia De Fonte

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Patricia De Fonte. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Patricia below.

Patricia, we are so happy that our community is going to have a chance to learn more about you, your story and hopefully even take in some of the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Let’s start with self-care – what do you do for self-care and has it had any impact on your effectiveness?

I have two secrets to success that are related to self-care: Saying “No” and scheduling and taking time to rest. It is easy for a highly capable person to say yes to too many things. I decided years ago to stop attending meetings where the lead would ask for volunteers – my hand goes up far too easily! Scheduled rest is critical. Swimming and reading are two of my favorite forms of rest. Some of my best ideas have come to me in the middle of swimming pool!

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I am an estate planning attorney in California and I have a boutique firm. What I love about my firm is our culture.

We never have emergencies, we work 9am to 3pm Monday-Thursday and until 1pm on Fridays, after our team meetings. We do not interrupt each other while working – everything goes on the agenda for the Friday team meetings. Lawyers are prone to depression, and keeping a close eye on the workload of each team member, and the types of clients they are working with, is critical.

Estate Planning With Heart® starts with me – am I rested and ready to lead the team, then it flows to the team – do they feel that their work is important and do they have the support they need? If we are in great shape, that means will provide excellent service to our clients, be active listeners, and be great issue spotters.

Estate planning at my firm is not a transaction (money for documents). We love what we do and spend four hours over three meetings with each client. This is the only way we can feel that we know the client, that they understand their documents, and that they and their professional team know what do once the documents are signed.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Three qualities that were most impactful are coachability, curiosity, and the capacity to ignore common wisdom.

I am a lawyer, but I run a business. Without investing in coaching over the years I might still have a solo practice and be working out of my home. Instead, I have a team of terrific attorneys and administrative assistants who allow me to do what I do best – high-level thinking, strategizing, and lawyering. Curiosity is critical for an estate planning lawyer and I would imagine in any business. If you are not deeply curious about your customers and about people in general, you will miss an opportunity to help someone. Common wisdom is particularly irritating for me. Who created all of these rules about the way we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do and what works and what doesn’t? Men. In the 50’s. I have zero interest in that worldview – it does not serve my agenda.

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

When I was about seven years old I asked my father what happens to us when we die. He told not to worry so much – that we will just walk and walk, past the sun, past the moon, until we come to the apple pie tree. It was the perfect story for me because I loved space (I wanted to grow up to be Lieutenant Uhura and be a scientist in a mini-skirt in space) and my favorite food was (is!) apple pie.

My parents always saw me as a full person, they respected me. They remain two of my biggest cheerleaders and fans. While they did not understand it when I moved to Italy for five years, or started law school in my thirties, or got my masters in my 40s, they trusted me to know myself and what I was doing.

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