Meet Paty ‘Mariposa’ Hernandez

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Paty ‘Mariposa’ Hernandez. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Paty ‘Mariposa’ below.

Hi Paty ‘Mariposa’, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

I am the youngest of three children and was often the quietest. I loved receiving attention and being around others, yet I often refused to speak to others who were older. My oldest brother would often be found in his room reading or playing video games. I felt like an annoying pest anytime I sought him out. Of course, it didn’t help my case that often I was an annoying pest as I would initiate fights as a way to seek attention. My sister, the middle child, would always be around her friends, and I felt it would only want to play with me when we were alone in our shared room.

It was easy for me to make friends with strangers because I was constantly curious about them and asked them questions about themselves. This helped me on my current path as a social worker and coach. Their responses would help me feel wanted and accepted.

I developed my confidence and self-esteem by saying yes to new activities even if I was very scared. For example, I would travel often with my family and I would be the first one to ask for directions. I recall during summer and winter camps of saying yes to participating in drama activities.

I’ve developed my skill of taking initiative which helps with my confidence.

The two experiences that helped shape my confidence happened in my late 20s and early 30s. My first experience was working as a youth counselor at a wilderness camp for at-risk girls. It was a challenging 2 years as I worked with teenage girls who lacked self-esteem and would harness that energy by being mean or the other extreme of being quiet. I learned to speak up and support my colleagues. I also spoke in front of 100 girls and taught different activities which for me was difficult as I often struggled with explaining how to do things.

The second experience was spending 27 months in the Peace Corps serving in El Salvador. I was placed in a small community and learned to engage with people of all ages and thoughts. I would often be asked to speak on their behalf in front of 5-100 people at a moment’s notice.

These experiences pushed me out of my comfort zone as I stepped forward and took action.

Developing my confidence and self-esteem is still a work in progress, which I’m dedicated to every day.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

For as long as I can remember, acts of service have been my language of love. I’ve enjoyed volunteering and helping others since I was very young. From helping the elderly to helping the environment in various forms, it brings me great joy.

I fell into social work when I took a career assessment during my first year of community college. I didn’t know at that time what direction to go in, so I sought out the evaluation. I was leaning towards being a school social worker due to my positive experience with a school social worker when I was 12 years old. After completing the assessment, I was pleasantly surprised when it highly suggested a career in counseling, psychology, and social work.

After completing community college in Miami, I moved to Tampa to do my undergraduate degree in social work. I was in love from the first class. I learned that social work is more than counseling. It involves looking at the whole person’s physical, social, environmental, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects. After graduation, I accepted a position as a counselor at a wilderness camp for at-risk girls. The position involved helping the girls in a group environment understand their thoughts and behaviors yet also showing the impact that their home environment can have on them. Most of the girls came from homes that were very toxic and unstable.

One of the beautiful things about social work is that the career can go from macro, working with large groups, to mezzo, small groups, micro, and individual. My 20-year-plus social work career included each one, and now I’m focusing on micro as I see individuals and couples in person and virtually.

I am more than a social worker in private practice; I also teach Reiki from a trauma-aware perspective and other complementary tools. My focus now is helping people who have experienced trauma in any capacity to understand how it shows up in their minds and bodies and then how to take control of their responses.

This helps them to feel in control and be less reactive in their lives.

I enjoy teaching groups of all sizes in person and virtually about various topics. I am grateful for that assessment and the choices I have made that brought me here. I now get both of my loves together, trauma and reiki, to help people transform stress and trauma into inner peace.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

One impactful skill is the art of public speaking. Even though I felt timid growing up as I feared being laughed at or making mistakes, I felt the need to talk in front of others. I would volunteer to speak up in groups and teach something, like a game or task. I remembered shaking and talking fast, which others just picked up as excitement. They were shocked when I said I was scared. I joined a Toastmasters group, which has helped me improve my public speaking skills, and I highly recommend it to anyone trying to overcome the fear of talking to others.

The second area of impact was joining the Peace Corps. Their tagline is, “It’s The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love,” which is entirely true. There were so many times I thought of leaving early and going home. Yet, I stayed within my community and pushed myself to connect with my community members instead of hanging out with other Peace Corps volunteers. I keep in touch with some members and have returned to visit at least once. The best part of the Peace Corps is that you can go at any age. I hope to participate with my husband later in life as I’m sure the experience will be different as a married person compared to being single.

The third skill is being curious. Asking yourself and others questions about their decisions is really important. Reflection helps to move from being reactive to a state of awareness. It encourages people to think about what they’re doing instead of just doing it. Being curious is coming from a place of compassion rather than judgment. When I was completing my coaching certification, I remember receiving a list of questions I still use. I use this in personal and professional settings to learn about people. I prefer to have the spotlight on others, and this is a great way to do that. Most people enjoy talking about themselves and welcome the questions. You can research coaching questions and practice them with people you casually meet in any capacity. You’ll notice people remembering you for your inquisitiveness and feeling cared for.

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?

I am seeking collaboration in a variety of ways. I’d like to work with fellow therapists, healers, and first responders who are Reiki trained or wanting to be to assist them in using Reiki within their professional careers. I’d like to increase my network of Reiki practitioners to learn from and share my knowledge.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.mariposasholistic.com
• Instagram: @stresslesswithpaty
• Facebook: Mariposas Holistic Healing
• Youtube: @stresslesswithpaty
• Other: You’re not alone whatsapp group- https://chat.whatsapp.com/FlXv9A6M6aSJAPQjKsh8QV

Image Credits

@mariportraits
@FEMFORCESHOOTS