Meet Patricia Qaiyyim

 

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Patricia Qaiyyim a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Patricia , so many exciting things to discuss, we can’t wait. Thanks for joining us and we appreciate you sharing your wisdom with our readers. So, maybe we can start by discussing optimism and where your optimism comes from?

Where does my optimism come from? I was born optimistic. As far back as I can remember, I have always seen the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. I inherited that sense of optimism from my father; no matter what the situation, he was always looking for and expecting the best outcome in the situation and in people. Like him, I find myself constantly looking for the best outcome.

That is not to say that only good things come my way or that I have not been met with pessimism because I have. But holding onto the ‘half-full’ mentality has helped me see the positive in everything, even if the only positive is my own outlook. And whenever I see the glass as half-full, my optimism grows.

Over the years, I have learned that having a positive attitude can be half the battle. People can sense someone’s optimism, and it can be contagious. The same can be true of the opposite; for example, when you come across someone with a negative or pessimistic attitude, you suddenly find yourself feeling that same negative energy. I work hard to avoid the negative energy and hope that when people encounter me, they can feel and feed on my positive outlook.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I have been writing professionally since 2020 but have always enjoyed it. In 2020, like so many of us, the pandemic caused me to pivot. Looking to make the best of it, I decided it was the right time to start a new chapter in my life by writing professionally. One thing that really encourages me on this new journey is the support of my family. My husband, my children, and extended family all give me so much encouragement and support. I cannot imagine doing this without their love and encouragement.

I have always enjoyed writing, and I had been toying with the idea of writing a book for many years. The opportunity to write professionally has been a wonderful experience and a dream come true.

From the beginning, I have had the goal of writing to educate, inspire, and motivate others. That has been my mantra and vision. With that in mind, my first book, “Moms In The Military Raising A Child While Serving In The Armed Forces,” was written to give my readers some insight into the lives and experiences of women who chose motherhood and military service simultaneously. It gives the readers a peek into what it takes to tackle motherhood and service.

My second book, “Shrouded In Words,” is a poetry collection. I share my thoughts and opinions on family, love, community, faith, and self-reflection in this collection. I believe that we hide or shroud ourselves with words like, “I’m okay,” “That didn’t hurt me,” and “Everything’s fine.” We do this to hide from others and sometimes ourselves. In this collection, I wanted to encourage or inspire my readers to remove some of their shrouds and open up to better connect with those around them.

I am currently working on a piece about children raised by military moms. Writing my first book gave me insight into a few military moms, and there seemed to be an underlying question about the impact of the military lifestyle on children, known as military brats. That was the reason and motivation behind this project. I am confident that these military brats will give insight to their parents, teachers, and friends while encouraging future military brats. The plan is to have this project published later this year.

On the horizon, I plan to work on my first fiction piece, a historical fiction loosely based on the life and legacy of an enslaved woman and Civil War veteran and her struggle to create a new life in the newly changed U.S.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Looking back, the three most essential qualities that have helped me are self-confidence, discipline, and consistency, in no particular order. When you are an entrepreneur or creative, you are often on your own, and you must have the confidence to go for it—the confidence in yourself when those around you might not have the same level of faith. Discipline is the quality that keeps me moving even when I didn’t feel like moving. It can be hard starting a new journey, and sometimes it takes discipline when it seems like things are not going how you want or need them to. But if you have the discipline to keep moving, you will get closer to the goal. Finally, consistency is the quality that helps me as a writer. Especially when I first started. It took me consistently writing to see my project take shape and develop; I found that the more I wrote, the more I wanted to write. Consistency keeps me returning to my writing, especially when life gets busy.

The one piece of advice I would share with new writers is the same advice my mentor gave me: Write, write, and write every day. Even if you have to start small, you have to start if you want to finish. Try writing for fifteen minutes every day and dedicate that time to writing. For me, this was a big help; not that everything I wrote was good, but it was a good way to create muscle memory, and I really did find it easier over time to sit and write.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

My parents have always had confidence in me; I don’t think they thought there was anything I could not do; and if they did, they never said so to me. Their faith in me and my abilities has always given me a sense of confidence that has helped me professionally and as a person, wife, and mother. Whenever I have been faced with a question or dilemma, I have always had the confidence to believe in myself and my abilities. I don’t think I really knew how much confidence I had until I became a parent. As my children grew, I could see the impact of my own confidence when I would see their confidence in me, if that makes sense. I just tackled everything with confidence, and I think that stems from my parents having such confidence in me; and I hope I have been able to instill that same sense of confidence in my children.

As for my mother, she was a courageous and adventurous woman, and her life gave me the courage to go places and try new things. She was not afraid to pick up and start over; her sense of adventure really served me well in the Armed Forces, making new assignments another adventure to enjoy. And even now, on this journey as a writer, I often think of her sense of adventure and strive to follow in her footsteps. As a parent myself, I have really tried to pass on my mom’s sense of adventure to my children.

While my mother was adventurous, my father always saw the good in everyone around him. His optimism was and still is a part of who I am. I can always see the bright side and the good in every situation, and that mentality has served me well. I always look to see the good and doing so has given me such a positive outlook that allows me to focus on the positive and not worry about the negative. Like my mother’s sense of adventure, my father’s optimism is also something I have always encouraged in my children.

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Image Credits

Photos by Jamal Qaiyyim

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